Hello readers ,
Sharing listing link of my 18th book
Those Broken Whispers Volume 1
This will be launched in Kolkata Literary Carnival KLC 24, January 13, 2024
It features my four short stories as first author.
https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/those-broken-whispers-volume-i
AudioBook will be launched soon.
Love
Juju.
Hello Readers,
Sharing excerpts from mail
Dear Juju's Pearls,
Congrats! Your title is now live and available for purchase. You may now make the announcement of the availability of your title among your network accordingly.
Please find the links to your title availability below,
Title Name - Momsie Popsie Diary 2.0 Filipino Version
Ukiyoto All Versions - https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/momsie-popsie-diary-2-0-filipino-version
Will be available in other channels gradually
Available as Paperback,
Hardback
Hardback Dust Jacket
Digital Flipbook
Please share with your Filipino friends.
Love
Juju
Dear Readers,
Sharing another story from my book number 18 ,Those Broken Whispers Volume 1- Physical Book Launch & Signing at Kolkata Literary Carnival (KLC) 2024, Day 2- 13th Jan'24
Pre-marital
counselling
Things I
want to fix in marriage.
This is the relationship which tops
the list in missing out spoken words thereby accumulating broken whispers.
“Marriages are made in heaven and
solemnized on Earth.”
If this is true then how come
marriages go sour? Why do many relationships become ugly. The most pious,
multi- faceted, bag full of emotions defines marriage. Even if we think we do
not expect from marriage, yet we do expect a word of praise or appreciation
from our spouse. After more than two decades living in my marriage household, I
take this opportunity to give voice to my broken whispers. Before these
whispers break me, I will break them and set myself free.
Girl is new in her in laws house.
She has been brought up in an entirely different way and has a mind of her own.
Time is required from both parties for adjustments. The onus is always on the
groom (boy) as the girl has followed him into this new household.
A briefing must be done by him about
the nature of members, their habits and triggering areas. Refrain from
comparing your wife with your mother or sisters. Please remember you have been
raised in this house and have spent your initial years with your family. This
doesn’t make them right and me wrong. Never leave your wife with your mother
for long. Chances are your own mother will fill her with negativity about you.
Mothers seldom like their son spending
time with their wives. Though in case of their own daughter, the story is exact
opposite. The boy should never criticize his wife with his parents for too
long. This creates space in the marriage, your personal and married life
becomes a subject of discussion.
Learn to love your wife, respect
your wife. A girl is treated in the household by the way her husband treats
her. Make your wife your priority. She should come before everything else. Same
holds true for husbands too. Give your spouse time to adjust a new individual
in their space. Differences are bound to happen as simple as one spouse likes
to keep toothpaste down while other like it upward. Give one another sufficient
time.
As a rule of thumb, never ever show
your displeasure whenever your wife wants to visit her parents. Please
understand she has spent her childhood. Overnight, she has to change her entire
environment.
One needs to give time to adjust . avoid praising someone else’s spouse in front of your own spouse.
This gives rise to unnecessary insecurity and disturbs harmony.
There are many things I wish I could
fix in this phase of married life. The comparison with your sisters, insulting
the stuff which comes from my parent’s side, disrespecting my parents to
doubting the authenticity of jewels given by my parents.
When your younger sister disposed
the photograph negatives of our honeymoon trip (our sole memory), nobody told
her she had done wrong. Her ego has always been bloated and given importance. I
would fix and get a lock for our room. Room was the only space I had for
initial decade. My room has been cleaned in my absence including my cupboards
and dressing table. Many a times, our room has been used as guest room. I want
to fix this Why can anyone use your sleeping space as a guest room?
On our wedding night, I waited for
you to enter the room but mother-in law sent your sisters who were too eager to
help me undress and change into nightwear. I wish we could have done this. You
don’t like when I speak with my parents or sisters!
The list is long and painful. Temper
tantrums, fight during meal times, hitting our children with the intention of
“If I hit your children, you feel more pain than if I hit you. To inflict pain,
it’s better to hit your children.” I could never understand whether children
were ours or mine?
As I walk down the memory lane, many
such incidents keep popping up. You were quite vocal of aborting my second
pregnancy as I had some complications causing absence from my work. In spite of
having a C section, your mother went on a holy trip to pay offering to God
leaving me alone with two children aged 6 years and 3 days old to handle the
house all by myself. Why no one, I mean either you or your father intervene? It
was always the same story that Mother in-law is stubborn and she doesn’t listen
to any person.
