Parent of an Average/ a Unique child !

Chapter 38 (edited), page 97 of my Debut Book - Momsie Popsie Diary Tea time chit chat on living life (Golden Book Awards 2023) Available as Paperback & e-book on Amazon and all e-commerce sites.

I often get asked, .... Your child must be good in maths, science, studies in general... 

I simply say no, he is not. My child is average.
Am I ashamed to say this?  Yes? No !

Should I be lying that he is the best in something which he is not, in front of others? Definitely No !

My child is that average child who people fail to notice either for not being at the top or being at the bottom. People fail to notice the sweet smile, funny talks, tight hugs, friendly personality, kind behavior, mild manners, helpful nature because he is JUST an average child. The school, society celebrates children who are top scorers or good in sports and extra-curricular, which rightfully they should. These celebrations have a short life span.

Amidst all this, my average child who is a spectator and cheers his friends with full heart goes unnoticed. His love for sports (even when he knows he is not going to be selected for school team) his love for music (even though he knows he is not going to be selected for school choir) never diminishes. He participates in all and does all this to enjoy it rather to compete.

Am I a parent, who is not strict with him for not scoring at the top. Yes, I used to be strict to an extent and have lost my cool many times in the past. However, I transformed when his words pierced through my every heart muscle. My 11 year old child asked, "Mom, do you not respect me for who am I "?

How many of us thought we should respect children?  We adults demand our respect each and every moment of our life. Why not a child? Among children preparing for JEE-IIT, NEET UG-MBBS from a tender age of 9-10 years (I feel it's cruel, akin to killing childhood in pursuit of trophy child competition), my average child is talking about traveling the world, meeting new people, reading new books of different genre's, tasting different cuisines, enjoying each day to the fullest and so on. 

My average child might or might not become a doctor, astronaut, scientist But he is sure to grow up to be a good person, who will spread cheer, happiness and positivity. 

Last but not least: a message for ONE and ALL

*Notice the average child. All that child wants is a smile or a kind word from us adults for just being their true self, and to give assurance to trust the world. 

Personally,  I believe there is no term as average. Each child is unique 

Please refrain from making Xerox copies of our own selves.
They are children of future.
For generations to evolve : let us help in maintaining their originality.

Each child is different, so is each parenting style. Lets preserve this, cherish and celebrate our unique child.

Love,
Juju 

Analogy for Relations

(Simple, kind way to save relations and stay strong)

·    *Inspired write up. Dedicated to Twinkle - my dear friend

It’s of utmost important to have a positive, motivating inner circle. Conversation with  such souls usually leaves one motivated, brimming with new recipes for My Mind’s Café.

A routine conversation drifted to maintaining relations, it’s importance and the best ways to handle them amicably.

I casually remarked, “Some relations are like bedsheets with manufacturing defects (In Hindi language we refer to it as kapde ke kaan hain). No matter how carefully you try to fold them neatly, one corner will always jutt out in the most obnoxious way giving it a very untidy look.”

Hearing this my friend laughed and said, “I look it from a different perspective. Some relations are like that subject in your school life, no matter how hard you study, try to revise, you never cross beyond 80 marks,” she remarked.

“That’s such a beautiful and an interesting analogy. Comparing a relation to a subject which is difficult or one dislikes, as it brings down your total aggregate (means your wholesome life.) Wow! Its so profound,” I replied.   

I continued, “It sounds funny too, to say my XY relation is like a Punjabi language for me. No matter how hard I try to learn, I can never cross 85 and it brings down my % from 99 to 96 %. If we delve into deeply, there is a hidden deep meaning,” I paused and thanked her.

Just as I have to study Punjabi, to be able to pass my class in school, similarly I need to work on that relation too in order to pass the class of life. 

She remarked on a lighter note, “Many of your blog write ups have churned from our talks. You owe me a treat.”

" Off course!, anytime, as always, " I chuckled. 

Please write in comments section about your views about this analogy.

Which subject is your relation, mine is Punjabi. Yours?

Love,

Juju

3 in a relationship (marriage)!

Three in a relationship (marriage)!

Recently, there has been a rising trend in souring of relationships. The culprit is almost always the third entity in the relationship. It is very important to identify this.

I distinctly remember from an old interview of Late Princess Diana where she had said,” We were always three in a marriage. So, it was a bit crowded.” To my young mind as a student, these lines had a great impact. These two lines always come up whenever I hear about disturbed relationships.

The most common third entity nowadays is mobile phone. Let’s keep aside the new vocabulary terms-, ghosting, phubbing etc, associated with this. I feel this is the most powerful third entity.  Earlier, extra marital affairs were the leading cause of souring. Now a days, it's the affair with one’s own gadgets – mobile, television, laptops.

Gone are the days when couples/ families used to sit together, discuss about each other’s days. Now, everyone is engrossed in checking their mobiles. The neck is seldom raised even to look at the family person sitting right across. It’s always about utilizing every second, so much so that family/couple time is considered as mere wastage of time by majority. This has impacted in way beyond one can comprehend. 

