What men want?

What men want?

(When they rebuke, ”Leave it, you can’t do it!”)

Disclaimer: Such kind of blogs are generally penned to help few anonymous souls, who are seeking help in empowering themselves and to gain a better understanding of their roles. Any resemblance to anyone’s life is purely co-incidental.

This phrase is very commonly used in our male dominated society. Males (not all) get a sadist satisfaction whenever they utter these words to the fairer sex. I leave it for the reader to read this phrase with appropriate pause and stress. The tone may be low, but their body language gives away the real feelings.

I often discuss with my Popsie the difference between ego and self respect. As per my understanding, in self respect, one tends to protect one’s own dignity and never puts down the other person. Whereas in ego, all effort is done to humiliate, put down the other person. the work is done on the other person - the basic difference. Reader’s discretion is fully respected. 

In long term relationships, which are created by human beings, Yes! I am talking about marriage- a bond between two souls with different backgrounds and thinking. This pious divine bond always stands the test of time right from the time of inception. Both the parties try their level best to adjust, accommodate, to get this vehicle in forward direction. Yet, at times, this vehicle starts giving errors, stops or just dismantles. 

In terms of giving in marriage, I believe a woman gives far beyond than a man can ever do. She leaves her childhood house, even her surname. All her relations take a back seat including her school/college friends. She makes every effort to adapt and fit in. The man should feel indebted to her forever. On the contrary, most of the times, things work out in a different realm. She is made to feel inadequate, not accepted, so much so that she starts doubting her own decisions (if she is not mentally strong)- the gaslighting phenomenon

My question is open to the house. Who decides, rather who gives men the power to make her feel like this? We talk of big terms like women empowerment, women liberation. This cannot be achieved till the time a woman learns to support her fellow woman. Our society can never move ahead. Women who call themselves "the torch bearers of change" in our society, who are involved in social work talk and behave differently in social gatherings and at home. The same women who lectures about gender equality, either taunts her own daughter in law’s inability to bear a male heir or forces her for multiple pregnancies or abortions. Men are a witness to all this nonsense and think it’s fine to disrespect his spouse.

A woman can be another woman’s best friend as well as foe. The roles she play, decides her loyalty. She’s great as a mother, sister, friend and wife. But can be at her evil’s best in roles of - lover, sister in law and mother in law. Till the time, this equation doesn’t change, no amount of women’s empowerment or up-liftment is going to ever happen. This can be summarized in two lines. The joy of seeing your son in-law helping your daughter, is crushed at the sight of seeing your son help his wife. I rest my case at this point.

Due to this hypocrite behavior of women, men see themselves as in-charge in respective scenarios.The motive behind saying the phrase, “Leave it! You can’t do it!” is to awaken the women from slumber. It’s time to rise above individual differences and elevate the pedestal to such a height, where no one can shake it. Always remember the main ingredients God used to create the mould of woman is love, compassion, nurturer, care giver and essence of God himself -the power to create new life which is above any other thing. Let's start contributing and stop competing. 

Don’t ponder over what men want or say or weave stories around their remarks. They are incomplete without women and every woman has a man within. Be so focused in improving your own self, that you don’t have time for any such petty things. Choose your fights wisely.

P.S. I can vouch almost none of you must have expected this write up to conclude on a positive note going by the title. Keep loving, keep reading, keep sharing.

Love,

Juju