WBF2023#Video Clip# PR coverage

Dear Readers,

Please find below the link for the video clip for PR Coverage at the World Book Fair, 25th Feb -5th March, 2023, Pragati Maidan, New Delhi. 

https://www.facebook.com/ukiyotopublishing/videos/170127719131790

Keep loving, keep caring,

Keep reading, Keep sharing

Thanks and Regards,

Juju' s Pearls 

Reader’s Choice Series # Children settled abroad- Part 2

Reader’s Choice Series # Children settled abroad- Part 2

Disclaimer:  Sensitive topic with aim of creating awareness. Any resemblance to any person or situation is purely incidental. Reader’s discretion is respected.

Preface: I had gone to meet my colleague to discuss a medical case. The conversation that followed was about children leaving their parents and homeland for greener pastures, settling abroad. Their parents are left behind waiting for them to return.

Every person wishes for a life based on his/her own choices. Where there is a choice, there is no place of regret. This write up request is by a special reader who has been a witness of my journey in literary world. In relationships, it’s always about understanding the other person’s perspective. There are numerous reasons as to why children settle abroad. In many cases, children want their parents to be with them too. However, parents do not want to leave their comfort zone. Do not blame your children for leaving their motherland. Parents don’t play victim card or go in sympathy mode.

Many of you may have different views, all opinions are respected. We are trying to analyze and understand this. Like one of my friend’s child says, “Maa, don’t start off with your Baghbaan.” (For those who are unaware, Baghbaan is an Amitabh Bachchan starrer hit movie where children don’t care for their parents in their post retirement phase and misbehave). For ease of understanding, I am sharing few key points for both parents as well as children. One cannot generalize, exceptions will be there. Be wise to pick, choose, edit, delete and add (T&C apply).

For Parents:

1) Children observe and absorb our actions more than our words.

2) Always praise your child and avoid criticism. Never make your child feel incompetent or small.

3) Refrain from these emotional blackmail statements,  “I am your parent, I know the best, ” “ I have done so many sacrifices for you”, “I have worked very hard to provide you a good education and environment ,” “I have built up so many assets that you need not work,” etc.

4)  How you behave with your parents will lay a foundation of how your children will behave with you in your old age.

5)  Remember you are not doing any favor; you are doing your duty as a parent.

6)  One of the most important thing is (it’s for men) -how you treat your wife. The best way to love your children is by loving and respecting their mother.

7)  Listen to your child, understand their needs and support them.

8)  The asset you are planning to leave after your death, please give them when they need. As parent, you are failing in your duty, if your child takes a loan and you just sit and talk about your empire. If they can’t use when they need, it’s of little use afterwards too.

9)  Stop sharing your success stories only, do share your mistakes and failures too.

10) Most important, keep the communication path open. Do not go overboard.

11) Prepare them for the road ahead. Do not prepare the road for them.

12) Once in a while, pause! Remember you were once their age,  how your parents behaved and the impressions you made and carried in life.

13) Have faith in your upbringing and trust your children. Don’t jump to conclusions.

14) Don’t feel insecure and be wise enough to step down from your throne at the right time and crown your Prince/Princess.

For Children

1)  Respect your parents and express your love on regular basis. As you grow into an adult, your parents are marching towards old age.

2)  Involve your parents in your plans and activities.

3)  Always keep in mind that your parents are your well wishers, most safe and secure space (exceptions are always there).

4)  Help them understand your decisions and make appropriate arrangements for them while you are away. Build a secure circle of friends and neighbours in case of emergency.

5) Never ever stop talking to your parents. Keep the communication channel open always.

6)  Make sure your children connect with their grandparents. Ensure enough calls – phone / video and physical trips to hometown (as per your financial strength).

7) Do call them regularly as these calls act like immunity boosters and escalate their self-confidence and esteem.

8) Remember, soul never ages, only the body ages. Make them feel important and never let them feel redundant. Ask your mother to cook your favorite meals/ tea once in a while. Ask your father to get your favourite things from market ( just like when you were a child)

9)  Most important- Hug your parents in a tight embrace. Such hugs have a positive effect on their cardiac health. That feeling of hearing your child’s heart beating close to your heart is priceless.

10) Visit them while they are healthy and create memories to be cherished.

There is no rule book as it varies from person to person.