So many times, I was instructed to
cut short my trip to my parent’s house because of some emergency reason. Only
to come back early and learn the truth that your mother had to go for some
non-specific, routine ultra important trip and they needed someone to cook and
take care of the house. She gave be few thousand bucks for taking care of your
father, house in general and cooking. Thereby sending a message loud and clear that
the house belonged to her and I was only a guest.
I realize that I have crossed these
hurdles with courage and wisdom. At times, I feel there are many things which I
wish I could fix and at times, I feel this was my perception of right and wrong
which made by spouse seem like a torturer.
The last nail in the coffin was
untimely demise of my mother. You behaved coldly and remarked, “Everyone has to
go. This is the law of land, written in our scriptures. Yesterday was someone
else parents today yours, tomorrow someone else.” I was shattered by the cold
shoulder. You expressed hatred so much so that you skipped her Prayer meeting.
Here I want to stress for all new
generation entering into a matrimonial alliance that the thought “Marriage is
an Institution” is the eternal truth. It needs to be built up by both partners
on a foundation of respect, love and trust. If the foundation is strong, you
will weather all storms of indifferences.
One may feel, the onus is on the
groom, and it seems correct too. But one needs to remember that even for him,
it’s the first time. Many a times, boys do not get pre-marital counselling as
much is given to a girl. A balanced approach with good pre-marital counselling
is the need of the hour. So that we can have less of broken whispers and more
of happy souls.
Do leave your comments.
Love, Juju .
Are you present?
An impromptu write-up after a casual conversation with a learned parent.
I realized casual talks generates intense
neuronal exercise.
“So, how do you spend time with your wife
and children?”, I asked casually.
“Time! where is the time? I am so busy in
my work, thereafter meeting my friends and that’s it. Before I come to know, the
day gets over. By the time I reach home, I am too tired. I take dinner and
relax in my room,” was a prompt reply.
“Relax! sounds great. You must be talking to
your wife and sitting with your children to discuss about their day at school,
their studies etc,” I continued.
The reply was ready even before I could
complete. I could sense a tone of urgency and irritation. “I just said, I relax
in my room. Talking to my wife or spending time with children is equivalent to
adding more stress. I switch on my television and watch trending series on Netflix.
Then I go to sleep.”
“Oh! It’s nice to hear this. Sounds
perfect. But, don’t your wife and children complain?” I tried to navigate the conversation.
“I am working hard for them. It’s for
their future. You won’t understand the pressure to build up assets for children’s
future,” was a reply after a sigh.
I concluding by my last statement hoping
the message will be conveyed loud and clear, “Future? What about present? Are
you present in their present? To be present in future, one has to be present in
their children’s present.”
There was dead silence.
Hope each one understands this message / appeal.
Love,
Juju.
Cricket # A games that unites.
As always, the fever of Cricket world cup is spreading
like wild fire. With Virat Kohli creating history and India in finals, all
eyes, ears, all emotions are focused on the big day 19th November
2023.
I believe anything which binds all human beings together is a religion. In India, especially Cricket is one such sport. At
times many people feel, this is overrated, resulting in over shadowing of all other
major sports even including Hockey, Football.
Every Indian watching the match feels a sense of pride by
just devoting time from their busy schedule to watch the cricket match. Each person
is deeply connected with the game as if they are either on the field or in the
stand (entered via the digital cable.)
Every win is celebrated together, there is no discrimination
of caste, color or creed. In those moments, everyone becomes a true patriot with only
few questions on their lips, “What’s the score? “, “How many more runs are required?”
Each one understands the emotions of the person next to them. No words are
required, the silence speaks volumes.
On such occasions, there is only one strong force which
unites everyone. This in true sense is religion. Lets shift our orbit to the real forces and stop fighting with each other in the name of religion. Medicine is another magnanimous force
(will keep for another write up).
Love,
Juju.
Hello readers,
Sharing listing link of my 17th book , published by American Publisher. My 4 short stories have been honoured by being the first stories
Book launch at Kolkata Literary Carnival KLC 24 January 13,2024
Stories from India Season IV - Volume 1
Availability in all formats: https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/stories-from-india-season-iv-volume-i
https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/stories-from-india-season-iv-volume-i
Audiobook will be launched soon.
