I wish I was on the other side of phone !
While talking to an old friend, our conversation
drifted to the foundation of marriage. She remarked, “One has to give in a lot
in a marriage to make it work.” I was surprised by this remark of give in . I replied,
“In a marriage, both partners need to build it up. So, we use the word institution.
It is not a sphere where one needs to give in or take out. If one feels one is
giving in, then the expectations arise. Only when we build it together, do we realize
the true essence of it. ”
These words knocked her out. I could hear silence. I
patiently waited for her to come to present. In a couple of seconds, I could
hear her hello and we were back on our track. With a feeling of giving in, one
has an unseen baggage of expectations whereas in building up, one always
strives to give their best without any returns. All the old sayings have deep
meanings, although generations have lost on the actual meaning and just clanged
on to phrases.
Our conversation steered towards a situation when
one spouse takes the other for granted. This seemed to touch my friend’s
Achilles point. Her voice quivered as she said, “How I wish I am always on the
other side of my husband’s phone!” There was a pause and a palpable silence. I
waited for her to continue. She sighed deeply and continued, “My husband is
always talks politely to people who call him. And when it comes to me, he
always talks in an arrogant, rude tone. I feel it’s best if we talk on the
phone.”
This is a very common human behavior to be in their
best form when they talk to people outside their home boundaries. When it comes
to people living in the house, the tone is usually hurried, annoyed, arrogant
or angry. To be the best for the rest! Is how I put it? My friend seemed to enter
her shell and abruptly ended the conversation.
After a long time, I adorn my thinking cap. How
ironical! One works for his family’s comfort and when time comes to spending
time with them, there is always a paucity of time or patience. I am leaving
this without a concluding remark as each one has to write his/ her own.
Time to introspect, in a pursuit to make a living for
people close to us, one tends to get closer to people outside leading to
creation of gaps in families.
Please mind the gap and try your best to fill it or let
it not happen in the first place.
Love,
Juju