Change conjunction # transform life!

 Change conjunction # transform life!

(It’s all about use of conjunctions – but, in our daily conversation)

A routine wellbeing call, stirred a storm in my Mind’s Café when my friend said, “I want to go for morning walk but…., I want to join dance class but…., I want to go for a trek but ……”

This went on for few minutes when I suddenly felt the urge to stop her. Every sentence she spoke had two parts. First part was about the activity she wanted to do and second part was all about the justification rather excuse of how/why she was unable to do the first part. I could follow her conversation very well. 

I have observed, this word “but” holds a very important place in our vocabulary. This conjunction is used to join two ideas that are opposite. Introspection led to dawning -whenever and where ever we want to justify ourselves, we use the word but. I find this word negative as it generates a palpable pause when used and the user adopts a defensive line of action. There is associated unspoken lack of responsibility and motivation. I explained in brief and requested my friend to use the word “and” instead of “but”. Luckily, she understood my philosophy. We resumed with our conversation. Sharing a part of how it went.  

I want to go for morning walk and I have to drop my child to school at the same time. I want to join evening dance class and I have to attend my evening office duty. I want to go for trek this winter and my child has board exams. She sent a kiss through the mobile and said, “Thanks dear, now I feel I can do both the things. Earlier, I used to feel helpless and demotivated. Now I feel positive and in control of my life.”

“Always there for you, happy for you. Thanks! I too got an idea for my blog,” I smiled as I disconnected the call. I have adopted this since long. Hope you adopt this consciously too. Word is indeed world. Wishing my Reader’s a happy, motivated and empowered life.

(P.S. I have to start my next project and I have to resume my yoga. 

Both require mind, body and soul alignment. Feeling unstoppable already.)

Love,

Juju.

Listing links for my 11th Book

Hello readers,

I feel humbled to share my 11th book is out. Title : Tales in the City Volume 1.

To be adapted into short film (Availability in all formats)

 https://www.ukiyotoindia.com/product-page/tales-in-the-city-volume-i

Keep loving, Keep caring.

Keep reading, Keep sharing

Love,

Juju's  Pearls 

When a day seems like eternity!

When a day seems like eternity!

P.S. This write up is dedicated to all the souls who have had tryst with wait and grief. My personal request to all my readers to send healing healthy energies in name of a precious pearl A.J.

How a routine day will unfold, no body can guess. It may be adventurous, life threatening or even an upside-down kind of a day. If one is lucky enough such a situation can be overcome. In such challenging situations, faith gets shaken the most, one falters and many a times at loss on how to behave. Mind get frozen when one of your most dear persons is admitted in an Intensive Care Unit in a hospital. This is the time when a day seems like eternity. I have devised a formula approach. Remember, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!”  

One can defeat adverse situation by being tough. Form a core group of people who are positive and motivated. Here being positive matters. Not even one moment of negativity or doubt. Discuss well with the attending doctor, have faith and trust the treatment given. If required, do not hesitate to take a second opinion. Faith can move mountains. Here we are talking about a human being weighing less than 100 kg. Faith tops the list.

Another crucial point is surrendering to almighty. “Nothing happens without God’s will.” Keep reinforcing this and let each and every cell in your body surrender to God selflessly. Generate a chain of prayers so that universe conspires and targets all healing vibration towards your loved one. Let your doctors team take care of the treatment plan. Have faith, keep patience, the rainbow is about to appear. The day which seems like eternity will soon become a memory. Hold on! This too shall pass.

Love,

Juju.  

 

 

 

 

Humor # Pre-Diwali

 Humor # Pre-Diwali

An impromptu short write up which I want to share with all of you. A change in outlook brings out sheer joy.

I called up my friend in the morning to enquire about her plans for the day. “Today, is my Diwali cleaning day. I find this task so Herculean and always end up feeling, I could have done better,” she answered in a heavy voice.

“How about sent-up exam before this Herculean task?” I promptly replied. This brought my friend in the present moment and she sounded confused. “What do you mean?” she asked.

Now, I was sure she was paying full attention and I enjoyed those few after minutes thoroughly. Clearing my throat I said, “Look, before any final university exams, students need to appear for pre university or sent-ups. Just like pre-boards before board exams. Similarly, if you want to practice, I am generous enough to offer my house as sent-up exam. You are welcome to clean my house, test your instruments/ gadgets and skills properly before you attempt this in your house,” I replied in a most calm, soothing voice and tone.

I don’t understand as to why she disconnected with some inaudible whispers. She has blocked me since then.

This was just to add comic tadka. Infact, we laughed our hearts out and my friend said, " I know you will write a blog on this before the day ends. " My friends know me really well. Feel blessed. 

Love,

Juju

 

“No! there is no need.”

 “No! there is no need.”

