3 in a relationship (marriage)!

Three in a relationship (marriage)!

Recently, there has been a rising trend in souring of relationships. The culprit is almost always the third entity in the relationship. It is very important to identify this.

I distinctly remember from an old interview of Late Princess Diana where she had said,” We were always three in a marriage. So, it was a bit crowded.” To my young mind as a student, these lines had a great impact. These two lines always come up whenever I hear about disturbed relationships.

The most common third entity nowadays is mobile phone. Let’s keep aside the new vocabulary terms-, ghosting, phubbing etc, associated with this. I feel this is the most powerful third entity.  Earlier, extra marital affairs were the leading cause of souring. Now a days, it's the affair with one’s own gadgets – mobile, television, laptops.

Gone are the days when couples/ families used to sit together, discuss about each other’s days. Now, everyone is engrossed in checking their mobiles. The neck is seldom raised even to look at the family person sitting right across. It’s always about utilizing every second, so much so that family/couple time is considered as mere wastage of time by majority. This has impacted in way beyond one can comprehend. 

Recently, one of my close associates, thought about kicking this third entity out of her relationship. So, they experimented on the morning tea by keeping their mobiles aside and not switching on the T.V. Initially, they found it very difficult to just sit together while having morning cup of tea. Internally, they felt it was a waste of time. They could have listened to news or checked their messages/emails to save time. They realized they had nothing to talk. Over next few days, they became impatient and tried to drink their tea in an ultra fast manner. By the end of first week, they decided to give up tea, as it was bad for health. The third entity had deep roots and poor tea was pronounced as the culprit and punished.

The same experiment was tried for meals - dinner time. The family had got used to eating separately. When they sat together in person without their gadgets, there was uneasiness and each one started finding flaws in the taste of meals, even the shape and softness of chapattis, crockery, even the fine dust on dining table There was impatience and each one decided to eat in their rooms. They had nothing to talk. Even the lady of the house thought, when her family ate in a fully attentive state, they found faults in almost everything. With their mobiles, they relish whatever is cooked and don’t complain. This experiment failed too.

Another experiment is under run -of going for couple walks and family walks. Each one has ear pods in place and seems to be happily walking. The moment the ear pod is out, the person stops walking. This reminds me of the famous dialogue from the film Sholay where Gabbar tells Basanti, “Jab tak tere pair chaleinge, tab tak iski saanse challeingi.”

Awaiting an update on this experiment. Pray it is successful. And proves humans are not slaves to social gadgets. Till then, do introspect and identify your third!

Family time happens only when there is no Wi-Fi or hotspot. I bless the electricity board in my area.

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Love,

Juju