Twilight # Parenthood

Twilight # Parenthood

A continuously evolving, self improving, learning journey beautifully describes parenthood, where one is a teacher as well as a pupil.

One should be one step ahead or abreast with their children’s world in terms of knowledge and latest developments especially in IT sector.

The market /media is flooded with various tools and methods of becoming an effective parents. Our parents, grandparents and forefathers never had such amazing info as parents of our generations have.

Parenthood is a natural process which one learns by becoming one! Isn't it simple! Then why do we need techniques, apps and methods to be one ?? This question keeps knocking at my grey matter. Even I have gathered lots and lots of info and am of the thought that I am a cool chilled parent till my belief was shaken by one phrase from my elder monk.

A discussion on “Chichhore” movie # myself taking pride in saying that we are cool parents, blah blah! # message that as parents, we had never put pressure on any our kids, etc. It was that one glorious moment when I was about to pat myself for being an amazing parent, when...……...

My monk interjected , “ Mom, are you aware that parent’s repeated comments like – you are intelligent: you are hard working : don’t worry,  don’t take any pressure etc- the  so called positive statements also amount to pressure build up in a child. You think, you are relieving their pressure. On the contrary, you are building a tremendous amount of pressure in their heads. As a child, we tend to bear the dual weight of expectations, one -our very own and two, which parents have from us.”

The parent in me started shaking with a disbelief that my positive supportive behaviour/ statements (so as I thought to be) has side effects rather adverse effects!, Filled with remorse, I prayed for forgiveness from God. God, show me the correct path. I am so sorry my dear child.

Seeing the frown and misery on my face, my elder monk patted my back and continued with a holistic smile, “Both of you are excellent Maa! This topic is like a double edged sword, children have a different perspective. Many a times, the pressure is from within especially when you have intelligent, successful parents. It’s entirely the child’s prerogative how he/she develops the thought process to build up or to release the pressure.

Don’t worry you act like a whistle on my (cooker) head Ha ! Ha ! “
The monk started laughing and remarked “ Itna tension nahin lene ka Maa : you are the coolest mom.” The parent in me smiled with pride, whatever maybe the discussion, my monk has finally arrived in the journey of life.

Coming back to the movie, there was no pressure on the child by his parents, inwardly the child crumbled under his own pressure (my take on this movie- difference in opinion is respected).

Enjoy parenthood # have open discussions# cherish the time spent with your children # Unka yeh bachpan naa mile dobaara!

Love,
Juju
  

Where did you go ??

Where did you go ??

Recently, the little monk remarked, "Where did my mummy go ?" She replied, " I am here, why are you asking?"
The monk replied, " Not this mummy, my mummy !".

She was perplexed, what s happening? Several thoughts fleeted within few seconds and the reins were pulled when the little monk justified his statement with an explanation. My mummy used to a bubbly, lively, active, smiling, dancing, happy person. Of late, she has been taken over by a serious, tired, irritable person. I want my mummy back. With this statement, he left.
She was all by herself literally shaken to the core as if hit by a tsunami.

She went inside her room and looked into the mirror.
She was surprised by what she saw! She did not recognize the person in the mirror! With great disbelief, she checked the mirror. It turned out the mirror was fine. Then why , she could not relate to the person she saw in the mirror.

Once a happy, cheerful beautiful person used to live in the mirror, now she saw a tired, serious person. Has the mirror been changed? No!! Stony silence !!
Slowly, she smiled and the person in the mirror smiled back: she laughed and the person laughed with her. Instanter, she understood the root cause. All, this while she had forgotten about the person in the mirror. With a smile of complete understanding, she vowed to bring the monk,s mummy back into life.
She learned an important lesson of making oneself a priority.  We can give only what we have. It,s important that one fills with love, happiness, joy, etc to the brim so that it overflows.
Renovation is under progress.
Hopefully, soon the monk will get back his mummy.
It will be a fantastic sequale.
Take Care,
Love,
Juju

Popsie,s theory : Concept of totality

Concept of totality: Popsie,s theory

"One has to see life in totality!" Pet lines of my popsie. Whenever you see your life, try to see from all angles, all spheres, and all aspects, turn over each and everything. That,s the whole concept of totality. If one follows this theory, life becomes a cakewalk. I try to follow it, though life is not a cakewalk, but definitely comfortable. Be it your difficult times or your good times, nothing is permanent.