 

Of late, this word was in my friend’s vocabulary, for almost everything her children requested or demanded. This word “No” was a reflex as she would refuse anything and everything her children asked for or talked about. This went around for few days before her elder monk called up and said, “Aunty, there is something wrong. My mother doesn’t know the meaning of right/wrong and neither does she know how to raise teenagers. We have become used to hearing “No there is no need” for most of things. At times, she doesn’t even bother to know what we are conveying to her. This two-letter word feels like a slap. Please counsel her.”

I knew my friend was a strict parent who believed in a disciplined upbringing. As her children entered teenage years, she tightened the reins and put a restrain on almost everything. It seemed so that she had started finding calm in the word ‘No! there is no need.” This was like an escape mechanism. The alarm was loud and clear however, my friend was unaware.

Majority of our discussions are done during our walks. So, I invited her for an evening walk with the intention of apprising her of the situation. After walking round the park two times, we ordered tea and settled on the lush green grass. I causally asked about the words she remembers from her childhood which her parents used often. Immediately she replied, “My parents used to listen to us and always left the decision on us once we were in high school.” I further probed, “How many times have you heard the word No?” “Not often”, she replied. Thereafter, we sipped tea in silence and watched the sun set.

“We are in the middle phase of our lives, earlier we had parents who took care of us, Now we have to look after our children and as the clock ticks, it will be our children who will probably look after us. We should strengthen these bonds time and again. Our children learn through our unspoken actions much more than our spoken words. By repeated statement - No! there is no need, you are paving way for difficult time in coming years. Think about it,” I said. She seemed to shake herself and sighed. “Hey! you are right, if I assert myself as parent when my children are dependent on us, definitely they will do the same when we become dependent on them, God forbid if we do,” she spoke thoughtfully in a slow guarded way. We finished our tea, paid the bill and started walking towards the parking. As she reached for a car door, she turned around, smiled and hugged me for few seconds. In those few seconds, we experienced one of the best connectivity.

Over the next few months, there was a change in her equation with her children and peace prevailed. “ You shall reap what you sow.” Sow wisely and carefully   

Love,

Juju.

An ode to my “Couch”

 An ode to my “Couch”

 

In life, we have people on whom we depend daily, who act as our standby and many a times our cushions and shock absorbers. This write up is dedicated to couch which has stood the test of time since last sixteen years. There has been change of place, change of cover etc. Not once has it ever let me down.

Here is my six by one-and-a-half-foot couch which was tailor made with a comfortable forty-five-degree angle back rest. Sensing my discomfort in my last trimester, my soul mate ordered this couch. I have spent restless nights during my last trimester in a fairly comfortable way. This acted like an additional bed, many a times as emergency space in order to clean the bed. It has been a witness to the growing years of my monks. It took pride in laying out their board games, their arguments, their reconciliation, heard innumerable discussions and stories on various topics

When my monks entered primary school, it’s utility started declining and soon it seemed like a space occupying object. Someone suggested to post it on OLX a site where things (used/ new) are sold and bought. With a heavy heart, I clicked all possible profiles of my couch to be put up on social media. As my partner was about to upload, I heard a shallow weep. In my heart I knew my couch was weeping as it was being put up for sale. That moment, I decided to take it to my office at my work place. The very next day, I felt my couch had a different feel.

Soon, this couch was set up in my office. It adjusted very well with the other furniture. Change of place led to a makeover and my couch looked beautiful. Many a times, my monks would come straight from school to my office, rest on the couch and leave for home. My friends and colleagues who came found themselves on the couch. This served as a resting place to tired feet, straining backs and cluttered minds. My friends would call up and say, “Feeling very tired today, chai pilaygi? You do your work and I will rest on the couch.”

Soon, this was a hot spot for my tea sessions where everything under the sun was discussed. My couch beamed with life and was a part of all conversations. Only the privileged were offered couch, for others there were office chairs.

This couch has been a part of my second innings and holds a special place. Now, it has entered my third innings as an Author. At times, I feel just like the famous saying, “Walls have ears!”, I believe even our permanent furniture have ears and even develop an emotional quotient too over years

I feel so for my couch, how about you ?

Love,

Juju.

Sponge Vs Doormat

Sponge Vs Doormat 

“Enough! I have had enough! Everyone throws their garbage on me and treat me like a doormat. I am always at the receiving end. Why, it’s always me?” My childhood friend nearly screamed as she barged into my office walking in a fast stride, hands clenched in fists and hitting against one another. She swayed up and down the room with infinite wrinkles on her forehead and lips seldom getting a chance for approximation. I sat calmly in my office chair and observed her.  Words were coming out at a tsunami speed which made her speech incoherent.  I knew I had lost her somewhere in the beginning itself. I pointed my finger towards the chair and tilted my head, urging her  to sit down and focus on her breathing. 