Recently, one of my close associates, thought about kicking this third entity out of her relationship. So, they experimented on the morning tea by keeping their mobiles aside and not switching on the T.V. Initially, they found it very difficult to just sit together while having morning cup of tea. Internally, they felt it was a waste of time. They could have listened to news or checked their messages/emails to save time. They realized they had nothing to talk. Over next few days, they became impatient and tried to drink their tea in an ultra fast manner. By the end of first week, they decided to give up tea, as it was bad for health. The third entity had deep roots and poor tea was pronounced as the culprit and punished.

The same experiment was tried for meals - dinner time. The family had got used to eating separately. When they sat together in person without their gadgets, there was uneasiness and each one started finding flaws in the taste of meals, even the shape and softness of chapattis, crockery, even the fine dust on dining table There was impatience and each one decided to eat in their rooms. They had nothing to talk. Even the lady of the house thought, when her family ate in a fully attentive state, they found faults in almost everything. With their mobiles, they relish whatever is cooked and don’t complain. This experiment failed too.

Another experiment is under run -of going for couple walks and family walks. Each one has ear pods in place and seems to be happily walking. The moment the ear pod is out, the person stops walking. This reminds me of the famous dialogue from the film Sholay where Gabbar tells Basanti, “Jab tak tere pair chaleinge, tab tak iski saanse challeingi.”

Awaiting an update on this experiment. Pray it is successful. And proves humans are not slaves to social gadgets. Till then, do introspect and identify your third!

Family time happens only when there is no Wi-Fi or hotspot. I bless the electricity board in my area.

Keep loving, keep caring.

Keep reading, keep sharing.

Please leave your comments 

Love,

Juju

Thank You Hong Kong!

Thank You Hong Kong!

Dear Readers,

From now, I have introduced a feature of gratitude write up to acknowledge and convey my heart felt thanks to my dear readers from the country which tops the list in a week.

Last two weeks have witnessed an exponential rise in my readers from a beautiful country Hong Kong. More than 90% of my readers are from Hong Kong. I have visited this country with my family and have fond memories. 

It would a great help, if my readers subscribe and can share their thoughts in the comments section- what did you like in my write ups or how it resonated with you.

Please feel free to mention your areas of interest, or topics you want to read either in comments section or via an email.

FYI (All my books are available in all formats (PB, HB, Audiobook) on all ecommerce sites as well as translation of Momsie Popsie Diary 2.0 Reimagining Life’s Tapestry in Filipino, French, Japanese and Italian in process.)

Let’s see which country tops the list next week.

Keep reading, Keep sharing.

Keep loving, Keep caring.

Love,

Juju.

 

 

Digital amnesia!

Hello beautiful souls, 

Whenever I face a writer's block, God shows his presence in various ways. My blog crosses 30500 views with a phenomenal reach of 1392 readers in March only. This week Hongkong tops with 87% readers followed by Singapore with 12%. 

Sharing a video on Digital amnesia as a stop gap in between before I bounce back.

https://youtu.be/k98nIgFzyM0?si=DuJbqxAEx6g8qQ7W 

Love 

Juju 

Spam the chat ! Is your message/chat taken as a spam ?

Hello beautiful souls,

From now on I am thinking of sharing my blogs and other activities on social media- WhatsApp status, Instagram and Facebook only. Please drop a "hello" if you want to receive as a personal message.

“Maa, are you spamming?” my little monk remarked when he saw me share my write up with my family, friends and colleagues.

“No, I am sharing the link for ease of the readers. In my circle, one finds it convenient to just click the link and read. It helps me in increasing my blog readership,” I calmly replied. 

“Maa, these days everyone’s phone gets loaded with so many greetings, shares and other messages every day. And it’s a humungous task to keep one's mobile memory space free. It takes time to transfer important images/ data into hard disk. It’s just like cleaning the house, cleaning one’s mind, thoughts etc. At times, important messages are missed. I fear your messages may be taken as spam,” he casually replied.

Now was the time to adorn my thinking cap yet again. I could clearly visualise as to what my little monk was trying to convey. In digital era, with fast paced lives, and limited time to self, I was contributing to the digital data load. Lot of time goes in archiving important messages, deleting others, clearing gallery, updating etc.

My intention has always been to create awareness about my mission and work. I believe my posts are positive and inspiring. Few souls may differ. In today’s world, everyone wants to have the sharing edge. Only your inner circle resonates with you. Suddenly, it was crystal clear. I believe in theory of Karma and try my best to keep my karmic account clear  

So, I decided to be more selective in sharing my activities and write ups.  Whenever I text message, I want to convey, that the concerned person is important and in my prayers.

From now on, I will share the link on social media and my selected group. If you are receiving my message, it means you have a special place in my life. 

I have done my part. Hope each one of us shares authentic messages, minimize data burden and keep karmic account clear.

Love,

Juju.

Book 22# Teenage Love Story Volume 1

 Hello Readers, 

My title Teenage Love Story Volume I is now live and available for purchase.

Sharing link 

https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/teenage-love-story-volume-i

Love, 

Juju 

ASD -The Ignored Ongoing Pandemic!

Attention Seeking Disorder!