My summation is –If your child plans to settle abroad, please support and don’t make them feel guilty.  Support them in living their dreams.

 

Love,

Juju

Reader’s Choice Series # Children settled abroad- Part 1

Reader’s Choice Series # Children settled abroad- Part 1

Disclaimer:  Sensitive topic with aim of creating awareness. Any resemblance to any person or situation is purely incidental. Reader’s discretion is respected.

Preface

I had gone to meet my colleague to discuss a medical case. The conversation that followed was about children leaving their parents and homeland for greener pastures, settling abroad. Their parents are left behind waiting for them to return.

“I will make this place so comfortable for my child that he will never ever think of leaving this place. After all I have build up this huge empire for him. I will give him so many comforts, so that the thought of leaving his homeland never occurs to him,” said a fellow colleague with a smile. “Your children are finishing school. What have you decided for them?” He picked up his tea cup and started sipping tea and urged me to take my cup too.  

I sipped my tea in silence. I could see him getting impatient and he remarked, “So, what is your plan to hold back your children from going abroad?” I nodded my head, placed my cup on the table and said, “My children will decide. My role as a parent is to support them and guide them. They should be the script writer of their own life. It’s important for them to make their own choices.”

My reply did not go down well with him. Unknowingly, I had challenged his ego as a parent. He immediately replied, “Your way is not practical, after all we are parents and it’s our duty to guide them. You are about to create a big mistake.”I smiled and replied, “Exactly, as parents it’s our duty to guide them and not control them. One should know the difference between the two. Look, my monks have their independent mind and we as parents respect their decisions.” He was taken aback and said, “Don’t you love them? How can you do this?” I replied, “Obviously, I love them so I respect them.” Now I knew I had to withdraw as this was taking shape of an argument than discussion. “Tomorrow, if they say, they want to settle abroad, will you allow them?” he pestered. I folded my hands and got from my chair to leave. He said, “Please don’t leave. Let’s close it.”

I remembered story of King Suddhodana, leader of Shakya clan, father of Prince Siddhartha who later became Gautam Buddha. At his birth, it was predicted that the prince would either become a great world monarch or a Buddha – a supremely enlightened teacher. The Brahmins told the King that Siddhartha would become a ruler if he was kept away from outside world. The rest everyone knows. Times have changed, great Kings and dynasties have come and gone, humans have evolved. Yet, I could see the soul of King Suddhodana in my reverend colleague. The greatest red flag here was the unseen undue pressure of a parent/ father being imposed on the child. In addition, the infra structure he was building and the money he was spending was again being thrown on the young child’s shoulder. As if the child had asked for such a huge white elephant (Here, referring to his workplace and finances.) Another red signal was controlling nature of the parent. Why do we feel the urge to control?  

I simply asked him, “Where are your parents?” He replied, “Oh! They are in the village. We have huge land there and my parents love their land and farming. In spite, of my repeated requests, they do not wish to shift to city. They are in love with their rural life. If they are happy, so am I,” he grinned as if he was the smartest and the most obedient child on this planet.

“So, you left your motherland and shifted base to city for a better life. Didn’t your parents object to this?” I casually remarked. “Why will they? I know what I am doing. Besides, being a super specialist, my growth is here in the city. My life will be ruined if I stay with my parents.I want to live life on my own terms.”  As he looked into my eyes, he could read the questions which were churning in my mind. And his attitude softened.

To be continued………( Part 2) 

Love,

Juju

Reader’s Choice Series # Children are separate units!

Reader’s Choice Series # Children are separate units!

Disclaimer:  Sensitive topic with aim of creating awareness. Any resemblance to any person or situation is purely incidental. Reader’s discretion is respected.

A recent conversation with a young man of thirty years with fifty years of life’s experience sparked this. He is a man of profound wisdom and believes in children being independent units, be it son or daughter. All of us start life as an individual and expand our circle as we grow up. Once married, the journey of separate unit kick starts. This person is truly broad minded as he speaks about children with no gender difference tags.

Let us clearly understand the very essence of human life. Life starts from a single or an individual cell and then it multiplies and takes a form. Once the cord is cut, the new born baby becomes separate/independent. As parents we nurture them, love them and try to give the best environment to grow up as per one’s capabilities. This love is pure and unconditional. However, deep inside as a parent one should always remember, children will move ahead in life.

