Reader’s Choice Series # Children settled abroad- Part 1
Disclaimer: Sensitive topic with aim of
creating awareness. Any resemblance to any person or situation is purely
incidental. Reader’s discretion is respected.
Preface
I had gone to meet my
colleague to discuss a medical case. The conversation that followed was about
children leaving their parents and homeland for greener pastures, settling abroad.
Their parents are left behind waiting for them to return.
“I will make this place so comfortable for my child that
he will never ever think of leaving this place. After all I have build up this
huge empire for him. I will give him so many comforts, so that the thought of
leaving his homeland never occurs to him,” said a fellow colleague with a
smile. “Your children are finishing school. What have you decided for them?” He
picked up his tea cup and started sipping tea and urged me to take my cup too.
I sipped my tea in silence. I could see him getting
impatient and he remarked, “So, what is your plan to hold back your children
from going abroad?” I nodded my head, placed my cup on the table and said, “My children
will decide. My role as a parent is to support them and guide them. They should
be the script writer of their own life. It’s important for them to make their own
choices.”
My reply did not go down well with him. Unknowingly,
I had challenged his ego as a parent. He immediately replied, “Your way is not
practical, after all we are parents and it’s our duty to guide them. You are
about to create a big mistake.”I smiled and replied, “Exactly, as parents it’s
our duty to guide them and not control them. One should know the difference between
the two. Look, my monks have their independent mind and we as parents respect
their decisions.” He was taken aback and said, “Don’t you love them? How can
you do this?” I replied, “Obviously, I love them so I respect them.” Now I knew
I had to withdraw as this was taking shape of an argument than discussion. “Tomorrow,
if they say, they want to settle abroad, will you allow them?” he pestered. I
folded my hands and got from my chair to leave. He said, “Please don’t leave.
Let’s close it.”
I remembered story of King Suddhodana, leader of
Shakya clan, father of Prince Siddhartha who later became Gautam Buddha. At his
birth, it was predicted that the prince would either become a great world
monarch or a Buddha – a supremely enlightened teacher. The Brahmins told the
King that Siddhartha would become a ruler if he was kept away from outside world.
The rest everyone knows. Times have changed, great Kings and dynasties have
come and gone, humans have evolved. Yet, I could see the soul of King
Suddhodana in my reverend colleague. The greatest red flag here was the unseen
undue pressure of a parent/ father being imposed on the child. In addition, the
infra structure he was building and the money he was spending was again being
thrown on the young child’s shoulder. As if the child had asked for such a huge
white elephant (Here, referring to his workplace and finances.) Another red
signal was controlling nature of the parent. Why do we feel the urge to control?
I simply asked him, “Where are your parents?” He
replied, “Oh! They are in the village. We have huge land there and my parents
love their land and farming. In spite, of my repeated requests, they do not
wish to shift to city. They are in love with their rural life. If they are
happy, so am I,” he grinned as if he was the smartest and the most obedient
child on this planet.
“So, you left your motherland and shifted base to
city for a better life. Didn’t your parents object to this?” I casually
remarked. “Why will they? I know what I am doing. Besides, being a super specialist,
my growth is here in the city. My life will be ruined if I stay with my
parents.I want to live life on my own terms.” As he looked into my eyes, he
could read the questions which were churning in my mind. And his attitude softened.
To be continued………( Part 2)
Love,
Juju
2 comments:
Real life situation
Very nice
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