Momsie Popsie Diary

Ahoi Ashtami –Celebration of her creation# Ten commandments P.S. This is one of my popular blogpost which has been edited. The Ten commandements are by writer's own experience. Any difference in opinion is deeply respected.  A routine casual good morning greeting to my daughter (who is in hostel) led to this write up when my daughter remarked, “Mummy! if you are observing this fast for our well being then, we should also keep a fast for our parent's well being.”  Ahoi Ashtami celebrated on the eighth day from Poornima and a week prior to Diwali i.e. Amavasya, falls on the same day as Diwali. As compared to “Karva Chauth” the enthusiasm and commercialization of this festival is to a far lesser degree may be minimal (my feeling, not intended to hurt anyone's sentiments). For me, observing this fast is much more than a ritual- it's celebration of me # my blessing to create. While sipping hot cup of tea, I penned down few thoughts which crossed my mind for an effective pare

  TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE P.S. This is edited from my last year's blogpost. " Karwa chauth”, is an auspicious festival in our culture where a married girl prays for long life of her husband.    This is celebrated with immense integrity, love and faith for one,s spouse. This holds a multi dimensional aura with few challenging angles as to why a wife should fast ? Why not her husband ? Infact, there is not a single fast in our culture (as far as my knowledge goes) where a husband fasts for his wife.  This school of thought even beguiled me for some time in my initial years. However, I followed this ritual as told by my elders. In my sub-conscious mind, a set of dialogues/phrases played (which everyone must have heard) like :  “ Marriage is an institution”, “ You should accept your spouse as he is and not make an attempt to change him – unconditional acceptance” Marriage for a boy means- end (in terms of settlement) whereas for a girl ( > 50%), it is the beginning of a jo

Walk in the park# life's lesson  A bright Saturday early morning, overcast Delhi skies, I tie my favourite sneakers and set out for a walk in the park. Never realized, as to how every step that I took, I got a clearer picture of life. It seemed the whole circle of life was moving in this park right front of my eyes. Most of the faces were unfamiliar. The faces I remember from my childhood days seemed to have crossed over to the other dimension. The park was alive with life. Toddlers in their prams, children playing sports, young people running or walking, elderly chitchatting on benches, few doing exercise in open gym. Green grass patch had small group of yoga class. The centre clearing was stage for hip hop dance class. This sight left me spellbound. Birds were singing in harmony, butterflies added their fluttering notes, their rhythm, squirrels running from one tree to another. I felt overwhelmed. I could visualize myself in different age groups in all these scenes. My trance

Reader's Choice # Stop comparing! (P.S. The name of reader in Reader’s Choice blog write ups is never disclosed. Any close resemblance to anyone is purely incidental. In this write up, I will dwell upon marital relationship from girl’s viewpoint to honor Reader’s request). Fingers of our hand are unequal in length. The purpose of each finger is different. Do we ever compare our little finger with our thumb or fore finger? Never! The answer is so obvious. Then why do we compare ourselves with others in many aspects. One tends to compare houses, vehicles, income, family, children, their college etc and even relationships. Two different souls with entirely different backgrounds tie the nuptial knot with a promise to live till last breath and beyond. Initial euphoria gets settled and reality hits both of them. In patriarchal society, the girl leaves her house, surname and gives her best shot to whole heartedly accept the boy’s family. (Exceptions are always there.)The boy is used t

Reader's Choice # Appreciate the living (P.S. The name of reader in Reader’s Choice blog write ups is never disclosed. Any close resemblance to anyone is purely incidental.) Many a times, one gets so lost in the memory of someone real close that one tends to ignore the living. The power of human mind has not been harnessed as yet. The memory of those who have crossed over into another realm outweigh the reality.   Thoughts of deceased one, keep on playing in one's mind and all the moments of association seem to be sewn together in a shorter time frame. The thought traffic is so much that it leads to slowing of neuronal signal traffic.  A grieving heart cannot see beyond the grief.  Many a times, one identifies the mistakes done with the deceased soul, and unknowingly repeats it with those living. It is of utmost importance to learn from past experience so as to not commit mistakes in the present. Covid pandemic has been a witness to countless untimely deaths in various ag

