Listing Links of my 7th book -The Kolkata Diaries Volume II,
Hello my dear readers,
Keep loving, Keep caring, Keep reading, keep sharing.
Love,
Juju's Pearls
Decoding AAA –Part 2
Disclaimer:
This write up is based on author’s
experiences. There is no intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments. Any resemblance
to any person is purely co-incidental
Triple A is one of the most powerful words on this planet. Depending upon the situation and one’s state of mind, it can be decoded. In this write up, I will decode Triple A as Alcohol, Anger and Arrogance. Continuing with Part 2 of this,
We all have heard shallow waters make lot of noise
as compared ocean/ sea. Similarly in such souls there is shallowness, weakness
and Triple A is their coping mechanism. In zest to justify themselves such
souls plunge into alcohol or get angry or act arrogant. Their inner self is
scared and impulsive with fear of being judged.
This either dampens or excites the neurons. The normal state of activity
transmission is lost.
Here comes the role of family, friends or other
people. One should sympathize with such souls as they cannot think straight.
One should not expect appropriate behavior. It’s like holding a burning coal in
one’s hand with the intention to hurt the other person, not realising they are
themselves hurting in the process. One just cannot throw dirt on someone
without smearing one’s own hand.
Denial is very strong in majority and hence the
treatment becomes challenging. When one does realises the damage, the
relationships have already been stretched and strained. If not rectified in
stipulated time, these can break permanently. Anything stretched for too long,
leaves a flaccid segment which has just enough strength to hold the ends
together.
All these can be qualified as coping mechanisms. An individual,
who has been criticized a lot during his childhood period, either becomes arrogant
or aggressive. This behavior is defensive as these souls are emotionally weak,
reasons can be many. The most common one is deficiency of parental love especially
mother’s. Adopting this attitude protects them from the external world which hurts them.
One needs to drill through them to identify the nervous child within the huge
exterior who is waiting to be hugged. With abundant love and care, one can hope
to help them or at least gain the confidence in getting a psychologist visit.
Alcohol addiction is seen in our societies since
time immemorial. This is one of the fastest growing culture (? pseudo). Generally,
men are incapable of handling themselves and to release this tremendous
pressure, they indulge in alcohol. This intoxication makes them overcome their
fears and they tend to feel powerful and in control. Of late, many women are
also indulging in this to ease their stress. This is a very strong addiction
which requires immense will power by the person concerned to give it up.
As the great Punjabi Sufi poet Waris Shah says ( Heard from my Popsie umpteen number of times), regarding addiction and habit. The essence is that it is relatively easy to change habit ( although requires immense will power and self control) but very difficult to give up an addiction.
" Wareh Shah na vaibhataan jaandiye ne,
Bhavein band band katwa dehye "
Lets work to change our AAA code to Awareness, Acceptance, Alignment so as to make life beautiful for self and those around.
Living life in a conscious state is the most powerful addiction. Get addicted!
(I will write a separate blog on habit and addiction.)
Juju
Decoding AAA - Part 1
Disclaimer:
This write up is based on author’s
experiences. There is no intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments. Any resemblance
to any person is purely coincidental
Mental imbalance need not be necessarily after alcohol
intake. Anger and arrogance are powerful stimulants which causes aggressive
behavior. The brunt is borne by close family mainly spouse and children. The
seeds are sown in-utero or during early childhood. A new born soul is pure,
pious, peaceful, powerful. The surrounding environment shapes his personality
and character.
A soul which harbors either of these will create an
invisible fort around for their protection, rather than for people around them.
The behavioral pattern is same in all these cases. There are periods of
aggression followed by soberness. There is a perpetual state of denial in all three
types. All these bring about a state of temporary control. The goal is to live
and let live and achieve absolute happiness. A state of denial never opens doors
for improvement.
De addiction and emotional management therapy can
only work when a person accepts the fact that their behavior is causing irreparable
damage in all relations. Only when denial mode resets to acceptance mode, the
therapy can actually work. The first step is the most courageous one, as this is a fight
with self. Inner fights are the greatest fights.
