"Do you love me !"

 Short story by Jujus Pearls



High school reunion – These three words cast a magic spell. It’s a moment of celebration, which many a hearts yearn for, and do preparations for the same. For few, it’s a happy trip down the memory lane. For some, it’s an occasion to be completely avoided. There is one class of middle benchers who are happy go lucky kind of souls who end up everywhere.

Steve was a healthy boy who was a favorite of his kindergarten teachers. He was good in academics and took part in all extra-curricular activities. He was popular in class. As puberty changes started, he developed a liking for girls and wanted to spend more time with them. Gradually he started withdrawing from his boys group. His keen interest in girl talks and their pubertal changes irked many of his class mates. A complaint was lodged with the class teacher. Steve was left with a strict warning and was ordered to stay with the boys of the class. From a happy, focused child, he became a withdrawn introvert. To take things in control, his parents changed his school. But his heart was in his old school. He took admission again in next session. This time he seemed confident and happy. He had long hair, just like pop stars and always smiled. Pubertal changes were missing in him, which normally happens in boys of his age. He had silky smooth facial skin and there was no sign of nay beard/ moustache. Everyone labels him as a case of delayed puberty and never bothered him. High school period came to an end. Everyone exchanged their slam books, and left with a promise to be in touch for the rest of their lives.

Fast forward, ten years. In some place is western world, a glamorous top model walks down the fashion show ramp with utmost grace and poise. The crowd is cheering madly and calling her name “Stevie”. Suddenly, the journalist (Alan) in the first row who is there to cover the fashion show wakes up from his trance. This name sounds familiar. He scratches his head and fails to remember and pin point the connection. The next model walks down the ramp and so on the show goes on. At the post show dinner, he meets with Stevie and is totally bestowed by her beauty. There is a sense of faint familiarity. Thinking it to be alcohol after effect, the journalist goes home. Before going home, he exchanges his mobile number with Stevie.

Next morning, Alan wakes up with a severe headache and is unable to get Stevie out of his mind. He prepares black coffee and sits on his working desk. Scrolling through internet, he is unable to procure information beyond ten years. This sets him thinking, that there was some mysterious past of Stevie. The more he tries to kick Stevie out of his mind; the thought comes back like a boomerang. He makes up his mind to dig out the past. He starts dating Stevie over coffee or movies. Somehow, Alan is unable to go beyond the dry good night. He is more determined and decides to check her apartment in her absence. On a routine coffee visit to her house, he manages to get her house keys impression and gets a duplicate key made. Once she is away on a weekend shoot to a distant place. Alan stealthily enters her house and begins his search. There is no record of her childhood/ school days. As he was about to abandon his search, an old album drops form the top shelf. Immediately, he recognizes it to be his school album. He glances through school class pictures. He is spellbound by what he sees. This was his class picture. He could recognize himself, but there was no face similar to Stevie. Alan takes out his magnifying glass and scans through all children faces. He finds a striking resemblance with Steve. Chain of thoughts cloud his mind, is she Steve’s twin sister or is she Steve himself?

He stumbles, gets up and leaves the house. A notification icon on his mobile breaks his trance. There is a mail from High school Alumina group informing about the high school reunion in a week’s time, Alan is perplexed by the recent discovery. He texts Stevie, requesting her to be his date for the reunion. There is no reply. He impatiently waits for Stevie’s return. Unable to hold the suspense any longer, Alan goes to the airport arrival lounge to pick Stevie. She seems visibly impressed by his gesture and smiles. They drive to a nearby restaurant for lunch. Alan pops up the question about his high school reunion. She stops eating in the middle and excuses herself to go the restroom. She goes to her house. Alan patiently waits for half an hour at the lunch table. He requests the lady staff to check the ladies restroom. To his dismay, there is no one in the restroom. For the next few days, he is unable to contact Stevie as she had blocked him.