This is the law of nature. Children do not belong to us. They are children of the future. Parents are via medium for them to start their journey on this blue planet. They are individual or separate units. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a son or a daughter. Both are separate units.

Tree and plants nurture flowers and fruits. Once they are ripe, fruits are plucked and same is for flowers. Have you observed, if one doesn’t pluck the fruits once ripe or flowers in their bloom? They tend to wither even though, they are still firmly attached to their parent plant. The parent plant/tree which nourished the fruit/ flower is unable to continue the same process. Why does this happen?  The answer lies in this law of nature. Every single life on this planet has a purpose. Once that is achieved, life has to leave for higher journey.

The awareness, I want to create is about our children being individual units. We have grown on this thought process of daughters as separate units (In majority of households still they are brought up with this mindset.) A daughter who is married seems like a threat to the same household where she was born and brought up. Why is it so that our trust dwindles? Is it because she becomes a separate unit or is it about the man she is married to? On the contrary, one tends to consider son as a common unit or maybe an extension. His wife seems less threatening.

We need to stop and rethink- Do we need women empowerment or it’s the other way round. Women are already an empowered species. The need of hour is educating men on how to handle their powerful counter parts. Male and female are two sides of the same coin created by God. They can never be compared. Both are unique with individuality of their own.

Let’s stop competing and start contributing. Embrace life with open arms and cherish it while the heart is beating and breath is moving.

Love,

Juju

No one to call/share! Do you feel so?

No one to call/share! Do you feel so?

There are times when one feels lonely and there is no one to open one’s heart to talk. Each one of us must have been in this boat at one point or another. When the heart is full and yeans for an outlet, the road ahead seems dark and lonely. The air feels alien and the mind does a mental contact check with speed of light. Somehow that one contact doesn’t get shortlisted.

During such times, in my experience, the best strategy is to either write down what one wants to talk about or else sit in meditative posture and initiate talk with almighty. God is our supreme parent. Though, we come in this world through our biological parents. This is the ultimate truth. Sitting in silence helps as silence requires immense power.

Prior to this practice, I used to search for the right person for days with no positive outcome. Most of the time, we know the answers. We yearn to be listened to in an unconditional manner. After my Momsie crossed into another realm, I felt lost in this huge world. There were humans everywhere but not a single soul to connect. My search led me inside, towards the age old wisdom - Seek solace in almighty and befriend him.

I always remember my Popsie’s golden words, “I am never alone. It’s always God and me, the two of us.” Initially, I (rather all of us) used to think, he is faking it to avoid further discussion about being alone after my Momsie. Gradually, it dawned he meant it. One can be alone and not lonely. There is a huge difference between the two.

I have started practicing this theory and believe, “God is only a thought away. Parents are a call away. ” Decide for yourself who is closer? All that we seek outside is already within us. It’s time to steer one’s wheel, from outside to inside.

Happy steering, happy living, unburden your soul for life doesn’t take us seriously.

Love,

Juju

 

Are you phub-bing?# Word is World Sequel

  "phub·bing

the practice of ignoring one's companion or companions in order to pay attention to one's phone or other mobile device."

This word (new to me) and it's meaning is a true reflection of current scenario. Our vocabulary is increasing exponentially to accomodate our associated behavioural changes in this ever evolving world heading towards digitilization.

Phone snubbing is phubbing. It tends to be rude and inconsiderate behaviour. There are other gadgets too - TV, laptops. Just wondering whether we will have these new words soon - TV-ubbing, Lap-ubbing etc. Not to forget social media too- Insta-ubbing.

Feeling bemused by this advancement, where the darker side of human nature has dedicated words to it's credit.

Time to keep one's mind open in this fast paced evolving world.  The way this world is moving, I fear soon we will have this new word- 

nat-ubbing # nature snubbing. It gives me goose bumps to think what will be the consequences if nature starts ignoring humans -it's companion. 

Time to pause and think! Is this true modernization? In today's time, one has invested more faith in robots than the creator # humans. Robots are being made incharge in many fields. Work is going on in decision making power and emotions too. 

Pray we stay away from phubbing and all words with suffix " ubbing."

Choose your words carefully. As what you are not changing, you are choosing.

Happy reading, happy sharing.

Love,

Juju.