Reader's Choice # Fault in stars (P.S. The name of reader in Reader’s Choice blog write ups is never disclosed. Any close resemblance to anyone is purely incidental.) It’s a normal human tendency to find fault exteriorly whenever something goes wrong in our lives. It’s so easy to look outside and needs immense courage to dwell inside. Gradually, one tends to label it as “It’s all in my stars, not my fault.” This one phrase seems to erase the guilt. Is it really so? My work place’s tranquility was broken when a friend literally barged into my office, visibly disturbed and murmuring, “He always does this to me, it’s my fault, my destiny is star crossed, I have faulty stars and so on. As a pro active reflex, I played my favorite Buddhist chants and ordered two cups of strong milk tea. After pacing my office for few minutes, she eased and sat on my reclining couch. I did not utter a word and patiently waited for her to speak up. She started off with the usual difficulties one faces

Reader’s Choice # Part 2 Father-son: the less spoken about relationship P.S. This is not a gender based write-up. Name of the person on whose request this has been written is strictly confidential. It's a lengthy write up for a blog  hence, it is divided into 2 parts.      Many a times, father asserts his position and power which doesn’t go well with his children. There is hairline difference between being assertive and dictatorship. Many a times, father’s behavior is judged as dictatorship by his own children especially son. Daughter’s tend to bend /bow down whereas as a son may confront. It seems like you are against your own self (a thirty years younger version).  Children learn by imbibing what they experience. Parent’s actions and conduct leaves a lasting impression than their words/preaching. In an attempt to prevent the child from committing mistakes, which parents did at the same age as that of their son's, usually an urgency or impatience creeps in which disturbs their

Reader’s Choice #Are we non-judgemental enough!  In this Reader’s choice series, request is to highlight body shaming (P.S. The name of reader in Reader’s Choice blog write up is never disclosed. Any close resemblance to anyone is purely incidental.) God has taken every bit of care to create unique living beings. We, the highly evolved human beings have somehow forgotten this and try to judge each and every thing, aspect and God's creation too. Birth and death, day and night, hot and cold, dry and rains, greenery to deserts, everything on this planet co-exists. The essence lies in the existence of other realm. Somewhere during the evolution, one part of being non judgmental has become rudimentary and being judgmental has hypertrophied. Right from the time a soul takes a mortal form, so does the judgement of our society. One is judged on basis of color, sex, caste, creed, weight, height etc. There are different judgment parameters for age groups and sex. In males, height, wei

Reader’s Choice # Part 1 Father-son: the less spoken about relationship P.S. This is not a gender based write-up. Name of the person on whose request this has been written is strictly confidential. It's a lengthy write up for a blog hence, it is divided into 2 parts.    Father! a person who readies the child for the world, who is generally busy in working to provide a comfortable life for his family. A figure who spends most of his time working out of the comforts of home while his wife looks after their house and family. The relation between father and son is multifaceted and multi dimensional. There is a popular saying, “By the time, I realized my father is right, I have a son who thinks I am wrong.” One realizes the depth of this as one attains maturity. If one goes down the pages of history, one can find innumerable stories about mother’s love, but there are very few about father’s love. Men are not expressive by nature. The actions like hug, embrace or kiss are in di

  Mobile in Mobile World! This term struck me, as I waited along the side of road at zebra crossing, waiting for my turn to cross the road. Almost every vehicle rider, be it a two wheeler or a four wheeler, almost everyone had a mobile phone in one hand and other hand on the wheel.   They seemed oblivious to the ongoing traffic and pedestrians. All the expressions and thoughts seemed to be in sync with the person on the other side of the mobile. It seemed scary to me to cross the road. A thought struck me, “Why are human beings in so much hurry? On which race track are they running? Is multi tasking a good thing? If the answer is yes, then, at what cost?” They are already in a physical mobile state. To add a cherry on top, the mind is also in mobile state. How can anyone focus on the work which requires one’s total attention (here, I refer to driving). One has to act sensibly when, the life of others is at risk besides one’s own life. Every day, we witness these scenes, many a time

