Karwa Chauth special -Ten Commandments of Marriage

TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

“Karwa chauth”, is an auspicious festival in our culture where a married girl prays for long life of her husband.  This is celebrated with immense integrity, love and faith for one,s spouse. This holds a multi dimensional aura with few challenging as to why a wife should fast ? Why not her husband ? Infact, there is not a single fast in our culture (as far as my knowledge goes) where a husband fasts for his wife. 

This school of thought even beguiled me for some time in my initial years. However, as I followed this ritual as told by elders. In my sub-conscious mind, a set of dialogues/phrases played (which everyone must have heard  especially by parents, bhabhi, sisters ,in-laws ) like : 

“ Marriage is an institution”,

“ You should accept your spouse as he is and not make an attempt to change him – unconditional acceptance”

“ Marriage for a boy means- end ( in terms of settlement) whereas for a girl ( > 50%), it is the beginning of a journey (fairy tale ) thanks to Yash Chopra and Karan Johar persons who are epitomes of romance and honeymooning in Swiss Alps ( More than 50 % , dimaag to inn dono ne sabse zayada kharaab kiya hai !- my apologies. May Yash Chopraji soul rest in peace)

“ Shaadi to nibhaani padti hai”,etc,etc,………..

Being on this journey for  two decades with few ups and down , I have penned down “ Ten Commandments for a successful marriage”.

First, is “Importance” – make your spouse feel important as much so that your head rises and heart beats proudly for yr mate,s glory and achievement.

Second, is “Romance” – maintain your sense of humor, make your loved ones smile, let the spark be alive.

Third is “Decisions” – Let the other one choose, make conscious sacrifices, for in their smiles lies your own joy.

Fourth is “ Independence”- Let your mate often be on themselves. A bird knows that it,s heart lies in the nest and it even knows better when flies alone…

Fifth is “ Co-ordination” – plan for working in harmony , plan evening dates with your spouse , plan intimacy….

Sixth is “ Social sphere” – never block the freedom of expression in everybody,s presence. NEVER ! NEVER ! interrupt your spouse in front of others.

Seventh is “Communication” – be open, express freely ( more of positive statements ) like you love/ care him/ her every day. Marriage is not a Saving,s Bank A/c ( ek baar keh diya to life long hai!). It is a current A/c where one needs daily deposits ( of love, care , compassion etc) and withdrawals (of negativity, remorse, arguments etc..)

Eighth is ” Arguments “- Differences are bound to happen, key is learning to agree to disagree (My FPG,s favourite point), so that arguments metamorphosize into discussions.

Ninth is “Companionship”- Be united ( as one entity) in front of others even if there is disagreement at home (My FPG,s favourite point). Your togetherness is your strength which will keep ill wishers / home breakers at bay.

Last is “Appreciation” – Appreciate your spouse for his/ her unique identity. Don,t try to change. Appreciate for who they are. I read somewhere, you have accepted a rose …….and a rose can’t become a jasmine…. However hard you may try …. So, appreciate your mate .

“Marriage is like wine; becomes intense, aromatic and soul soothing with each passing moment”.

Coming back to the point, Lets, celebrate Karwa Chauth with pure love, bliss and dedication, for your husband with no analysis and conditions !

Women are creators of life and have immense power to nuture, protect and take care of their creations in various forms - mother, wife, sister, daughter..

I always feel" Women are far more superior then men " Not a lengthy essay to endorse my point -Just one line, God could trust only women and hence gave her the power to create". Think it over !!!!

May God bless you all in abundance.

With all my love and strength,

Juju

Yes, I am changing! An ode to creators of life

Yes, I am changing! An ode to creators of life

My dear children,

When I held you in my arms, my dear pink/blue ladoo,s and we made eye contact. Then, you smiled and wrapped your little fingers around my forefinger. At that very moment ....I changed.

Ambitious young girl was gone: A mother was born.

When you slept peacefully, to ensure you have uninterrupted sleep,

My clinking bangles were gone: A mother was born.

When you garlanded your arms around my neck, and said, Mummy, this necklace hurts me,

Heavy jewellery was gone: Tulsi mala was born.

When you pulled strands from my long black silky hair, played and pulled them umpteen times,

Long black tresses (my treasure!) was gone: girl with short hair was born

When you innocently remarked, mummy, embroidery / stone/ zari work in your dress cause rash,

Heavy dresses were gone: girl in fab india cotton kurti was born.

When you wanted to play with me, run around, do cycling etc,

High heels/platforms were gone: Girl in sneakers was born

When you played with my “ Shilpa bindi “ ( shilpa chaar chaand lagaye, remember the tagline in ad) and put in it your mouth,

Shilpa bindi was gone: kesar tilak was born

When you wanted to eat food- Indian, continental, south indian, Chinese

Free spirited mast girl was gone: Chef with multi-cuisine talent was born.

When you said, “ Mummy, when will you come home from work ? “

Professional, ambitious girl, slowed down(was not gone) : a mother was born .

All these thoughts churned in my mind last evening, as I was cleaning my cupboard and came across numerous hair clips, bangles, bindi,s etc, I stood frozen in time as flashback of 20 years quickly played in front

of my eyes. The girl who started on this journey 20 years ago and the girl (Soul never age, it,s only a physical change) who was looking at me in the mirror,

Are these two girls same?.

No! I have changed, rather changing for better.

Looking back, I felt contented with my two decades journey of pure bliss, happiness with ups and downs (definitely at times).

A wide smile came across my face.

Felt happy with the beautiful change.

My pink ladoo, left for college to pursue her dreams:

a writer was born........

Hurray ! Yippee!

Love,

Juju

Settle Down !?!?!?!?

Settle Down!?!?!?

When will you settle down ? It,s high time now!, please think of settling down , .....on and on...........

We keep hearing these phrases every now and then.

The whole concept of “settling down” is misleading. I think God never meant us to settle down. The very fact our heart, brain, stomach, every cell never settles down ever, till it is nurtured (i.e. gets oxygen and blood flow). Then, why should we settle down?

Do we ever settle down at cellular level ? No !!!!!!!!!

Right from the time, life enter a mother,s womb till the time we bid goodbye to out mortal physical form, we never settle.

Infact, we are God,s supreme work in continuous process of evolving and transforming (either for good or bad, can,t say, depends!)

As a beginner on this journey of schoolhouse planet Mother Earth, we think we will settle down after finishing our studies (seriously! Do we ?)

Maybe after marriage (Nope!), then we think we might settle down after being successful (doesn,t happen that way). Certainly after kids

(absolutely not ), Ok ! after the kids grow up ( Hmm! no way ).

Ok!! I rest my case.

Hey, wait! I know when we settle down.

Oh ! yeh ! great! Let,s all listen to this .

We settle down once our children get married.

(A deep laugh) Seriously! No way, we never settle down......

Life is not meant to settle down. Life is meant to live, to cherish,

to love, to explore, to wander, to learn, to unlearn, to rebel, to work,

to win, to lose, ( Please note , all this is in present tense as life is

what is happening RIGHT NOW !, no past, no future).

Even our ashes don,t settle down, they fly in all directions.

So, why should we ?

Open your arms and embrace LIFE.

Love,

Juju.