His fears seem to be coming true. He gathers all his courage and goes to see her at her house. After much perusal, she opens the main door. The sight Alan sees is heart rendering. Stevie is standing in front of him with swollen eyes, her eye makeup had smudged all over her cheek, her hair was unkempt and she was sobbing. His heart tore and he hugged her tightly in his embrace. Slowly she looks up and remarks, “Alan, I had a crush on you since kindergarten. Do you remember Steve? The boy who enjoyed Girl Company, changed school, returned back and became an introvert!”

 Alan was silently listening, waiting for her to continue and complete. She continued, “Alan I am Steve! Do you still love me?”The ground below Alan’s feet seemed to give way and he lost his balance. His eyes popped out in disbelief, “Stevie, you are the same old Steve, now a top model! Oh gosh! I fear this.”

There was a period of few minutes’ silence which seemed like eternity. Finally, Alan spoke, “So, that’s the reason you were avoiding the High school reunion? Now I understand your inhibition. Well, I respect this and promise that we will never let the past spoil our present. Will you be my date Stevie for the high school reunion? “

Stevie smiles shyly and gives an affirmative answer. Post dinner, she reveals about the difficulties she faced due to her inclination towards being a female. So, she left her hometown and settled in distant place. Got her required surgery and gave herself a new identity. Both of them locked their hands and looked up to God. High school reunion here we come, Alan with his date Stevie. Identity of Steve was left out and everyone enjoyed reunion. Alan was eager to show off his most beautiful date. Stevie never wanted to be recognized as Steve and enjoyed as his date.

The Emotional Rising

 Original Short story by Jujus Pearls

Just like a tsunami slashes and disrupts whatsoever, who sever comes its way; similarly, an insight into our past causes a blast in our present.

A dynamic, enthusiastic, young girl in her mid thirties is the new entrepreneur holding a high position in a multinational company. With head held high, looking up at the sky, she seems to skid on the ground. Lady luck is shining bright and on her side. After all, she worked really hard with grit and determination to be at the position she is in. Despite limited resources, she climbed up the ladder of success, much to astonishment of her colleagues. Soon, she was the new Vice President of the leading law firm.

One day she received a letter from an unknown source dated twenty years ago. Moments of suspense followed as she slowly opened the seal. There was a birth certificate from a government hospital in distant town. Her hands trembled as she slid out the certificate with a covering letter. She recognized her mother’s handwriting instantaneously. Her mother had addressed the letter to her. The letter read as,

Dear daughter,

If you are reading this letter, it means I have left for the heavenly abode. I pray to God that you must have achieved whatever you always wanted to achieve and must be riding the success wave. (Tears started rolling down her cheeks. She knelt down and started crying loudly. This Christmas, she had made plans to reunite with her mother and reconcile. Now this letter was like a direct hard slap on her face. Restoring her courage she continued reading).

Sarah, my daughter! Do you remember, I used to buy toys in twin sets? And you used to ask me the reason. Well darling, the truth is, I gave birth to twins. Yes, Sarah! You have a brother who also happens to be your twin. God had other plans for him. Sam, your twin brother was born with Down’s syndrome and needed special care. Your father was not willing to keep him and we had continuous fights over this issue. One fine day, when I was nursing you, my mere six months old angel, your father snatched you from my arms and stormed out of the house. I did not see him after that. Some common friends used to give me news about you. I was left all alone with Sam. Life had hit a rough patch and unwillingly, I had to give Sam in orphanage for children with special needs. I came to know that you always despised your mother for she left you when you were six months old. Sarah, my love, please remember your mother always thought about you every living second. I thought of explaining all this twenty years ago, when you were in High school. Do you remember my love? Your father once again intervened and you left without looking back. I had given this letter to your father. I know the letter never reached as you never contacted me.

I wrote another letter and kept it safe with my lawyer with instructions that it should reach you when I am no more. So, you see, I never did any wrong to you or your brother. Situation was difficult and this was best I could do as a teenage mother. My lawyer will get in touch with you to hand over my house (my sole possession) and my car keys to you. You will see a twin admirah in my room named Sarah and Sam. All the gifts for the last thirty years are there for both of you. This birth certificate will stand by my truth. You can ask your father too. He will explain the whole truth. Please forgive your mother and your brother Sam. I am writing down address of the Orphanage where Sam lives. Now he is the General Manager of that orphanage.