Miracles can happen if one is willing to replace AAA
battery with new AAA battery of Awareness, Acceptance, Alignment so as to make
life beautiful for self and those around. Only then one can lead a contented,
fulfilled life.
Checking one’s AAA batteries regularly and timely replacement
is the key for peace and harmony of self and those around.
To be continued...
Love,
Juju
Need of the hour # Man empowerment!
Since time immemorial, there has been hype about empowering women, the weaker sex, the fairer sex. Hypocrisy lies in the fact people who talk about such things have been brought into this world by a woman. How can a cat bear a lion? Only a lioness can bear a lion. All this heavy word talk carries no meaning and should be discarded as useless.
Why label the female gender as weak and then talk about empowerment. If the label is removed, all of us will see women as an individual. None can judge the power of a woman who carries a child in her womb for nine month. The ability to bear pain during child birth, the patience to nurture a child, the selfless nature to leave her childhood home and make a man’s four walled house a home, only a woman can do.
If man wants to survive, then they should rise above their ego and acknowledge woman as their counterpart and not as rivals. There can never ever be a comparison between a man and a woman. For comparison, parameters of both sides should be same. In this situation, the moulds are entirely different in terms of physical attributes, emotional power and highest of all, the ability to reproduce.
One can never elevate one’s orbit by putting someone down. One has to rise above the ground to be able to get a clear view. In humans, the journey is always started from at least two to three feet above the ground level, depending upon the height of one’s mother. Yet, their vision is compromised.
Only a woman can empower a man besides empowering herself and other women. This question is still unanswered as to why/how a man who is raised finely by a woman (in mother’s role) disrespects other women, even woman in his own house once he grows up? Are there many grey areas in a boy/man's upbringing?
The answer lies in woman’s change of behavior in different roles at various stages of her life. Woman, who appreciates and praises her doting son in law ( who listens to her daughter), finds her own son as daughter in law’s servant and never misses a chance to be vocal about it. Isn’t it ironical? Daughter’s husband is praised for taking care of his wife, whereas her own son is humiliated for doing the same.
The crux is the insecurity of the elder woman. The mother in law eyes her daughter in law as a competitor and never really accepts her. Man is sandwiched in between, however makes the best of the situation and starts dominating
Let’s not waste our energies in blame games. Accept the situation and try to make the best of it. In this circle of relationships, let’s help one another in rising. Let’s see a person as a soul without any labels of gender, economic and financial status. Then life would be worth living, happy and satisfying.
Strive to connect at soul level. Small steps in the right direction will lead to a happy destination.
Happy soul connections!
Love,
Juju.
Hello my dear readers,
I am sharing listing links of my 6th Book
How I calibrate my life
Amazon link
https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0B468LWN2?ref=myi_title_dp
Amazon Kindle
https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0B46DBL2T
Keep loving keep caring
Keep reading keep sharing
Love,
Juju's Pearls
18th/19th June# my tryst with love & grief
*P.S. It’s not a sad blog
In my family, we remember 18th June as
day of “Death of a saint.”As on this day in heaven, Baikunth doors were open.
As per Hinduism, in the year 2015 this day was the most auspicious day for any
soul to leave the mortal coil to be with the Almighty as God himself was
welcoming such noble, pious souls. These thoughts help a little bit in coming
terms with the loss of my mother # Momsie. My Maa, lived life on her own terms
and left this world as per her own will.
Rewinding back by twenty three years, I alighted from Mumbai-New Delhi Rajdhani express on this day (18th June). This one forward step on the New Delhi railway station changed my life forever.
On 19th June, I met the love of my life and my status changed from single to engaged.
Fast forward sixteen years, grief engulfed me as we lit my mother’s pyre. A
part of me went with her in the pyre. Every year these two days bring a tsunami
of mixed emotions. Just don’t know how to feel during this week. Life shows it's two faces simultaneously. I guess! That’s
what life is all about, a mix bag of emotions.
With a heart full of gratitude, I feel humbled as I share my Book “MOMSIE POSPIE DAIRY Tea time chit chat on living life” has created a buzz and recognition in the Literary world with 12 awards and 3 nominations. Four anthologies have already been launched and another four are in the publishing stage.