 

Book Review: Life A lemonade.

Book Review: Life A lemonade.

My dear readers,

On a mission to review book reading culture, I am sharing a book review, written by Dr. Diptimala Agarwal. Wishing her enough luck and sales for her book "Life A Lemonade." Sharing book review and the links. 

Book Review:

This book is Author's sincere attempt to share her learning’s from friend's lives. Her writing style is lucid. One connects with the word Sakhi and can relate well with the stories which give a strong message - Never give up. If life throws stones, use it as paperweight, if life throws roses, adorn in your hair, if lemons make Lemonade. Life is indeed bitter sweet and 99% how we take it. I will describe it as 26 shades of inspiring feminine lives. A light travel read/ weekend read. Do buy if you want your inspiration dose.

INDIAN LINKS:

Good Writers:  https://www.goodwriters.in/product/life-a-lemonade/

Amazon:https://www.amazon.in/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSN88LND/

Flipkart: https://www.flipkart.com/life-a-lemonade/p/itme8c26865c4742?pid=RBKGMF5W6JXGJBGK

 

EBOOK LINKS:

Kindle (India): https://www.amazon.in/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

Playstore: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=VjuoEAAAQBAJ

 

Google Books: https://www.google.co.in/books/edition/Life_A_Lemonade/VjuoEAAAQBAJ?hl=en

 

INTERNATIONAL PAPERBACK (Via INGRAM)

America: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSJFZC9R/

 

United Kingdom: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSJFZC9R/

 

France: https://www.amazon.fr/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSJFZC9R/

 

Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSJFZC9R/

 

Australia:  https://www.amazon.com.au/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal/dp/B0BSJFZC9R/

 

INTERNATIONAL EBOOK (Via INGRAM)

America: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

United Kingdom: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

France: https://www.amazon.fr/Life-Lemonade-English-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

Australia:  https://www.amazon.com.au/Life-Lemonade-Diptimala-Agarwal-ebook/dp/B0BSNZW1JF/

 

SOCIAL MEDIA MENTIONS

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=185008180804315&set=a.120128090625658

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/gwpauthors/status/1615961732429799425/photo/1

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CnlkLoEP5mz/

 

Keep reading, keep shining.

Keep inspiring, Keep shining.

Love,

Juju

Support Vs Help: Word is World Sequel series

Support Vs Help: Word is World Sequel Series

This is an impromptu write up, dedicated to a soul fighting an inner battle. Our routine conversation churned out this thought provoking write up.

This write up is sequel of “Word is World” series. I firmly believe in the power of word. Our spoken words are building bricks in shaping up our destiny. Often, unknowingly, we tend to use words which appear to have same meaning with subtle difference. Little do we realize that the meaning and essence is entirely different. For example, Depression- sadness, stress-tension, support-help. In this write up, I will cover the essence of support –help.     

We have used these phrases – Help the mankind, Support your family, children. Do we ever pause and think why help (and not support) the mankind and support (and not help) your family/ children? A casual remark by my learned soul, “I want to support my child” embarked me on this journey of world of words.

To help is “to provide assistance and make it easier for someone to do something by offering one’s services or resources or to be of benefit to.” To Support is “to provide assistance by giving approval, comfort and encouragement or being capable of sustaining.” Now, support seems more empowering, strong and positive as compared to help which tends to send a negative vibe of incapability, weakness.

As I delved into this, I realized, one tends to use these words without realizing the impact it generates. My thoughts came to halt and I was in a state of trance. Each word which comes out of our mouth carries lot of weight as it sets the pace of the next moments for those within the perimeter of the word reach.

As a parent, I want to support my children and keep help as a back up/ standby. Please share your thoughts by DM (direct message) or in comments section.

Keep reading: Keep sharing.

Love,

Juju

Golden Book Awards 2023

 Hello Readers

Please find the press release in Business Standard.

https://www.business-standard.com/content/press-releases-ani/prestigious-book-award-golden-book-awards-announces-winners-of-2023-123020301300_1.html

https://www.business-standard.com/content/press-releases-ani/prestigious-book-award-golden-book-awards-announces-winners-of-2023-123020301300_1.html

We will be sharing other website links also 

Thank You

Love,

Juju

Wake up call! Lessons from Gen next

Wake up call! Lessons from Gen next

Disclaimer: This write up is an attempt to sensitize, not judge any generation. It’s moral duty of parents to pass on the family values. Same for children, the onus is on them to carry forward the legacy. Names have been changed to maintain confidentiality. There is no intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments. Any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental.