I broadened the concept, my modified theory of totality ( Ha! ha!). To make things simple, apply this not only on your self rather on your family too. God has given 100 percent of everything to everyone. How much percent one relishes in which part of life is governed by almighty and your karma. Just like two negatives can make a positive, moving the lower line of alphabet U makes it N, etc.

On a lighter vein, your quota is fixed for everything in life: eating, sleeping, studying, working, socializing, etc. Try to balance out so as to enjoy all activities in all aspects of life.
In my modified Theory, there are few keys points that I label as portfolios. Every family has portfolios assigned to different members. Children have a study portfolio, parents have a work portfolio, grandparents have multiple portfolios like religious,  socializing, caring, etc. As one graduate from being a child to a teenager to adult so on.... the number of assigned portfolios increases. This concept intimidates me. Life is a treasure to be cherished, relished and lived fully each living moment.

I read somewhere that I have a pact with God If God gives me another day: I promise to be a better me than the previous day.

Zindagi jeene ka naam hai saheb : jo marzi theory apna lo : parr jiyo zindagi zindadilli se!

Yeh ek Dilliwali hi keh sakti hai !( Ha...Ha...)
Love,
Juju  

Parallel world: An ode to momsie!

Parallel world: An ode to momsie!

Caution : sensitive topic. Not
intended for people with heart diseases or pregnant females or children. Read at your own risk!

Since childhood, I have been intrigued by the idea of a parallel world. It gave me great strength and courage as a child, the mere feeling of not being alone. A parallel world exists in which life goes on as it does in our world. It exists in another time and dimension. That,s it! The catch is that we cannot see them and they can see us. Difficult ( presently) to travel into another time and space dimension. One day we will!
Many may not agree. This write up doesn't intend to convince anyone. This thought was deeply embedded in my subconscious mind and I had almost forgotten. An evening call to someone close, the discussion taking an emotional turn led to re-emergence of this thought process from the pile of thought debris. There is another time and space dimension, different from ours.
How many times have you felt that you are being watched? How many times do you feel someone was behind you? How many times you feel someone is talking somewhere distantly ( soft noise). Does this sound like a case of schizophrenia?
No!, I am talking about the sixth sense or that special sense of feeling we all have experienced. When someone real close leaves the mortal form, one tends to feel their presence everywhere: as if they have become omnipresent. I strongly believe that the soul (a form of energy ) travels into a parallel world and keeps a watch on us.
Another point that came during our conversation was of the blame game: how convenient to blame someone or something for the happenings in one,s life. The real question - is it the right game? I believe any game which gives you a sense of purpose to keep moving on in life is the right game.

The parallel world is watching me and urging me to conclude. The highlight is that both worlds exist in complete harmony.
Think over, let your neurons re-charge. I feel solace with this idea of a parallel world. I know my mother is just on the other side. The best part is she can see me whereas I can only feel her. Love you mom from this world to your world: till we meet again.

Love,
Juju

Flip over: Upside/ down

Flip over: Upside/ down

This writeup is dedicated to my buddy who relocated base three and a half years ago. A casual friendly conversation regarding, passion vs duty vs hobby lead to our sudden enlightenment (mutual! thank god). As we walk in this journey of life, we come across different people with an entirely different take on life, however, there are a few bunches who follow a path closely similar to ours- our soulmates our buddies.

Travelling is my passion. The goal is to gradually tick places off from my bucket list. So, traveling comprises a routine topic of discussion. How soon one should take a break, is a million-dollar question. Initially, planning is dependent on oneself, post-marriage, according to children,s holidays schedule and finally, again as per one wish.