PES! I am sitting at my workplace. A known friend comes and reaches out for my hand. She holds it. I am taken aback by this. Sensing my discomfort, she blurts ‘” I have come to take positive energy from you!” “Are you a PES?” I retorted. She gave me a blank look.   I explained to her, “PES implies positive energy seekers or sucker, either way. Which category do you belong?” She smiled and said, “Obviously, seeker.” Our conversation over cup of tea transcended from trivial things to life altering experiences. After forty five minutes, she stood up seemingly charged and confident. Heading towards the door, she looked back and smiled, “I am in love with this word –PES, important is to be seeker. “ Swaying her ponytail she walked, there was a spurt in her stride. I felt charged and filled with positive energy too. In my day to day life, I am wary of suckers and inadvertently invite seekers. There is a hairline difference between the two. It is of utmost importance to recognize this d

T&C apply In all important documents, all of us must have noticed that terms and conditions are mentioned in very small size, barely visible to naked eye. There is a reason behind this strategy. What is appearing large and obvious is relevant, but the small alphabets at the bottom form the crux. So often, one tends to ignore the small written content and reads what the seller wants us to read.  The seller knows the mind of the buyer way too much than the buyer himself.This is one of the most time tested technique for allurement. T & C is applicable to every aspect of our lives. In every work sphere, every relationship there exist terms and conditions. Mother nature, functions in an immaculate way by its own laws. Any species, who challenges the laws, tends to face the wrath. There are innumerable incidences which one can read and must have witnessed too in their lives. To harness the wild energy of man, certain terms and conditions were laid down by learned sect of the so

Through a child's lens! P.S. This write up is written in a light vein to add humor to real life anecdotes as perceived by me as a child. If one is true to oneself, you will echo the same feelings.  Who is a rebel? There are various ways to define this depending upon the sphere of activity. I define myself as a born rebel, giving my Momsie a real hard time. I challenged her ways of expression of showing mother's love by pouring extra ghee in meals or filling (almost overflowing) cup of milk, adding grated bottle gourd in yogurt, chopping vegetables so fine and tiny, that they cannot be picked separately by spoon or fork. And one ends up eating them. This conduct seems like a heinous crime to a small child.  In spite of asking what to cook for lunch, my mother prepares some entirely different meal, also accounts to breach of trust. To a child (here I refer to myself) mother seems no different than a Jai Chand, many a times.   As my journey around the sun increased, so did the reb

P.S. This write up is dedicated to all the souls who left their mortal form suddenly, who were alone in their last moment or did not get a proper farewell as per their rituals and customs. Dedicated to my school friend who is unable to come to terms with loss of her parent and seeks my help. Pray this helps ! Human beings live life as if, they are immortal. The awareness about mortality has been deeply buried. Time and again, the vulnerable aspect of human life strikes and the slumber is broken. Some handle it in a stride, few tend to remain shaken, for  others, it may take a long time to come to terms with reality . Covid pandemic has been one of the greatest tool in bringing this fact on surface. Human beings are vulnerable and mortal. Yet, many  people tend to forget this. Last eighteen months have witnessed  many instances. So many people were half way across the globe when their loved ones left on higher journeys. The pain of not being in their last moment or in being a part of th

Indiscipline Vs Discipline A baby is born in this world, free, natural and pure. The entire family tries to inculcate discipline in the little child right from the next moment. Be it feeding schedule, bathing schedule, toilet training etc. Somehow, what the newborn learns depends upon the learning experience of the teachers - parents and family.  During the initial years, the carefree, natural soul is conditioned as per family's and society values. Everything seems black and white with no transition zones. It,s either right or wrong. Gradually, the child becomes a disciplined and cultured person. The situation changes when the time comes to fly from the nest. Welcome aboard ! the arena of life - big world. There is exposure to different culture and traditions. Many of us start to feel suffocated in our disciplined moulds. Lucky are those ,who can control/modify the breaking of their cast and embrace life as it is. If this spell is broken, indiscipline is bound to make its way. It i

The Closure!  Everything, everyone needs a closure. If we talk in medical terms,the primary wound closure takes generally 24 to 48 hours, that's healing by primary and secondary intention.  Thereafter, it takes around 4 to 6 weeks for the wound to heal and tissue to regain strength. This is the time period that nature has decided upon the wound closures. But what about our emotional wounds? How much time does it take? Have you ever thought about it?  The amount of time emotional wound takes to heal, can take from few hours, to days for few of us, to a lifetime for others. Right from the time, when we learn to speak to the time we learn to be in silence, I have realized, talking doesn't require much energy. Whereas, it takes immense strength, will power and restraint to withhold our words. In many situations, speaking becomes detrimental. The proverb, " If speech is silver, silence is gold", holds true. Silence is closure to speech. The point here, which comes in my mi