 

For any new generation, there is direct impact from previous two generations, namely parents and grandparents. The values they imbibe, is directly proportional to behavior of their parents and grandparents. Here is an excerpt from a conversation, during my sessions-

“Mom, I don’t want to lead a sandwiched life like father, neither do I want my life partner to suffer like you,” said Sam, a 22 year old boy to his mother. His mother, Sharmila was shocked and shaken to hear these words. All this while, she thought she had given an amazing environment for her children to grow and tried her best to balance her differences with her spouse and her in-laws. Sam continued, “All through my childhood, I have seen father getting stuck between grandmother and his wife. His decisions have been influenced by grandfather. He has not been able to live a life he always wanted to live, a life by one’s own choice on one’s own terms. You have made lot of adjustments too. I have been a witness to your sufferings, at time silent, at times explosives. And my heart bleeds on recounting such incidences. I want to see my parents happy and satisfied.” 

Sharmila just kept quiet and patiently waited him to pour out his feelings. Sam had just received his acceptance letter from a University. This was his dream to study in a University and country of his choice. He had harbored this dream since childhood. Sharmila had been the backbone of her family and had dedicated her life to her family. She had left her high profile job to look after her children as she was unable to develop a support system. She had this regret which resurfaced from time to time. Even though she thought she had handled well, Sam her son thought much otherwise.

Sam continued, “Maa, I love you very much and wish to see you happy and lead a fulfilled life. Start living for yourself. Just see how grandmother has dictated you all through these years and always dominated you. Even aunts and helpers don’t give you much respect. The reason is you are considered as an outsider by grandmother and will always remain. The situation will not change. Please change yourself so that you live in harmony. I am concerned as I will leave soon. Till now, I was your cushion, now you will be on your own.”

Hearing this, Sharmila could not hold back her tears. Sam’s back was towards her so he could not see his mother wet cheeks. “What’s wrong in living separately from your parents? Why this undue pressure to stay together when we are not tuned or prepared for this? Let’s live in independent spaces with peace and harmony. Everyone wants to design their own life. Why should one follow anyone’s path? Especially, when one doesn’t like that path,” Sam paused and looked look back at his mother’s expressions. Sharmila had the most beautiful smile on her face. She was feeling proud as a mother that her son was wise for his age and had a clear vision of life.

Sam is gennext. This generation is wiser as they have been a witness to changes in family's morals, ethics and cultural values. Generation prior (his parent’s generation and ones in their late 40’s and 50’s now) have confused themselves about many things. The definition of enjoyment, happiness and focus has become hazy. In an attempt to ape the Western culture, they have incorporated all the vices like drinking, smoking, over presence on social media, partying till wee hours, extra marital affairs, wearing short dresses etc, thereby neglecting their children and family. This is the new definition of living a happy life- pseudo modernization is the correct term. Respecting one's own tradition and culture is being viewed as being conservative and living in a bubble of western culture as being modern. Time to pause and think! Where are we heading? What path are we carving for our children? The choice is always ours.

Life is not black and white, rather shades of grey. Yet, one needs to set clear guidelines about right and wrong till a certain age. As maturity sets in, gradually guidelines get modified into right and being more right. The word wrong gets eliminated. 

Be the person, you want your child to grow up to be. Try to live life in a conscious state, happy and regret free.

Love,

Juju.

HNY 2023# Author interview

The year 2022 was a roller coaster year with personal losses. However, it ended on a positive note happy note. 

1) My book - *Momsie Popsie Diary Tea  time chit chat on living life* has been selected for the *prestigious Golden Book Awards 2023.*(There were 5500+ nominations).My 15th Literary Award* 

2) In *ISCCM - ( Indian Society of Critical Care Medicine )* newsletter, Nov-Dec 2022, my interview was published in section Wellness Journey : Mind, Body and soul ( page 88-91)

3) My *Author interview was released on You tube channel -* Wellness with Dr. Diptimala.

Wish you and your family a very happy, fulfilling new year 2023.

https://youtu.be/RJMmv_RFm9U

Love,

Juju