"Husband for a Day!"

Dear Diary,

" This incident is purely fictional, it should be taken in same spirits. Any resemblance to anyone,s life is purely co- incidental. This write up is not intended to hurt anyone,s feeling ."

Sharing a funny incident which can happen in anyone,s life.

Close to celebrating two decades of togetherness, a thought strikes: what gift should we gift each other! ( Caution ! Danger 440 V ! mention or even thought of gift on birthday,s and anniversaries is strictly forbidden.

Suddenly, I have a bright idea and share with my husband.

Me: "Hey, I have an amazing idea , I will be husband for a day and you will be wife for day. Let,s exchange our shoes on our anniversary day ."

Hubby: ( eyes glued to TV)" What do you mean ?"

Me : " Simple, I will be the husband for a day and vice versa."

Daughter & son ( who are silent spectator , suddenly blurt out together, " Wow ! mummy what an idea , you will spend your day watching TV, Netflix series, Amazon prime videos etc and ordering Papa ( oh ! I mean mummy for a day).

Hubby : " Listen ! kids, you will be under me as I will be in charge."

Son :  Oh no  ! I am trapped. Didi, lets go and study ."

So, the deal is done and locked.
Finally the D day arrives . The morning scene.

Me : " Good  morning , happy anniversary dear ! time to prepare tea and send
kids to school."

Hubby : " Don't disturb me !  suddenly remembers the deal ) Ohk! going ."

Hubby brings tea with almonds and biscuits .

Me ( sitting on couch, TV remote in one hand, newspaper in one hand, mobile by my side : Feeling like an Emperor ): " Nice tea , make another cup."

Husband tries to rationalize;" Abhi bahut hua !"

I remind him of the deal. He adorns his role as a mother and proceed towards kitchen to prepare school tiffin and drop kids to school.

Slowly, we become comfortable in our roles and day rolls by smoothly.

Time for evening tea and snacks.

I am waiting for this very moment since a long time.

Me ( clearing my throat): " Its been a beautiful day. I want to express my gratitude and make the following announcements.
Number 1: From now on , your mother will not cook food, I have realized she is really worked up. So, I have arranged for a 24 hours helper who will help your mother in kitchen and in other spheres.
( Me screaming my guts out , Wow Juju! you nailed it. But on outside I am calm and composed).

Number 2: During meal times, there will be no room service . Everyone will come to dining area without their mobiles and TV remotes.
( Me screaming Hurray! another victory).

Number 3 : From now on, we will go for family picnic or movie every sunday. ( Kids are jumping up from their chairs)

Number 4: After dinner, we will go for a walk and read books for an hour or so. No TV/ Mobile.

Number 5: ( very important): We will go for regular family vacations and that excludes your visit to maternal house.

Number 6 ( best for the last) ; I have realized that your mother works a lot and kids also have worked sincerely so..…( a long pause full of suspense ) We will be going for a "World tour" this summer and that includes Bahamas cruise as well."

Howz That !

Hubby is in a state of confusion and shock.
Kids are jumping with excitement and screaming " Good going mummy, oops! papa for a day ."

I conclude with a singing off remark for the day. " Whatever has been said today will be implemented in full spirits.
Feeling elated, I hit the bed (avoiding my husband,s intimidating shocking expression).

Tik.tik..tik..tik…...alarm goes off !
My husband gently nudges me , ' Honey, happy morning its 5 am time to wake up the kids , today is their last exam."

I jump out of bed in total disbelief , thinking , " Was it a dream or a reality!".
I search for my slippers and slip into my husband"s shoes instead.
What is happening ! my head is spinning !
I check my cell phone and am immediately pulled into present.
Oh my God ! Its really mid term exam and I am a mother . Scratching my head, mechanically , I go towards my kitchen with a thought in my head ," Pappu, saab ke liye chai aur bachhon ke liye tiffin tayaar karo." Ji memsaab ! ( I reply sub consciously).

 I am back in real time zone .

A song echoes in my mind," Subah ka sapna : kabhi nahin hota apna !"

Even if it was a dream , I thoroughly enjoyed and who knows it might come true one day.
For dreams turn into reality.

Love ,
Juju.

Circle Of Life

Dear Diary,

Sharing my all time favourite anecdote.

As I help my daughter pack her bags for her new phase in life : beginning of college life , I am engulfed by a mixture of emotions of love, sadness, joy, loneliness, despair. It feels as if someone is ripping my heart so see my own part going away from me physically.

For a moment, I close my eyes and travel back in time machine some 28 years ago.I open my eyes and the scenario is set in my Delhi home.

It seems like a rush hour : bags on bed : momsie moving around , all worked up . There I see myself sitting on the bed : excited as well as nervous.

Momise : " Raju! pack this panjeeri and besan sweets as emergency food in hostel."