If you can forgive me in this lifetime, my darling, please arrange a prayer meet in the church after my funeral, so that I may rest in peace. Please bring Sam along, and your father too if he willingly drops his anger towrads me.

Please remember, mom always loves you, remembers you and is always proud of you every single moment.

Love,

Mrs. Smith (Your mother).

By now Sarah was unconsolable. She had always thought that her mother her left her for greener pastures. This story was told by her father since childhood and endorsed by her paternal grandparents. When her father was fighting for his life last year when he was diagnosed with brain tumor, he was often seen mumbling, “I am paying for my sins! God please forgive me. “He had stopped recognizing her, used to call her Sam. Gradually, he lost his speech coherence. Her last memory was of her father’s finger pointing towards the sky and seeking forgiveness with folded hands. Thereafter his soul left his body.

This letter was like an electric jolt Sarah. All these years she had hated her mother for leaving her as an infant. Now the truth was clear in front of her eyes. She could visualize the entire life her mother might have had to face, being a single parent and later being single. She wiped her tears, read the birth certificate. A feeling of bliss and happiness ran from head to toe. In this very moment she forgave her mother and father. Both had their own reasons and behavior responses.

She placed the letter and certificate inside the envelope carefully. She cancelled her meeting schedule for the whole next week and booked a flight to the city where the orphanage was. As soon her aircraft landed, her heart started pounding at the mere thought of meeting her won brother. This feeling of “I am not all alone ‘, gave her immense power. The airport taxi was waiting at the pickup counter. She settled and let the wheels of the car take charge. City roads gave way to countryside roads, lush green trees and bushes swayed with gentle wind as if playing. Sun rays played hide and seek. Slowly, the taxi maneuvered through the curvaceous path and she found herself right in front of the orphanage.

Gathering courage, she asked for way to General Manager’s room. The bell boy smiled and said, “We all knew you will come one day. Sorry to know about Mrs. Smith’s loss.” Sarah was taken aback. As she entered the room, the chair rotated and she felt as if she was in front of the mirror. Sam was an identical twin. Sam gave a confused expression. He exclaimed, “Sarah, my little sister, not so little now.”

Sarah felt an ocean of emotions and heaviness in her heart as if her chest would explode. She regained her calmpose and hugged her brother. She felt complete. What life could not do, death had done.

Bidding a farewell to Orphanage, she flew back with Sam. They rested their mother,s coffin near their father’s grave with a message, “Life kept them apart, united by death: Mr. & Mrs. Smith." The prayer meet was attended by family and friends. Sarah felt her mother smiling from the abode of Lord.

Sam went back to the Orphanage and she continued with her work in the city. Both look forward to celebrating Christmas at their mother’s house.

The mere act of opening of one letter from the past changed Sarah’s attitude and life in that present moment forever. 

The Happiness Bubble

 Happiness Bubble

Over the past four decades, I have realized that we all live in our own minds and create a bubble which acts like a shock absorber in adverse situations of our lives.

I often used to discuss with my mother that she would portray her life as perfect and happy. She would praise her children, grand children, relatives and everyone associated with her. For her ( my mom), her husband was the best, her children and their spouses were excellent and everyone loved her and respected her. I would often remark, ‘Mom, things are not so perfect as you say so!”. She would gently ignore and reply, “ My life is blissful and God has been very kind with me always.” This continued for some years till few months before she left on her higher journey.

On a routine short visit to Delhi, over evening tea, I told my father, “ Popsie, mom lives in a make belief world where everything is perfect . Why doesn,t she face the reality ?” My Popsie replied, “Your mother is happy, why do you want to disturb her? She is in a positive, gratitude state of mind.”

Momsie came with tea, her usual smiling self and we all sipped tea in pure bliss. After this short conversation, I never ever brought up this topic with my mother and I am happy about it. She left few months later.