Offering her a glass of water, I just closed my eyes and nodded. This seemed to have a soothing effect on her. Deep in her heart, she knew I had understood what she was trying to convey, she felt relieved. We sat in silence for some time. She seemed to calm down and rested her head against the head rest of the chair and said, “Let’s have tea and salted cracker biscuits.” Tea ordered, soon we were sipping tea. Silence prevailed except for few crunchy noise of biscuits. Seeing her relaxed forehead, I took the lead and said,” Since when did human beings started becoming doormats?” 

My friend’s lips curved into smile as she remarked, “You find this amusing! Isn’t it ?” “Obviously no,” came my prompt reply. I continued, “Do you remember my favorite quote -Word is our world? Let’s do some practical work. Think, you are sponge. You absorb all their negativity (their means your family), then you squeeze yourself to let go of everything and come back to your original form- all clean, fresh and soft. Important is timely squeeze to release all negativity and energy draining thoughts. You are blessed with immense power to absorb and remove your family’s anger, dissatisfaction and tantrums. You are helping in their cleansing too.” 

Suddenly, there was a loud laugh. She put her teacup down and got up. “Thanks buddy, for giving a whole new outlook. Tea with you is always magical.” She smiled and left. While sipping my tea, I pondered, word is indeed world. A simple replacement of word Sponge with doormat had an amazing effect and helped my friend sprint back. 

Let’s refresh our vocabulary with powerful positive affirmative words. 

Love, 

Juju.

Links of my 10th book - My Mind's Cafe 28 stories for a love tooth

Dear readers,

Feel happy to share my book - My Mind's Cafe 28 stories for a love tooth is available as paperback and eBook on all e-commerce sites in Indian and International market.

Print Book India 

• Notion Press store: https://notionpress.com/read/my-mind-s-caf
• Amazon.in: https://www.amazon.in/My-Minds-Caf%C3%A9-Stories-Tooth-ebook/dp/B0BG5ZQXHS/
• Flipkart: https://www.flipkart.com/my-mind-s-caf-28-stories-love-tooth/p/itm79066808f1eb2?pid=9798887333984 

eBooks

• Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.in/My-Minds-Caf%C3%A9-Stories-Tooth-ebook/dp/B0BG5ZQXHS
• Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/in/en/ebook/my-mind-s-cafe
• Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Juju_s_Pearls_My_Mind_s_Caf%C3%A9?id=DOuJEAAAQBAJ

        iBooks (in process) 

International Print Books

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDSBJTXR
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BDSBJTXR

Keep loving, Keep Caring.

Keep reading, Keep sharing 

Love

Juju's Pearls 

Marks minting machine # NEET Warriors Part 2

Marks minting machine # NEET Warriors Part 2

Disclaimer: This write-up reflects author’s experiences regarding human psychology. Not intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments. Reader’s discretion is respected.

Last few years have witnessed an unprecedented rise in the marks scored in the NEET exam (National Eligibility Entrance Test). With students targeting for full marks, there is a cut throat competition.  Important teenage years (15-18 years of adolescence) get lost in this rat race. Students have become machines being designed to mint marks. There is decline in emotional quotient, pyschology quotient and social quotient. Blinded in their aim, these souls of future have forgotten to enjoy the journey.

Every year, there is increase in number of applicants by a lakh or more. Only few thousands or less than 5% will get the medical seat. There are two different aspects to this. One is qualifying the exam and other is getting a seat in a medical college of one’s own choice. Like my Popsie says, ‘One has to look in totality. One may or may not get what one aspires, but will definitely get what “HE” -almighty decides. “So, the best approach is to have faith in the judgement of God. Geeta also says, “ Do your work and don’t wish for the rewards.” I know easier said than done. But with continuous practice, one can move an inch closer to one’s goal.

Ever since the results have been announced, I have witnessed a spectrum of emotional states. On one hand, there are many homes which have not smiled since then, on other hand there are a handful who are in joyous state. Normally, the middle path is the best path. But in this case, the students in the middle are left confused. It’s like, “Yeh, dil mange more!” They are repenting for ticking few right choices as wrong or not leaving enough un-attempted questions. To each one their own story. This result is just a entry ticket into the medical world. The real journey has just begun.

Now, is the time to pause, rethink, before it’s too late. Medicine is a noble profession and one needs lot of compassion, patience and humbleness. In the most important years of transformation, we are pushing our gen next into this maddening race of marks. Is it really worth it? Are we creating poster candidates for our own social status?

Our warrior already knows where they have faltered and what were their strong and weak points. Is it really that important to highlight or make it obvious? At times, best approach is a non- interfering approach and let the child come out of it on their own. (Please bear in mind the emotional status of your child.)

Concluding with a humble appeal: Please celebrate and cherish your NEET warrior right now. Time will fly, the wounds will heal, what will remain with children is the memory of the behavior of their parents and teachers in this important, life transforming/ altering moments of their lives.  