4:40 am This word and time is very close to my heart. Those were the days !   I am taking you back to the era, when all of us lived normal lives # Pre Covid Era.  My elder monk, who is in medical school used to leave by this 4:40 am PRTC ( Punjab roadways transport corporation) bus on Mondays, which ever weekend she came. This golden time period was purely divine. Waking up at 3:30 am , preparing tea, packing breakfast getting ready etc to reach bus stand by 4:30 am.  Earlier, I had a misconception about state roadways bus setvice, especially Punjab roadways. I used to find them highly unsafe. Thanks to my elder monk, I am happy to change my biased opinion. Over the years, I found these bus services to be safe, their driver and conductors co-operative and polite. They greet you with a warm assuring smile. When they say ," Mam, don't worry, we will halt the bus, right in front of medical school",  your worries disappear. For the very first time, when I reached the bus stan

  When I call or message, it means ........ I leave this incomplete sentence for readers, to complete for themselves.  I will complete this sentence from my own perspective. It means that person is very important in my life and I just want to check on their well being. There is no intention of breeching into their private life. We all have twenty four hours. If someone (in your circle) messages or calls you, one should try to take that call or revert back as soon as possible (in case you are unable to take that call).  There are many individuals who have a latency in replying. That's the way they are. It's nothing personal against someone. Their behaviour is same for everyone (No offense intended). They need to be unconditionally accepted. I have realized, after going around the sun for four and a half decades, each person is shaped depending upon the family environment and circumstances.  Some families have a habit of staying connected, keep each other updated. Whereas in othe

What men want? (When they rebuke, ”Leave it, you can’t do it!”) Disclaimer: Such kind of blogs are generally penned to help few anonymous souls, who are seeking help in empowering themselves and to gain a better understanding of their roles. Any resemblance to anyone’s life is purely co-incidental . This phrase is very commonly used in our male dominated society. Males (not all) get a sadist satisfaction whenever they utter these words to the fairer sex. I leave it for the reader to read this phrase with appropriate pause and stress. The tone may be low, but their body language gives away the real feelings. I often discuss with my Popsie the difference between ego and self respect. As per my understanding, in self respect, one tends to protect one’s own dignity and never puts down the other person. Whereas in ego, all effort is done to humiliate, put down the other person. the work is done on the other person - the basic difference. Reader’s discretion is fully respected.  In lon

  Que sera sera “Whatever will be: will be “, these words hold an eternal meaning. Yet we tend to think more than what is necessary and disturb our mental peace. Every human mind has two voices within – which control the extreme end of every sphere. Simultaneously, these voices send signals which can make us reactive/ impulsive or pro active. The bad voice (j ust to differentiate) urges   me to open the wrapper of chocolate and take a bite , whereas the good voice /other voice refrains and tries to rationalize the after effects of eating chocolate late night. Fingers are on keyboard, eyes glued to my laptop, and guess what, my right hand reaches for the side table. The chocolate is now in   my captivity. I quickly tear the chocolate wrapper and take a bite. The other voice seems to be muffled as if drowned and the bad (dominant in this moment) voice grins in the most devilish way. My good voice knows it’s pointless to argue with the bad voice and surrenders. In the next few minutes

9 inch # Change of perpsective This anecdote will resonate with many of us. Two decades of marriage has it,s own shares of ups and downs with sweet and spicy memories. The scenario I am about to share is very common and occurs very frequently. In couples, especially when both are working, most of the times, one spouse keeps things be it food items or important papers. When the other spouse asks about it, the usual reply is, “It’s right in front of your eyes, how can you not find it!” The tone generally changes into impatience. This keeps on happening so frequently and one tends to think,” He/ she can never find anything, whereas it takes a second for me to find it.” A sense of pride starts to creep in insidiously. These little incidents, time and again can ignite the relationship. Whether it is doused as a small fire or it takes the shape of a major fire outbreak, depends upon the maturity levels of two souls. During summers, I usually prepare a fruit platter and keep separate bowl