Three in a relationship (marriage)!
Recently, there
has been a rising trend in souring of relationships. The culprit is almost always the third
entity in the relationship. It is very important to identify this.
I distinctly
remember from an old interview of Late Princess Diana where she had said,” We
were always three in a marriage. So, it was a bit crowded.” To my young mind as a student, these lines had a great impact. These two lines
always come up whenever I hear about disturbed relationships.
The most common
third entity nowadays is mobile phone. Let’s keep aside the new vocabulary
terms-, ghosting, phubbing etc, associated with this. I feel this is the most powerful third entity. Earlier, extra marital affairs were the leading cause of souring. Now a days, it's the affair with one’s own gadgets – mobile, television, laptops.
Gone are the days
when couples/ families used to sit together, discuss about each other’s days.
Now, everyone is engrossed in checking their mobiles. The neck is seldom raised
even to look at the family person sitting right across. It’s always about
utilizing every second, so much so that family/couple time is considered
as mere wastage of time by majority. This has impacted in way beyond one can comprehend.
Recently, one of
my close associates, thought about kicking this third entity out of her relationship. So, they experimented on the morning tea by keeping their mobiles aside and not switching on the T.V. Initially, they found it very difficult to just sit together while
having morning cup of tea. Internally, they felt it was a waste of time. They
could have listened to news or checked their messages/emails to
save time. They realized they had nothing to talk. Over next few days, they
became impatient and tried to drink their tea in an ultra fast manner. By the
end of first week, they decided to give up tea, as it was bad for health. The third entity
had deep roots and poor tea was pronounced as the culprit and punished.
The same experiment
was tried for meals - dinner time. The family had got used to eating separately. When
they sat together in person without their gadgets, there was uneasiness and
each one started finding flaws in the taste of meals, even the shape and softness of chapattis, crockery, even the fine dust on dining table There was impatience and each one decided
to eat in their rooms. They had nothing to talk. Even the lady of the house thought, when her family ate in a fully attentive state, they found faults in
almost everything. With their mobiles, they relish whatever is cooked and don’t
complain. This experiment failed too.
Another experiment is under run -of going for couple walks and family walks. Each one has ear
pods in place and seems to be happily walking. The moment the ear pod is out, the person
stops walking. This reminds me of the famous dialogue from the film Sholay where
Gabbar tells Basanti, “Jab tak tere pair chaleinge, tab tak iski saanse
challeingi.”
Awaiting an update on this experiment. Pray it is successful. And proves humans are not slaves to social gadgets. Till then, do introspect and identify your third!
Family time
happens only when there is no Wi-Fi or hotspot. I bless the electricity board
in my area.
Keep loving, keep
caring.
Keep reading, keep
sharing.
Please leave your comments
Love,
Juju