Ahoi Ashtmi –Prayer for her creation - Part 1
Ahoi Ashtami –Prayer for her creation - Part 1
A routine casual good morning greeting to my daughter (who is in hostel) led to this write up when my daughter remarked, “Mummy! if you are observing this fast for our well being then, we should also keep a fast for our parents well being.”
Ahoi Ashtami celebrated on the eighth day from Poornima and week prior to Diwali i.e. Amavasya, falls on the same day as Diwali. As compared to “Karva Chauth” the enthusiasm and commercialization of this festival are to a far lesser degree may be minimal (my feeling, not intended to hurt anyone,s sentiments). for me, observing this fast is much more than a ritual. I penned down a few thoughts which crossed my mind for an effective parent-child relationship.
Communication: We are not born as parents. As we are on this journey of teaching our children; similarly our children teach us how to become effective parents. As my FPG says, effective communication is a key and this key should keep the communication door unlocked at all times. Listen to your child.
Love: Love never spoils: it always nurtures. Give unconditional love to your child. Such children are emotionally stable and decision-makers.
Time: Give your child ample time, whenever ( might be difficult for working parents ) but ensure you spend quality time or have coping mechanisms so that a child feels parents are approachable at all times.
No substitutes: Never give materialistic things as a substitute for your time. It,s a child's right to spend time with parents. In working couples, the help of grandparents should be sought.
Faith: Have faith and trust in your own child. Always believe what your child says ( more so in front of other,s). A child should have complete faith that his/her parents believe him/her
Balance: strike a balance between parents, when one parent gets angry, ensure the other parent is compassionate. A child should always have one parent for comfort.
Criticism: Never criticize your child in front of others, or his friends. Many people don,t even know the difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Ensure as a parent that you follow constructive criticism only.
Don,t glorify yourself: As a parent, we normally tell stories about our academic excellence or our success stories only. We all know that everyone has failures as well as successes. There can never be only successes. We should talk about hard times and failures too. Don't, glorify yourself in front of your children. Behave like normal human beings who do things wrong and there,s nothing wrong in it.
Answer your child,s queries. My FPG,s favorite words, if you don't satisfy your child,s query, they will try to gain information from other sources (friends, internet, etc) which may not be appropriate. So, try your level best to quench their thirst.
The joy of giving: Teach your child the joy of giving by involving them in charity works and make them conditioned to this thought process of “What I can do to make things better or what can I contribute ?” .With the new academic year, ask them to keep books, bags, stationery, clothes aside to be given to needy. Charity begins at home. Give things to your helpers.
There are many more. Each day I learn new things from my little monks. My favorite pet lines which my children have heard umpteen number of times. There is nothing like a pass or fail Only result. There is no success or failure: Only experience. You are not your marks, NEVER! never associate yourself with your marks. Everyone is living in their own time zones. So go at your own pace, don,t speed up or follow others as it will lead to accidents.
As of now, I am signing off with a promise to write a sequel to this.
Love,
Juju
A routine casual good morning greeting to my daughter (who is in hostel) led to this write up when my daughter remarked, “Mummy! if you are observing this fast for our well being then, we should also keep a fast for our parents well being.”
Ahoi Ashtami celebrated on the eighth day from Poornima and week prior to Diwali i.e. Amavasya, falls on the same day as Diwali. As compared to “Karva Chauth” the enthusiasm and commercialization of this festival are to a far lesser degree may be minimal (my feeling, not intended to hurt anyone,s sentiments). for me, observing this fast is much more than a ritual. I penned down a few thoughts which crossed my mind for an effective parent-child relationship.
Communication: We are not born as parents. As we are on this journey of teaching our children; similarly our children teach us how to become effective parents. As my FPG says, effective communication is a key and this key should keep the communication door unlocked at all times. Listen to your child.
Love: Love never spoils: it always nurtures. Give unconditional love to your child. Such children are emotionally stable and decision-makers.
Time: Give your child ample time, whenever ( might be difficult for working parents ) but ensure you spend quality time or have coping mechanisms so that a child feels parents are approachable at all times.
No substitutes: Never give materialistic things as a substitute for your time. It,s a child's right to spend time with parents. In working couples, the help of grandparents should be sought.
Faith: Have faith and trust in your own child. Always believe what your child says ( more so in front of other,s). A child should have complete faith that his/her parents believe him/her
Balance: strike a balance between parents, when one parent gets angry, ensure the other parent is compassionate. A child should always have one parent for comfort.
Criticism: Never criticize your child in front of others, or his friends. Many people don,t even know the difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Ensure as a parent that you follow constructive criticism only.
Don,t glorify yourself: As a parent, we normally tell stories about our academic excellence or our success stories only. We all know that everyone has failures as well as successes. There can never be only successes. We should talk about hard times and failures too. Don't, glorify yourself in front of your children. Behave like normal human beings who do things wrong and there,s nothing wrong in it.
Answer your child,s queries. My FPG,s favorite words, if you don't satisfy your child,s query, they will try to gain information from other sources (friends, internet, etc) which may not be appropriate. So, try your level best to quench their thirst.
The joy of giving: Teach your child the joy of giving by involving them in charity works and make them conditioned to this thought process of “What I can do to make things better or what can I contribute ?” .With the new academic year, ask them to keep books, bags, stationery, clothes aside to be given to needy. Charity begins at home. Give things to your helpers.
There are many more. Each day I learn new things from my little monks. My favorite pet lines which my children have heard umpteen number of times. There is nothing like a pass or fail Only result. There is no success or failure: Only experience. You are not your marks, NEVER! never associate yourself with your marks. Everyone is living in their own time zones. So go at your own pace, don,t speed up or follow others as it will lead to accidents.
As of now, I am signing off with a promise to write a sequel to this.
Love,
Juju
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