I also seek
blessings and support for my much awaited second
solo book, which is in pre publishing stage. Book launch will be in fall this year. Details
will be regularly updated.
For those who missed out reading my literary award
winning book, I am sharing the links as a separate blog. It is available as paperback and e-book on
all e-commerce sites in India and International market. Kindly share in all your groups -family, friends and outer circle.
Do order your copy today. A perfect gift for self and someone you love.
Keep reading, keep sharing.
Love,
Juju
Does truth exists?
Of late, truth has intrigued me. How do
we quantify a truth? Does it really exist? If yes, then who defines it?
In ancient times, there were clear
demarcations between right / wrong, true/false, ethical/ unethical etc. As
mankind evolved, the demarcation line seems to have blurred. The transition
zone has been gradually expanding and absorbing from either side. In later half
of last century, there have been many movements related to empowerment,
liberation and equality which have also contributed.
Everyone has their own sets of truths.
Universal truth still holds the highest position. Man is busy in his own pursue
of truth so much so that the universal truth is often overlooked. This process starts building up since childhood and goes on throughout life. It’s an ongoing
process. A neutral person can help in finding out the truth.
Situations which are being encountered
these days are different. A person standing on head end of table will read the
letter 6 as 9, whereas the person standing on the foot end of the table will
vouch for 6. In this context, both are right. Consider another situation of a
person living on south side of equator and other person living on north of
equator. The timings, weather, sun rays etc will be completely opposite. Both
will speak their truth, only thing is their truth won’t match!
My thinking cap magically sits on my
head as I ponder, is there any concept of right and wrong, true/false? Anything
in synchrony with nature and for benefit of mother Earth is right and the
truth. It is all about one’s own perspective and willingness to step into other
person’s shoes. Life will become much simpler and fun filled, if we attempt to
understand the other person’s view point.
Till a certain age, say till one
completes education, this should be in black and white. As one explores beyond
his own comfort zone and enters forties, there is a sense of liberation and
acceptance. Realization dawns upon that everything is right, true and ethical.
It’s all a matter of one’s own perspective and willingness to accept other
person’s point of view too. If my viewpoint doesn’t match yours, learn to
accept my truth too and keep your truth to yourself.
If we transform our vocabulary to true/
more true, right/ more right, ethical/ more ethical, etc, this world will
become heaven. And, when the time comes to leave and enter God’s land, I bet God
will ask, “So, how was heaven?”
Love,
Juju
We meet to part and we part to meet!
We cross paths for a reason. There is a
divine purpose behind every soul we meet in this journey of life. Many a times,
God sends just the right person who helps up in wading through difficult times.
Whenever one feels in midst of challenging times, a gentle reminder that the
situation is temporary and will pass off helps in facing it. Such
challenges are ‘His” way of expressing his love, concern and the need for that
particular soul to evolve.
The only thing constant in this universe is ‘Change’. Yet, we live life with certainty and seek stability. Still water stagnates, harbor algae formation. Everyone likes a change and seeks a break from the monotony/ routine.
There are certain changes which our soul doesn’t approve. Like children leaving home, high
school student entering college, graduation days nearing completion with hostel
days coming to an end. Even changes as simple as changing one’s sleeping
place, eating place, study pace, parking place, trying a different meal menu,
to name few. What is constant, humans tend to fight against it, tries to go
against nature. Many of us try to swim against the wave. The best approach at
times is to have faith in God and swim with the wave. This gives the much
required impetus and at times the much needed push.
“What you resist persists!” If one
understands the meaning of these four words, life will appear in simplified
view. All these thoughts churn in my mind. One of my friends was leaving for
good and I was trying to reconcile with these thoughts.
The person who takes the forward step
witnesses the beautiful view earlier than the person behind. So, he trudges
with full faith and enthusiasm. Wishing my friend enough wisdom and luck, as I
turn around my vehicle and head home, my Popsie’s golden words echo in my mind, “In life,
we meet to part and we part to meet. These are two sides of the same coin –
life. Enjoy the phase which life puts you in.” In many communities, one always
says, “Till we meet again!” There are no goodbyes in this circle of life. We
meet to part and part to meet.