Seasons changed, years flew by. It,s been almost 63 months ever since my mother left. Now this same thought resurfaced. Every time, I speak to my father, he is always happy and contented, all praise for everyone. For him, his life is perfect and he feels blessed and thankful every single moment. I was on the verge on making the same mistake about showing him the harsh reality. Some unseen force held me back tightly. It seemed as if my mother was conveying from the parallel world , “ Raju, your dad is happy, let him be, why do you want to break his happiness bubble! Everyone lives in a bubble in their minds. It is very important for their emotional and mental security. Never ever puncture anyone,s happiness bubble.”

My lips curved and smile came on my face. I have a happiness bubble too.

I pray to almighty that, nobody,s happiness bubble gets punctured. Lets all stay afloat in our bubbles, bouncing higher in our lives whenever we hit a rough patch.

Love,

Juju.

The Last Promise

The Last Promise

There are promises, which we take when we solemnize the marriage. Another promise, when we see our first born and so on. Have you realized one continues to make promises during different spheres of life – sometimes with oneself, at other times with someone else or with the outer world. The authenticity of one,s life can be measured by the number of promises one honors and not makes !

Day in, day out, we are making promises, its time to wonder and question oneself – “ How many of them have we honored ?”How soon we reach the sunset of our lives, one never realizes till it,s time to bid good bye. Lucky are those who have this much time to see their final destination. For many, life is snatched untimely, accidentally and suddenly.

Whatever you want to do, please go ahead and do it. When I was about to start my college journey, besides a lot of many advises, my father gave me one very important pearl which I have kept safely. The advise was, “More than the failure, what hurts more is the regret of not doing it . I wish and pray that you try whatever you aspire for, if you fail, it s not a bad idea as you will be spared of the regret of not trying, when you are in your forties. At the maximum, the worst outcome will be failure. If you don’t try, then as it is you have lost it. Go ahead and try.”  This gave me immense strength and power. I was armed with my parent’s wishes and God and books as my soul mates as I set on this worldly journey.

Drop the excuses, start honoring your promises and witness the infinite power of your mind and soul. Let every promise, be like your last promise. Unburden your heart here and now.

The last promise my momsie took from my popsie was to be strong as she was handing over her duties to him. To take care of himself well, so that their children could focus on their goals, to dress her like a bride during her last journey as he had brought her into the house, when they got married. The beautiful bond of more than fifty four years was concluded with this last promise. To this day, popsie is honoring this promise in full faith and spirits. At times, he does feel tired and requests her that he wants to join her. My momsie, strong determined lady, discourages him and says, ‘ Our children need you more, I am fine , don’t worry !”.

As I write the concluding part of my first book as “An Ode to my momsie”, tears get dried up in my eyes as I am reminded of my last promise.

Love,

Juju

A lot can happen over tea# Tea time sermons!

A lot can happen over tea# Tea time sermons!

Tea is my household is a ritual. The aroma of brewing tea in the pot at my mother,s house early mornings spreads a magic spell. That first tea which my mother made for my father and for us too had an altogether divine taste. We would get up early morning just to sit with my parents and sip tea. Going to sleep afterwards is another story. Usually, our little discussions were like sermons with either a moral at the end or a thought to ponder upon.

Having lived a beautiful life for more than four and half decades on this blue planet, I find it a moral duty to share, what I have learnt. Discussions between parents and children are very essential for over all development of this relation. Confidence is instilled in children and they develop a thinking mind. Sharing one,s (refer to parents ) own childhood/college days experiences is the magical key which opens any communication lock. An authentic share always strikes a chord. By the time, one is ready to face this world, one should be armed with all the knowledge. Experience will be individual as no two experiences can ever be the same.