(The Ignored Ongoing Pandemic)

 

For many people, receiving some level of attention – to a greater or lesser degree, depends on one’s individual personality – is a basically pleasurable experience. In general terms, being noticed can instinctively make people feel good, as it provides us with validation. However, when a person constantly craves the attention of others, and that need is affecting their thoughts, decisions and behaviour, they may be dealing with Attention Seeking Disorder (ASD), a part of spectrum of Histrionic Personality Disorder.

ASD is often viewed negatively, particularly when it comes from an adult. This affects relationships in all spheres – personal, professional and general. This stems from a range of factors, and can have a serious impact on the life of the person dealing with it, as well as those around them.

Ask yourself, do you know someone who is constantly fishing for compliments, or feel the need for recognition in order to be happy? Have you noticed something in your own behaviour that made you think, ‘do I have ASD?  It’s important to identify the red flags before it becomes problematic.  Let’s take a closer look at what ASD is -

In adults, Attention Seeking Disorder is defined as excessive and repeated attempts by an individual to make themselves the centre of attention; in other words, when a person constantly tries to direct other people’s focus toward themselves. It can be common for people around the individual to find them egotistical, an exhibitionist, or ‘a show-off’. This behaviour may occur consciously or unconsciously, depending on the individual nature of the case, but almost always manifest in efforts to gain admiration or validation in some way.

ASD is characterised by having its motivation rooted in jealousy, loneliness, or low levels of self-esteem. This is generally as a result of imbalanced or unhealthy emotional state, and they constantly feel the urge to receive attention and validation. This behaviour over an extended period can damage or destroy intimate relationships, and can cause rapid mood swings and emotional shifts.

Examples of Attention Seeking Behaviour

Though they are always driven at gaining the attention of other people, the behaviours associated with ASD can take many forms. Sometimes, it is clear to see. For example, a person making direct and inflammatory comments; at other times, the behaviour can be more subtle or difficult to identify. Sharing few common behaviours.

1)    Making deliberately provocative comments, with the person appearing to desire to make other people uncomfortable, or ‘push the boundary’

2)    Behaving in a controversial way, perhaps overt promiscuity or blatant exhibitionism, or other things that may be seen as ‘showing off’

3)    Constantly dragging the topic or focus of conversation back onto themselves

4)    Frequently boasting about their own actions, possessions, wealth or experiences.

5)    Behaving dramatically or tending to overblow negative experiences into complete disasters.

6)    Constantly blaming the other person for lack of empathy, understanding, love, care and making them feel responsible (akin to gas lighting and narcissist trait)

However, one must remember that some amount of attention seeking behaviour is normal, natural and a prime tendency. Humans are social creatures and a desire for validation is a natural emotional urge.

To be continued Part 2………

Till then identify the red flags.

Love,

Juju

JRC story -The Rise !

Dear readers,

Sharing story behind JRC Juju’s Reader Club ™

Mission: To Revive Book Reading Culture.

Logo message: Help others heal

Created as an online Club on November 5, 2020 in Covid times with the Aim of Helping others heal, helps in self-healing. Unburden your heart, mind and soul. Fill up your emotional saucer with happiness, positivity and peace. There are 620+ Online Members.

This became Offline Club: November 1, 2022 with 4 founder members - Dr. Reemanshu Bansal (Juju’s Pearls), Twinkle Gupta, Disha Katia, Dr. Neha Garg in hometown, Bathinda, Punjab India with 38 members. JRC meet is on 1st Tuesday every month (Timings: 6- 7 pm). Books of different genre are discussed.

JRC launched its dream project of “JRC Mobile Library” in collaboration with IRIA Punjab (Social Wing) & Goodwill Society regd. (Respected Shri K.K. Garg Uncleji- my guide/ friend /mentor in social work.)

A mobile library for children living in the slums. We have heard that books have wings. Now books have feet. Now Books reach the slums via Mobile Library. This runs every Thursday and has completed its 15^th visit run today. During each visit, some eatables like biscuits/ fruit -apple are given to children who are studying in the mobile evening school and are eager to issue books. With almighty blessings, children are taking very good care of the books and all books have been returned so far in good condition. There are 3 evening mobile schools under JRC wings.

You can help by donating kindergarten books/ picture books.

JRC Theme for the year 2023-24

“Let’s ignite the minds: before we light the diyas.”  

Be a part of the JRC movement!

Love,

Juju

 

 

AudioBook 19# The Echoes of Ages Volume 1

 Dear readers,

Please find the Google Play link to your Audio book which is now live.

You may share the same among your network accordingly ahead.

Title Name: Short stories by Juju's Pearls

Author Name: Juju's Pearls ( Dr. Reemanshu Bansal)

Audio Book Link on Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAECShnTG9M

Love 

Juju

AudioBook17# Stories from India season 4 Volume 1

 Dear readers ,

Please find the Google Play link to your Audio book which is now live.

You may share the same among your network accordingly ahead.

Title Name: Short stories by Juju's Pearls ( 4 stories)

Author Name: Juju's Pearls ( Dr. Reemanshu Bansal)

Audio Book Link on Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAECSBgBGgM

Love

Juju