Filled with renewed energy and power, I
leave with a smile and hope. The flipside will be part to meet. So, enjoy life
fully every moment on daily basis. Inculcate this habit.
(With every write up, I meet with my
readers and part at the end with the hope of meeting again.)
Love you all,
Juju
The right time to leave your child’s hand!
Disclaimer:
This write up is my personal view point. Readers are free to differ. And can
write their views in comments section.
Children belong to future. They come through us but
we do not own them. If each one of us remember above two lines, life will be
much easier for each one of us.
None of us are born parents. We become parents after
the birth of our first born and here one’s child is one’s teacher. Each child
demands different style of parenting. So, there is no rule book to master to
become the best parents. There is no competition or race. Each parent does the
best job as per their own knowledge, wisdom and instinct.
When is the right time to leave your child’s hand? This
is a million dollar question. Each one is bound to have their answer. I always
believe in holding the hand of your child till they leave it, and not parents
releasing the hand clasp earlier. The intention is pure and pious, the
unconditional love for their children to make them independent.
Everyone likes a space where they do things by their
choice. Anything done by choice gives immense satisfaction than a decision imposed.
Similar happens in this case. When a child leaves the hand as per their own choice, there is
tremendous boost in their self confidence. In a situation, where the parent withdraws
the hand, the child may feel insecure. This may result in child clinging on for
more time. The choice is always ours, as parents. It’s only a matter of few
days or weeks, Sooner or later, your child will be independent. Don’t be in a
hurry to do so. The after void is not well taken by many parents
Cherish this clasp for as long as it goes. Your child will leave you some day or the other. Let the parent child hand clasp be firm brimming with love and confidence. Let the choice be of your child.
Happy parenting!
Love,
Juju
The Gedi League!
Love in forties # dedicated to my Honda
My favorite statement for this year is “What you
have not done ever before, 2022 is the year to do such things.” It’s high time
one learns to live fully and ticks off things on one’s bucket list.
One such thing which I ticked off is learning to
ride a two-wheeler. With my son entering eleventh grade, I knew deep in my heart
that he needs to be independent for his overall development. So, I faced my
greatest fears of driving a two wheeler. Whatever, a mother fears, child will
automatically start fearing. My parents especially my mother was wary of two
wheelers and so I became one too. Four wheeler and bi-cycle have always been the
love of my life.
Ever since I have learnt this new vehicle, I have fallen in love all over again. No guesses here ! It's with this metallic body. Now I know the feeling this love gives, As the speed soars, so do the emotions. There is complete bliss between the wind blowing, caressing my skin and the speed of my Honda.
As the speed increases, so does wind velocity and it starts
playing with one’s skin, hair and at times throws in dirt too like a menacing
child who always spoils the sport. It’s important to control your speed and
have full control in order to enjoy the ride.
In childhood, whenever we used to go to mountains,
there used to messages on big rocks, painted white with message in black ,“
Speed thrills, but kills,“Remember someone is waiting for you at home.”These
messages are deeply imprinted in my mind and I happen to recite them whenever I
drive my two- wheeler. Driving is all about being in the moment. One more thing,
which I realized, this is one of the best anti stress therapy.
With one more thing ticked off my bucket list, I
came to the next. All this while I have heard this word ever since I have moved
to Punjab, post marriage, “Gedi’. This implies a group ride on two-wheeler
with friends, maybe solo with one friend too. Going together in complete
synchrony evokes the most powerful happy hormones. When your friend trusts you,
things work out on their own. With this faith, my friend sat, while I drove.
Post dinner time in summers is pleasant on few days in Northern India. Night was young, street lights were welcoming and roads beckoned us. We drove around for some time, stopped to have tea. Felt like we had relived college days (although I never had such experiences in college).This gave a different feel.
While riding back home, I couldn’t help wondering,
how can a person who loves to do adventure sports be scared of a two wheeler? Brushing aside this thought, I hummed my
favorite song, “I had the time of my life …. ”
Now I can proudly say, that I am a part of this Gedi league.
* Please wear helmet.
Love,
Juju
Metaphors # Bank terminology God created humans in all shapes and sizes with unique metabolisms. There are some who gain weight at a bullet...