Let’s help each other in creating loving memories and reminding ourselves- This moment (happy or sad) will fly away soon. Be your own pilot. 

Congratulations to each and every soul reading this and sharing this.

Love,

Juju

Social media puppet!

Social media puppet!

P.S. The title is to catch attention. Read up to find out more.

 

I was scrolling through my mobile and the above heading caught my attention. Three signs, you are in a toxic relationship! I decided to open the link to read about it. The short reel/ video mentions 3 warning signals to identify whether one is in a toxic relationship. After watching this, I was engulfed with a peculiar feeling as my score was 3/3. This set me in a thinking mode and stat my cap was on my head beaming with pride.

Numerous thoughts started churning inside my brain. How can 3 signs define whether you are in a toxic relationship? There were many such reels/ videos like 3 signs your spouse is cheating on you, 3 signs your spouse loves you and so on. I felt all these were bombarding negativity. This is like quick sand. One (wrong) click on a particular eye catchy title link leads to similar posts and within a span of few seconds the Pandora's box opens up.

Sharing the 3 signs mentioned were - First, your spouse always sounds busy whenever you call. Second, your spouse is spending less time than before and thirdly, when it comes to you, your spouse always has a financial crunch whereas they spend on themselves. I feel many of us will score 3/3. In forties, everyone deals with similar challenges besides making a livelihood. On one hand, there are parents, on other hand there are growing up children, who need constant attention and care. Anyone can experience these signs. One needs to be strong minded while reading such topics. I also feel, such type of write ups appeal more only when one is going through a lean phase in a relationship. Remember, in this game of life,  one needs to stay afloat in relationships.

In a matter of few minutes I felt being pulled into a negativity well with mighty force as my heart and soul started validating all these three signs. Suddenly, I felt an abrupt halt and yet again I felt being pulled by an unseen force, but this time in reverse, upward direction. The sky was clear and so were my thoughts and mind. I learnt yet another important lesson in a matter of few minutes. To be very cautious and careful of what one reads and to keep one’s brain in control of one’s heart/mind.

I remember my all-time favorite lines from Bhagwad Geeta, 

“Your heart is like a horse and it’s reins must be in hands of the charioteer /brain.” Whenever, there is role reversal, calamity is inevitable. Here I endorse Mahatma Gandhi’s three monkeys, “Bura matt dekho, bura matt suno, bura matt bolo.”

I hope and pray, all of us keep the reins of our heart firm and tight with our three monkeys well behaved.

Watch out for what you read, see and hear.

Keep reading, keep sharing.

Juju

The NEET Warrior

 "NEET Warrior"

PS: This write up is dedicated to all the parents, teachers and students who have appeared for NEET or are preparing for NEET.

 

The answer key of NEET (National Eligibility Entrance Test) was released yesterday. I sent a congratulatory message to one of my colleagues. There was a prompt reply, " Score is less, hope to get admission in a private college." 

Students who have scored high, or the students who have scored as per their expectation or those who have scored less, none seems to be satisfied with their performance in the exam. To keep the vibe positive, I replied “You are a parent of a NEET warrior. Salute your warrior.” The desired effect was palpable.

To become a doctor in our country, one needs to appear for NEET, which is a merit-based exam. Out of more than eighteen lakh students who appear only eighty thousand or so are able to get a gate pass to enter this medical world. Students usually start from ninth class. Exceptions are always there (some start from class sixth or maybe earlier). This requires persistence, dedication, endurance, sharp thinking, quick reflexes and a strong mindset to keep oneself motivated. Parents and teachers play a pivotal role. This is a difficult path and requires constant support (emotional is on top of the list) by parents. For teachers it a herculean task to maintain the tempo throughout the two -year duration. For parents, it’s their own child whereas for teachers, they have to keep well being of all their students in mind.

Students get used to rising up early, going for classes, preparing for tests and having a busy lifestyle. All parties, get togethers, vacations take a back seat. I always believe, ‘When the goal is big, so will be the sacrifices.” One should always enjoy their studies with the mindset to gain knowledge. Knowledge is a wealth which can never be stolen and always multiplies by sharing. Parents! please make sure that your child gets the message that he/she is not marks. The child is already under tremendous pressure to perform and enroll in a college of their choice.

Concluding this write-up (otherwise, it can stretch) with a request to change one’s mindset and see these students as NEET warriors and their parents and teachers as their army. Automatically, respect will generate from within. Let’s celebrate our warriors as the last  two years were taxing and have caused lot mental and physical stress. 

Hug your warrior and convey the message via clear conduct, “My child, you did your best,  and we love you unconditionally. You are not marks.” Filling up their emotional and psychological saucer is the need of hour.

Keep cherishing life, Keep loving life.

Juju.