Love,
Juju
Sharing a short story from my collection, which is selected as the first story to be published, Book Launch, January 13th 2024 KLC 24 (Kolkata Literary Carnival 2024).
Marriage or scrutiny under a scanner 24 x 7
An open letter by daughter in-law to her mother in-law
Dear mother in-law,
(This is not a grievance letter. It’s my attempt to
help you understand our new relation)
Hope this finds you in good
health and a happy state of mind. Ever since I have got married to your son, I
have noticed a change in your attitude and behavior. Earlier you seemed very
welcoming and happy but now I sense a feel of insecurity. Do you see me as a
threat? I feel so. You seem to be critical about whatever I do or say especially
in relation to your son who is now my husband.
We both have a great thing
in common and that is love for the same man. I am not here to break ties of a
son from his mother. A son you have given birth to and raised him with your
heart and soul. I am here to make my own space as a wife and his life partner.
We are not opposite party and it’s not like a war situation where my intention
is to over throw you and capture the throne. Where is the throne? Rather who is
the throne? Do you consider your son as an object? Please do not burden him
like this. I have many aspirations and look forward to a peaceful, harmonious
married life. You leave no stone unturned in creating differences. You twist my
words and feed negativity about me. A mother has a big heart. All I am
requesting is to give me space and time to adjust in your family. I have come
from an entirely different background and culture. All this is new and very
different. I need time to unlearn and relearn.
Another request is to please
stop comparing me with your daughters. They are great as sister in-laws. Let me
build up a relation with them on one to one basis. Everything need not be
through you. You should be a secure, loving women (with everything in your name.) Then, why this insecurity? Please do not feed negative stories about me to my
husband. Most of the times, I never come to know why he is upset with me? I do
have noticed this pattern that after spending time with you and his siblings, he
always comes back disempowered with a volatile temperament
Please stop comparing me with other daughter in-laws in your friend’s circle. Each human being is different. This alliance happened because of mutual consent between the girl, the boy and their respective families. Then why I am perceived as a villain on mission to break this home!
Remember how you felt when
you got married. The onus is always on elders to make the house environment
comfortable for the new bride person. We need to work together to make this
work.
I have come as an adult in
your life unlike your children whom you have raised up. I don’t wish to be a daughter to you neither
do I want you to be my mother. Let’s respect this beautiful relation of mother
in-law and daughter in-law and work towards maintaining its sanctity.
Please communicate if you
disapprove of some actions or ways. If you don’t then how will I come to know?
We need to keep this communication gates open.
Lets pledge to contribute
and please do not compete with me.
Yours,
Daughter in-law
(Dignity & pride of household)
Sharing a short story from my collection, which is selected as the first story to be published in a book to be launched at upcoming KLC 24 (Kolkata Literary Carnival 2024, Kolkata)
Reset Humanity!
What every mother should teach her son.
Woman is the most powerful person on this planet
Earth. The one with the womb is God’s favourite and rules the planet. In
raising children, boys are seldom involved in household chores. A child should
be brought up like a child and not son or daughter.
Every parent should remember to inculcate basic moral
values in both daughter and son.
A son should be taught to respect woman as a human
being. Woman should not be objectified. A daughter should be taught to take a
stand for her own self. Parents play the vital role. I am highlighting two
scenarios of two houses.
Case Scenario 1
Typical patriarchal family, where man dominates and
woman is expected to be submissive. The father hurls abuse at his wife, shouts,
screams, disrespects and even raises his hand on her. The roles are distinctly
divided. Cooking, washing, cleaning, looking after the house, in-laws, aged
parents etc are wife’s duty. The man goes out to earn. That’s all! When he
returns home, he expects to be pampered with love and care and does not
contribute in the household work.
Children of such parents passively learn this. This
has been happening since ages and women are made to work like animals for free
in the name of looking after the household. His wife silently bears this
torture.
In such a scenario, these parents are sending a strong
message to their children. To their son, the message is loud and clear –that
it’s perfectly ok to ill treat and disrespect woman. And to their daughter, the
message is – in a married life, a woman is expected to do as her man says and should
happily bear the torture and abuse at all levels – mental, physical and
emotional.
Usually, in her defence, the woman sums up by saying, “The
abuse of her husband is like prasad from God.”