Me: " Maa, the bag is already full!."

Momise:" An extra kilo or two won,t make much of a difference."

Me: " Daddyji, mummy ko samjhao."

Dad : " Don,t argue with your mom."

Me ( sighs!) : Ok 

Packing done ! Hurray !!!

Now is the last tea time talk with my momsie popsie before I board train to future.  My parents sit beside me .

Me ( thinking ) : Now is time for advise , suggestions ,...……...

Popsie : " Beta, you are entering this big world of adults. From now on you are on your own. Now, you will live in the main arena- real life.".

Momsie ( interjects): "Raju ! you need to be strong, self disciplined, focussed. We are always there to support you ."

Popsie takes over, " There are few important tips which your grandfather had given me , I am passing it on to you. Think of these college years as a Launch pad for your future life. There are bound to be distractions: be it peers or from opposite sex or otherwise. It,s absolutely fine to be attracted to a boy ( God forbids girl is not acceptable ). 

We all start laughing . The atmosphere lightens up.

Remember your limits and always keep us in the loop. We are friends from now on. "

Mom shifts her gaze towards me ,"Raju!, this is like a train journey. You will meet many people, befriend many, travel with them for some distance. Always remember, every individual has his/her own destination stop. Don't miss yours. Alight from the train at the right time at the right stop."

Everybody keeps down their tea cups . I gather the cups and head towards the kitchen with my Momsie Popsie,s pearls of wisdom.

FAST FORWARD...…………..28 years,

As I am talking to my daughter, I envision my own talk prior to similar  journey.

Only now the daughter has adorned the mother,s role.

I can feel my Mom smiling from heaven , "Raju! this is circle of life !"

So true Maa! Love you from this world to your world : Till we meet again : Up there.

Love,

Juju. 

Return ticket - FPG Diary

Dear Diary,
Good morning 🌞 🌞

Mornings are blissful especially if one affords at least half an hour of "Me" time. Be it doing exercise, yoga, meditation or sipping hot cup of tea/coffee. One becomes conscious of the power of subconscious mind.

Today, I am sharing one of my favorite tea time talks with my Momsie Popsie.

Me: "Mummy, why do you always say Delhi aate jaate raha karo ? whenever I call you to inform you about my trip : your first question is : when are you going back ?"

Mom: " Raju! Once a daughter is married : this is the biggest blessing as parents that our daughter visits us regularly."

Me: " I feel hurt at times and think you don't like me visiting you. Even dad keeps asking which sweets do you want to take back ! Abhi to unpack bhi nahin kiya !"

Mom: " Raju!  You will understand the essence much later in your life the real meaning of aate jaate
raha karo

Me: please explain

Popsie ,who is reading newspaper and silently listening to mother daughter conversation intervenes,
Iska Matlab kadwe shabdo mein batao ?

Yes, dad please

Remember my child, you are always welcomed and will be treated with respect and love in your maternal household : Pause : suspense ,...............

Me silently screaming , Dad please complete .....

Popsie : puts his tea cup down and continues - if you have your return ticket with you this love and affection will be multiplied by thousands.
It's basic human nature : that v are on our gaurd if v feel a threat from someone : your return ticket allays the threat angle.
Hope you understand!.

Momsie,smiles  and gets up with the tea tray, to prepare another cup of kadak chai .

My tea has turned cold.

It dawns upon me : there is truth in each and every word. I remember my professor,s word from Tata memorial hospital , Mumbai- his golden advise " madam, agar aap kuch seekhna chahate ho to kabhi mat kehna Mumbai settle hona hai ; then they will teach you well as you will no longer be a threat to their practice.

There and then I decided from now on : I will keep visiting Delhi regularly however, I always book my return ticket prior to booking onward journey.

I can feel my Mom smiling from heaven and saying ,"Raju, aate jaate raha karo: ab main nahin Hoon , daddy Hain, bhaiyya &  bhabhi Hain ".

Love you Maa for this simple lesson over cup of tea.

Take care,
Love,
Juju 

Lesson taught by my son : FPG Diary

Dear Diary,

Sharing a lesson taught by my 10 year old son. Follow the conversation

Me: Son, should I put vegetable salad inside Bonn burgers buns for Tiffin?

Son: No , mummy ! Put salad in brown bread !

Me: taste is better in burger buns ! It's a healthy Tiffin.

Son: mummy our new Principal sister has come and she takes rounds during recess . If she sees burger buns: she will scold me for bringing junk food !.

Me: ok fine! As you say .

Then, my son speaks up :
Mummy , on one hand, our Principal sister says " don't bring junk food in Tiffin like burger, Maggie, pasta etc.......
On other hand : they r selling hotdogs, burgers, noddles in school canteen.

Isn't it contradictory?? Obviously it is !
Bringing home cooked burger/ pasta/ Maggie once in a while is always far more healthier ad my mom prepares with love and care !.

