An Open Letter #Part 2

An Open Letter #Part 2

To,

Children of the Universe,

I can only try and understand what you are going through. I will not go into your life. Rather I want to give you a glimpse about my life at your age and maybe few years here and there.

Have you ever felt – “I am alone, I have no friends, I feel weird, I am always left out while other groups join in for fun, I feel like an outcast, My friends talk to me only when they need me, I am always available for my friends and not vice versa, My friends don’t reply to my text messages or see the messages and just ignore and the worst feeling is –I wish I was dead.

If the answer is yes, please proceed further. 

I was youngest of all siblings. My facial features were unlike others in my family, broad nose, chinky eyes and fair complexion. At times, I felt alien in my own family. My elder sisters were brilliant in studies and toppers of their class and sections. I was a jovial, naughty soul who studied what was required to pass with dignity. Teachers would come, ask me to stand up, with a questioning glance ask “Do you have the same genes like your elders siblings?” How come they are amongst the toppers and you are at the rear end. I could hear giggles of my classmates. Internally, I would cry and my tears would go through my nose into my throat.

In class seven I lost marks in Sanskrit term paper as I wrote something else than what was asked, There was a difference of one maatra which I didn’t see. When answer sheets were distributed, I took up the matter with the concerned teacher only to realize, I was a myopic. I got spectacles and was shy to wear. During our times, people were labeled as four eyed. People would mock and say, “You have four eyes, yet you didn’t see?” The stigma attached is much similar to body shaming in today times. I was so embarrassed and at times felt ashamed and outcast. There was no concept of rimless or fancy spectacles. So, what I got was a thick rimmed black spectacle. Thanks to one of my friends who encouraged me to wear it in class and complimented me. Later, I realized nobody was bothered about my looks. It was all in my mind.

Coming year, I got my tryst with orthodontist and had braces. Thanks to my parents who identified that I was shy while smiling and would place my right hand to cover my mouth while laughing or while clicking family pictures. And soon big metallic braces gleamed with pride for next two years. I always looked at other girls and thought I never fitted in. I was unlike other normal girls of my age groups who ever very feminine. There was constant comparison with my elder sister about my weight. The joke which went was, 2 years younger and 3 kg heavier. This particular joke lowered my self esteem for quite some time till I shed extra kilos after my tenth boards.

There was nepotism all throughout. Classmates who had their parents as teachers in our school were given most important roles and even during Assembly or school choir, I was never in front, always in the back, my mother had ingrained me about the importance of participation than being a winner or being in limelight. Once I was replaced form the post of Queen to a maid. There were times when my lengthy dialogues were cut to mono-syllables or just nods. I just kept on going. Thinking things would change post class tenth.

Classes 11^th & 12^th had different set of challenges. Competition, jealousy, trust issues, insecurities and fear of not being able to fit in the social mold and being missed out (now a day called FOMO.) This can go for few extra pages, 

I will conclude by sharing my coping mechanisms.

1)  Share with your parents especially mother. Get correct information from them rather than your peer group.

2) Make yourself a priorty and strive to become better. It should be ME Vs ME.

3)   When you feel engulfed by negative thoughts, the first best thing is to write it down. Then read what you have written and seek help accordingly.

4)   All flowers bloom in their own timeline. So, do not compare a lotus or a rose with a sunflower or a marigold. If you are not feeling 100% means your bloom time is still due.

5)  Inculcate the habit of praying to God. By assuming a folded hand pose, one surrenders to God. And God loves all his children fairly in same weighing balance. God has no favorites. Loving oneself is akin to loving God.

6)  Focus on your growth – your studies besides your health. Be so self caring that you become a power house of magnet. People will be attracted towards your magnetic personality

Finally, in college, I became a swan from an ugly duckling. Really ? No! it was all in my mind. I believe I am a limited edition soul # God’s favorite.

Appeal to children, to share their coping mechanisms as I did mine.

Love,

Juju’s Pearls.