My Momsie -Popsie always taught the importance of parents being in their children's childhood memories than leaving a huge bank balance for them. As in this unending pursuit of generating the bank balance, one largely compromises on the time. Think over my generation people, the importance of devoting time to self and children, for tomorrow is never promised and is not a post-dated cheque to be encashed. Life does not work on the principles of the bank. Life is happening now: it,s a current account.

Coming back to my conversation with my buddy. We were discussing how work becomes boring after a certain period of time, one needs a break from it. She differed and commented, if work is your passion, you will not get bored ever. To this, my answer was, even though I love my work (passionate), I have a traveler soul.
She said, ‘ Why don,t you think that you are traveling since it,s your passion and in between, you are taking breaks of 3-4 months of work !”
Wow ! I exclaimed what a brilliant wonderful thought. She reflected upon the idea of passion and work in an upside/down perspective.  Gosh ! I love her more for this. Life is definitely 99% how we take it : only 1 % actually happens
She said, “ Chal mil gaya ek aur idea tere blog ka!”
Thanks buddy!

I always say, “ Life mein ek Anjali zaroori hai!” way ahead of KJ and
SRK said in KKHH ( Kuch kuch hota hai in October1998)
Momsie ! I am gradually learning how to live in the moment. Love you from this world to your world: till we meet again, up there
Signing off now with my next write up ready in my thoughts
Take care,
Love,
Juju

“ Marital Curry”

“ Marital Curry”

A brief background into the origin of this title. My friends were planning a post Diwali get together. I had to decide the venue and thanks to my auto correct app, “Nariyal curry” restaurant was typed as Marital Curry. The idea for my new blogpost was born.

Festival season is waning: long wait for winters is coming to an end. Post festivals like karva chauth and ashtmi, love is afresh in air (hopefully will remain so, till it condenses and settles down. 

Ha ! Ha!).

After a certain period of time in marriage, it a curry like feel.

Adjusted so well, know ones pros and cons, rather amalgated oneself with your spouse, it tastes spicey most of the time.

Recipe of marital curry:

Main ingredients are – handful of faith, trust, love, care, respect, sacrifice, affection, warmth, compassion etc with a pinch of remorse ( optional).

Preparation time: anywhere from few months to a lifetime and beyond (for few)

Toppings: fresh romance sprinkled over the brimming curry.

Serves: Basically for 2, but the aroma affects all the people in the inner and outer circle.

Calories:  Zero ( absolutely)

P.S. Don,t keep it overnight. Fresh preparation has numerous health benefits.

Happy Diwali 

Enjoy your curry

Take Care,

Love,

Juju

Secular pixel - I am an Indian

Secular pixel - I am an Indian!!!!!!!!

A thought flashed across my mind. Are we really so embittered towards each other as the media portrays to be or it,s  an unspoken ( ? spoken) truth that media is paid these days.

One needs to decide for oneself.

While driving to my workplace, as I stopped my car at the red light, my receptionist gave me a routine call and I asked her to take time from my hairstylist.

It dawned upon me that while I have been told that I am a Hindu, my receptionist follows Sikhism, my helper who keeps my office clean is of low caste and so is the man who collects garbage, my hairstylist is a Muslim and my friends are Christians, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, Gujarati, Marathi, Kannada, Malayali, Oriya, Kashmiri, etc and as my list grew, I could see myself as a secular pixel in this universe. When I employed them, I had looked at their credentials and never even asked their religion or caste. They have been with me in this journey for nearly two decades or more.

In those fleeting forty five seconds or so at the traffic red lights, I could visualize the people in the my real life - a glimpse of secular India.

Time to slow down and ponder …. Are we being baits to these media people? Answer is definitely in affirmative. But the real question is for how long??? Please check ……….

Just a thought before my next write up titled “Marital Curry”

Happy Diwali!

Juju!