How can they sell junk food in canteen?
How come rules r different ?????????????

A big questioning look on my Son,s face !!!!!

I think for a while and reply: your observation is absolutely right ! I will try to communicate to school authorities amicably !

Pause .....

V resume our studies.

I think most parents must be facing such situation with realisation " our children r our teachers !!

Take care of yourself ❤️
Love,
Juju 

Life,s lessons from my FPG Diary

Dear Diary,

There,s a calling ! Just the same as u feel on watching sea waves.

Sharing from my Popsie-Momsie dairy :

The reason for insecurity amongst parents whose children are married especially after marrying their sons is :

As my FPG quotes: when you marry yr son ; it is duty of parents ( both father & mother)  to escalate their position &  become Rajpita & Rajmata and .....
Hand over the crown to new king & his queen.

This transition should be smooth and might take some years.

The earliest;  this change occur in families
There will be far less disappointments: healthier relationships.

Will see u soon with more teachings from my FPG diary.
Have a great day !

Love,
Juju 

The art of talking : FPG Diary

Dear Diary,

Good afternoon
Sharing from my Momsie Popsie FPG Diary:

It is not important what you say or how you say !
Important is : how well you reach the other person !
My FPG,s favourite pearl ! .

This gets me in a fix :

I can only control my own words/ body language: how can I control the other person???? Is my repeated question to my dad:

He smiles: and leaves with " Agar sahi tarah iss par sochhoge; u will get the answer by yrself ".
Again he repeats: the whole game of winning lies in how to reach the other person in the same spirit & faith as you want. Keep working u will learn this art one day!

Me: Daddyji: I am forty plus : already covered half the  journey. When will I learn ??

FPG: one who stops learning : stops growing
Are u growing or aging??????????????

 ...................

I adorn my thinking hat !
Really I want to grow .........

Love,
Juju 

Tea time talk from FPG Diary

Good morning!
A thought came to my mind :
How important it is to be aware of yr thoughts and more important to discard/ flush unwanted negative thoughts and channelize our energy on positive thoughts !

Another pearl from my Momsie Popsie FPG Diary.....

During a casual tea time talks :
My Momsie,s words : Agar pati-patni ki aapas mein nahin banti ; isse zayada durbhagya ki baat nahin!.
Husband wife are wheels of their so called car of life . Stay connected: communicate with each other after all misunderstandings can be resolved by proper communication. There should be no gap.!

Me: momsie! U can say this because u r in a happy & blissful state as yr other wheel ( my father) is balancing well.

What about those marriages in which one feels that " ek tyre maruti ka hai: and doosara Mercedes-Benz ka".

Immediately , my popsie who is sipping tea  and I thought is oblivious to my conversation with mom says:
If such a situation occurs ; then the maruti tyre should inflate itself & Mercedes-Benz tyre should deflate: one needs to maintain the balance at all costs! 

I am intrigued and say : what if the maruti tyre bursts while inflating or Mercedes-Benz tyre deflates out?? Phir Kya hoga dad ( with a stupid grin).

FPG: When a marriage is solemnized in our society: it is taken that both are mature to enter into this relationship & mature enough to know their limits ! Where is the question of bursting of tyre.

Momsie (Nods in complete agreement with her better half ): Raju ! Not all things can be taught or spoon fed : u learn with time !.

Tea over!

I adorn my thinking hat and think how much should I inflate/ deflate in the tyre at my end.......  ...

Love,
Juju 

Insight from my FPG Diary

Dear Diary,

Good afternoon!

While driving my son to school, My car was behind  PCR  ( police control room) Ertiga car with dial 100 in bold. My son remarked: this is a wrong number it should be 911.
I was taken aback: No son: in India it is 100
He replied : I am talking about US not India
Me: we r living in India: v should know 100: 101: 102 .....

My son : my exposure is not limited to India: infact the  books I read, computer/ mobile games I play: all are US based.

Alarm in my head : tring tring!!!
Pause: breathe: think.
As I mother : i encourage my kids to read novels/ books:most r foreign authors which depict foreign life& culture. Have made them read abridged autobiographies of mahatma gandhi, RN tagore, Nehru.
Yet impact is something I cannot gauge.
This generation is smart.
Gandhi / Nehru.....acquired degrees in foreign land :had foreign land influence  and then came back !

V reach school. He waves with big smile obvilious to the hurricane in his mothers mind by uttering 911.

I adorn my thinking cap : is my parenting in right direction ?
My son talks more about pancakes, waffles, macarons, falafel: pita bread: bell peppers:........... question questions????????

Then I remember a pearl from my Momsie Popsie FPG Diary: " Raju, overthinking kills!

 itna nahin sochhte: zayada socchna is not good for health esp when v can't control things.

