Reader’s Choice # Father-son: the less spoken about relationship- Part 2

Reader’s Choice # Part 2

Father-son: the less spoken about relationship

P.S. This is not a gender based write-up. Name of the person on whose request this has been written is strictly confidential. It's a lengthy write up for a blog hence, it is divided into 2 parts.  

 

Many a times, father asserts his position and power which doesn’t go well with his children. There is hairline difference between being assertive and dictatorship. Many a times, father’s behavior is judged as dictatorship by his own children especially son. Daughter’s tend to bend /bow down whereas as a son may confront. It seems like you are against your own self (a thirty years younger version). 

Children learn by imbibing what they experience. Parent’s actions and conduct leaves a lasting impression than their words/preaching. In an attempt to prevent the child from committing mistakes, which parents did at the same age as that of their son's, usually an urgency or impatience creeps in which disturbs their mental state. The child's growth chart is always different from his parents. Let this chart be original. Everyone learns in his own unique style. 

“While you thought nobody was watching you: I watched you!’’ This silent message is in the mind of every child. So, be conscious of your own actions as a responsible adult/parent. If the child doesn’t see you respecting your own parents, no amount of schooling or motivation will let the child respect you. If a child doesn’t see you behaving well with your staff or general public, he will think of it as a normal way. Do lay down correct moral values. Be a role model for your child. In between father and son, none should try to enter, be it mother/wife or sister/daughter. A father's heartbeat can be heard in his son's chest. All pain vanishes if someone is hugged at the right time. Precision of timing is also important. A father should try to inculcate soft emotions too. 

“Angry young man “phrase has been always shown as a sign of macho man whereas a compassionate, lively man is always portrayed as second in lead – as hero’s best friend. I often wonder that during the entire film, the hero tries his best to be with his lady love and has to face all obstacles and villains. Whereas, the so-called chilled out friend hangs out with his lady love throughout the length of the movie. Although the friend is not glorified as a hero yet, he seems to be living a happy fulfilled life on his own terms. The hero under the ‘macho man’ burden spends his energy and time in fighting to live a peaceful life.

My humble message to all the fathers – Be the man/human being you want to see your son grow up as. Your son is watching you, imbibing your actions. You are under the radar all the time. Be more of a friend, more of a guide, more approachable. The time machine is ticking and soon your son will outgrow you in stature and position. Look at yourself and make the changes in your own good self, which you think your son needs to change. 

There is no perfect parenting book. No prefect father son relationship. It  is based on a concrete foundation of love, faith and trust.

Hope you elevate your relationship to the highest level.

Love,

Juju.