An
Open Letter #Part 2
To,
Children of the Universe,
I can only try and understand what you are going
through. I will not go into your life. Rather I want to give you a glimpse
about my life at your age and maybe few years here and there.
Have you ever felt – “I am alone, I have no friends,
I feel weird, I am always left out while other groups join in for fun, I feel
like an outcast, My friends talk to me only when they need me, I am always
available for my friends and not vice versa, My friends don’t reply to my text
messages or see the messages and just ignore and the worst feeling is –I wish I
was dead.
If the answer is yes, please proceed further.
I was youngest of all siblings. My facial features
were unlike others in my family, broad nose, chinky eyes and fair complexion.
At times, I felt alien in my own family. My elder sisters were brilliant in
studies and toppers of their class and sections. I was a jovial, naughty soul
who studied what was required to pass with dignity. Teachers would come, ask me
to stand up, with a questioning glance ask “Do you have the same genes like
your elders siblings?” How come they are amongst the toppers and you are at the
rear end. I could hear giggles of my classmates. Internally, I would cry and my
tears would go through my nose into my throat.
In class seven I lost marks in Sanskrit term paper
as I wrote something else than what was asked, There was a difference of one maatra
which I didn’t see. When answer sheets were distributed, I took up the matter
with the concerned teacher only to realize, I was a myopic. I got spectacles
and was shy to wear. During our times, people were labeled as four eyed. People
would mock and say, “You have four eyes, yet you didn’t see?” The stigma
attached is much similar to body shaming in today times. I was so embarrassed
and at times felt ashamed and outcast. There was no concept of rimless or fancy
spectacles. So, what I got was a thick rimmed black spectacle. Thanks to one of
my friends who encouraged me to wear it in class and complimented me. Later, I
realized nobody was bothered about my looks. It was all in my mind.
Coming year, I got my tryst with orthodontist and
had braces. Thanks to my parents who identified that I was shy while smiling
and would place my right hand to cover my mouth while laughing or while clicking
family pictures. And soon big metallic braces gleamed with pride for next two years.
I always looked at other girls and thought I never fitted in. I was unlike
other normal girls of my age groups who ever very feminine. There was constant
comparison with my elder sister about my weight. The joke which went was, 2
years younger and 3 kg heavier. This particular joke lowered my self esteem for
quite some time till I shed extra kilos after my tenth boards.
There was nepotism all throughout. Classmates who
had their parents as teachers in our school were given most important roles and
even during Assembly or school choir, I was never in front, always in the back,
my mother had ingrained me about the importance of participation than being a
winner or being in limelight. Once I was replaced form the post of Queen to a
maid. There were times when my lengthy dialogues were cut to mono-syllables or
just nods. I just kept on going. Thinking things would change post class tenth.
Classes 11th & 12th had different
set of challenges. Competition, jealousy, trust issues, insecurities and fear
of not being able to fit in the social mold and being missed out (now a day called FOMO.) This can go
for few extra pages,
I will conclude by sharing my coping mechanisms.
1) Share
with your parents especially mother. Get correct information from them rather than
your peer group.
2) Make yourself a priorty and strive to become better. It should be ME Vs ME.
3) When you feel engulfed by negative thoughts,
the first best thing is to write it down. Then read what you have written and
seek help accordingly.
4) All
flowers bloom in their own timeline. So, do not compare a lotus or a rose with
a sunflower or a marigold. If you are not feeling 100% means your bloom time is
still due.
5) Inculcate
the habit of praying to God. By assuming a folded hand pose, one surrenders to
God. And God loves all his children fairly in same weighing balance. God has no
favorites. Loving oneself is akin to loving God.
6) Focus
on your growth – your studies besides your health. Be so self caring that you
become a power house of magnet. People will be attracted towards your magnetic personality
Finally, in college, I became a swan from an ugly
duckling. Really ? No! it was all in my mind. I believe I am a limited edition
soul # God’s favorite.
Appeal to children, to
share their coping mechanisms as I did mine.
Love,
Juju’s Pearls.