I always believe to understand life one should befriend philosophy too. It gives just the right amount of flavor. Reading books by recommended authors is a must in the path of spiritual growth. Many years ago, I did Landmark course – basic, advanced and SELP       (self experience learning program). The mool mantar (most important composition) is something which we all know and have been taught by our parents. Sir Deepak Chopra,s 21 day meditation course, Robin Sharma,s wise books, Rhonda Byrne,s Secret, Chicken Soup for the soul by Mark Victor and Jack Canfield (to name a few) have been like a multi- vitamin supplement for nourishment of my soul.

If one goes in depth of any new idea of yesteryears like Buddhism and so on, one realizes the work needs to be done at core level. One can only work on oneself. All that we seek outside is already within us. Live life beautifully, fully and create your own life. Happy soul searching!

Find your own magical key!

Take Care,

Juju.

Inner Engineering# Sadhguru

Inner Engineering# Sadhguru

There comes a point in every one,s life, which defines the point of arrival in the journey of life. The questions – Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? What do I want? If such questions keep coming up in your mind, I bet you must be on one of the paths of spirituality.  

Just like every building has a foundation, similarly every concept/ theory has a basis. It takes many years before theories are tried and then either accepted or rejected. A abstract base always intrigues the mind and keep on bouncing back and forth in our lives. Scientific base always takes time to percolate and is there to stay.

Inner engineering by Sadhguru appeals to a scientific mind. The mechanics of life, acceptance, ways of living and creating life are dealt in a step by step manner in a scientific way. Many of the cobwebs are dusted and what remains is a clear shining mind. Let,s not go into detail of heart, mind and brain. Out of these three, mind is the powerhouse.  There are seven sessions of nearly ninety minutes each. The coherence and flow is so magical that one cannot leave in between.

God created human beings and kept all the tools inside as a safety measure. Now, the search is on and outside. Let,s take time to dwell upon inside and discover the tools.  

Happy inner engineering # worth a try.

Take Care,

Juju.

RAJYOG MEDITATION- My experience # my words

Rajyog Meditation- My experience#my words:

Having tried different roads to progress on path of spiritual journey, Brahmakumari,s has been one of my favorite route. The very concept of Rajyog Meditation has intrigued me since many years. After two failed attempts whereby, I left this course midway, finally I could do it few days ago. The whole concept is on thought process. It teaches us to give positive affirmations to your mind and tune it in that bandwidth.

In Art of Living by Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji, the crux is on breath. In Rajyog, the crux is on thought. It’s a seven days program with a daily devotion of pure sixty minutes. The whole concept of soul and its inherent powers is explained in a story form. During the program, there is self realization that, all that we seek outside, is already within us.

God has created a master piece in form of human being. Human mind is most powerful reserve on this planet Earth, whose potential has not yet been tapped to even a respectable level. Everything starts in one, s mind. Once the seed of thought is sowed, the same plant is bound to grow. One should be very careful in sowing seeds. All the positive thoughts will elevate to a higher orbit whereas, negative thoughts will pull you with force into an empty well (the depth of which is not yet determined).

As we cleanse our body every day, it,s is imperative to clean our mind too. One is never taught about mental cleansing, all the effort is on the outside. As one faces the challenges of life, many of us are left in search of the correct path. For those in pursuit of inner peace and spiritualism, life seems to be dual faced – simple yet complex. As one grows from infancy to childhood to adolescence to young age, unknowingly, our soul gets covered by unwanted layers. It,s a gradual process. So, removing the layers will also take time. Have patience, practice Rajyog meditation. The stress is on – “Being your own king (Raja jaisa yog karo- practice yog like a king)”.

This is a continuous process, ongoing throughout the day in which one tends to give a positive thought for a day as the day dawns. Every hour or so, one should remind oneself of this affirmation (even if for 5-10 seconds). This is not of one week duration, rather a lifelong process. This, when repeated regularly becomes ingrained as our value. Gradually, as one progresses on this path, with each thought as task for the day, the soul shines in its original form- The light is so striking, pure and blinding.

Just as we cleanse our body daily, it,s crucial to clean our soul too.

Happy soul cleansing! Follow the path of spirituality.

Create your yog like a king# Rajyog meditation.

Take Care,

Juju