I visualize my FPG  saying:" it was a casual remark of 911! Pata nahin tune  kya Kya soch liya 10 minutes mein:  just take it as a comment : don't weave a story around and get yrself entangled in thought process in wrong direction".

Immediately: I am back in present moment : what he is saying is true.
How many: how many times: v weave a story around a simple remark and then get stressed out.
Need to take comment as a comment! That,s it.
Full stop.

Keep my thinking hat and ready to take the day in 200% spirit& energy.

Love,
Juju 

Straight from my FPG Diary

Dear Diary,
Happy , positive morning !

While driving my son to tennis class early this morning : with my husband on driving seat :
I just pondered what is happiness & peace ?. Those 20 minutes of drive was absolutely blissful, peaceful & pure. Why can't we be in the same state all the time ?.......

Reminds me of a conversation & Sharing a pearl  from my MomsiePopsie FPG Diary:

Routine tea time talks with my parents

Me: mummy ! What do u mean by " Enjoy every moment ". I have been listening to this since childhood.  How to enjoy ??

Momsie: Raju! Enjoyment is a state of mind. If v enjoy each moment then imagine how many  moments u will collect & yr happiness bank balance will be full.
When I say this ! I mean be in that moment cherish it enjoy and be oblivious to next or previous moment , just be in that time space.

Me: this goes above my head !

Momsie: why do u think u can understand this immediately. Life is not maths : I tell u the formula and u apply. It is beyond...........
It is a journey and yr experience  which makes u understand. Life is a great teacher.

Meanwhile, as usual my FPG finishes tea and in his usual style remarks:

See beta, life is very simple. Stop analysing & start enjoying !. U can't do both together
For me/ us: the ritual of sipping tea together which yr mom makes is more spiritual & religious than going to a temple: v enjoy the moment: live in it. At times: v don't talk also. There is understanding in silence too.

Me: ( like a aggressive, oversmart KG child):
How is it possible? Life has its ups & downs : how can u maintain that space & feeling?

FPG: sabse pehle: u can't learn life ke fundas so quickly or immediately. Samay ke saath : dheere dheere sab samajh mein aa jaata hai!
Apply principle of seeing life in totality: then u will experience...............

FPG keeps his cup down on table & gets up to go for his morning  walk.......

Momsie: smiles, picks up the tray and say " Raju, enjoy every moment " and leaves.......

As far as I am concerned: I think over & it dawns upon me : living that each moment is a key to harmonious life.
I do fail umpteen number of times: but remind myself of ant story & again bounce back.......

Next thing in my mind : " Totality of life".
Will keep for next teatime  as I want to enjoy every moment ..............

With love,
Juju 

Challenging times

Dear Diary,

Challenging times can either make u or break u!
Choice is ours .
Please be yr own counsellor and try to make it always !

As in Japan : broken vases/ things are repaired / glued. The re- joined part is highlighted to emphasize the fact that we break in life : so many times! Important is to regain yrself back..
 Scars are beautiful!
Always remember for it means you have lived a good life .

Love
Juju 

Straight from my heart

Dear Dairy,

This poem/thoughts, I penned down when my mom left us on 18 June 2015 :
a routine summer vacation trip changed into a life altering transforming trip.

Maa to maa hai, maa ki umar nahin hoti,

Kuch rishton ki umar nahin hoti.
Faaslein na honn ,

to yatra khatam nahin hoti.
Yeh ehsaas unko hi hai, 

jisne kisi apne to khoya hai ,

Varna aise berukhi se na poochte ,

" kitne saal ki thi auntiji"
Aur uske baad ka yeh dil todne wala  jawab " phir to theek hai "

Kya kahein unse, saal nahin, ve to har pal mein sau saal jeei hain hamesha, 

har pal ko jeena sikha gayein hain.
Aakhri lamhe mein bhi woh apni baat keh kar, bina vilambh ke parmatma ke paas chali gayein hai!"

Kaun kehta hai, maa ki kitni umar sahi hai: yeh sansaar chodne ke liye ?

Apna vazood aur sanskars apne bachhoon aur aage ki peedi mein chhod gayi hain!
Woh zinda hai meri har baat mein, mere har khayal mein, meri har soch mein, meri har kalpana mein!

Kaun kehta hai " ma ki kitni umar hai?" Maa to Maa hai : Maa ki koi Umar nahin Maa to amar hai, ajar hai.

Juju.

Love u mom#feel u
From this world to your world

: till v meet again up there 

Today,s lesson

Dear Diary,
The lesson I learnt today is to practice mind control : tongue control in nutshell self control. Silence gives immense strength. It needs lot of will power and determination to keep quiet when all you want to do is shout. I have seen of late : majority of our life,s problem ( so called ) die a natural death without affecting us. Controlling your thoughts and words is the only Mantra
Let's practise
Self control.
Bye
Love,
Juju