Case Scenario 2
Educated family where both husband and wife live and
work like partners. They contribute in running the household. They have all the
chores divided. There is nothing like a man’s job or a women’s job. Children of
such parents have seen their father doing cleaning, cooking, washing utensils,
doing laundry helping their mother at all levels. Since, childhood, their
mindset is tuned to respect each other as human beings and to contribute.
In such a scenario, these parents are sending a strong
message to their children regarding marriage as an institution which is built
by both partners in a loving, caring way. The woman as such is never
objectified. To their children, the message is loud and clear. Running a
household is duty of both partners. One should contribute in this as the goal
is same to build a happy, harmonious place to live and enjoy. Children of such
households are usually balanced and respect their partners.
Problem usually happens when children from one
scenario find themselves in another.
As a rule of thumb, the mother should cultivate the
habit of respecting girls and women in her son. The disrespect should never be
ignored or justified. Be it with his sister, helper or mother herself. Care at such
basic level ensures proper instillation of moral values in the son.
If each parent, especially mother pledges this,
humanity can be reset in a very short span of time.
*PRESS RELEASE : THE AUTHORS OF THE 10 BEST BOOKS OF 2023*💫
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With Regards,
Team ELYSIANPENS
Cheers! Welcome to the season of festivals.
Sharing a recent incidence which brought out my thinking
cap from the closet. I was invited for
an Expert talk at a reputed college. I had to address around 150 girls all
pursuing their Bachelors in Science.
My topic was Unlocking Potential: Fostering Women’s
Empowerment and well-being for a Balance Tomorrow. It was a great interactive
session with enthusiastic participation from the girls.
While walking back to the Dean’s office, Dean asked, “Where
do you live mam?” I answered promptly, “With my in laws in their house.”
He smiled and reverted, “So, your in-laws stay with you?”
I clarified, “No Sir! I stay in my in-law’s house.”
He smiled and said, “It’s one and the same madam. Your in-laws
are staying with you or you are staying with them.”
I smiled and repeated my earlier statement , “Sir, its’s not the
same. This is one of the main reasons for disharmony in many households. Give
it a thought. I am very clear in what I think and what I say.”
Suddenly, his face lit up and he replied, “Never thought
of this way. We will like to have you more often in our university.”
I nodded in affirmation. While riding back home, a
thought came as to where was my place? Did I actually belong here? It’s either
in-laws house or husband’s house? I couldn’t see myself in this whole
picture of two decades of my life, my entire youth. The only place I could call mine was my
parental place where I was born and brought up. With changing times, this
feeling too seemed to be fading away.
I snapped my fingers, pinched myself, to give a reality
check. We all are temporary on this planet Earth. We do not belong here for
eternity. So, why to get into this vicious cycle of my house, my place, my …
etc etc. I looked up to the vast sky, could feel my Momsie’s blessings. Peace prevailed.
Leaving with a food for thought –
“In this temporary life, why does one’s heart yearn for a permanent
place to stay?”
Love,
Juju
Almost each one of us must have come across this while shopping, instead of coin change, the shopkeeper hands over a toffee worth Rs 1 or a chocolate worth Rs 5.
I refer to this as enforced buying. This behaviour irks my conscience at times. Many a times, I ignore and give these candies to my staff or patients.
It's a morning ritual in almost every household to buy milk. I usually try to tender exact amount to my helper who goes to buy milk packets.
Till few months ago, the price was a whole number so there was never a issue of money return. Ever since, Amul milk price increased to Rs 66 per litre, the problem has started cropping up.
In last two days, our local milk vendor gave an Alpenliebe candy as Rs 1 exchange. This happened twice and I knew I had to nip the evil in the bud. After getting two alpenlibe candies, I decided to give the shopkeeper a taste of his own medicine.
Today morning, I gave Rs 130 plus 2 Alpenliebe candies for two litres of milk ( total Rs 132). The shopkeeper understood and commented, " From next time I will never give a candy in place of Rs 1."
Mission accomplished, message conveyed.
Few years ago, I had used Diary milk chocolate worth Rs 5 in similar way to convey the message. It worked.
How do you deal with this? Please write in comments section.
Love
Juju.
Metaphors # Bank terminology God created humans in all shapes and sizes with unique metabolisms. There are some who gain weight at a bullet...