YASODHRA aka GOPA# BUDDHA,s WIFE

Netflix#Buddha#Episode27

Yashodhra Siddharth Gautam#Buddha,s wife

Vajrasana , my favourite pose for studying and writing. In my endaevour to keep myself positive and happy, I shortlisted Buddha serial as my quarantine serial. Each episode is so well scripted and depicted that one feels like watching it again and again. Every time, I watch a particular episode again, I learn something new. The depth of this particular episode hit a chord deep in my heart. 

Yashodra, wife of Prince Siddharth was a strong minded, independent lady. A lady, way ahead of times in her thoughts and decisions. She married the man she loved. She was intelligent to know that someone in the palace was not happy with her marriage. There are many such more incidences which highlight this. 

What left an impact was, the love and understanding she had, rather they had. Even though it must have been dramatically projected to gain TRP, yet there must be some truth. Prince Siddharth was upset, post war and nightmares haunted him. She handles the sensitive situation with utmost maturity and sensibility. She remarks,” I can bear the pain of separation but cannot bear the pain of seeing you ( her husband) suffer every minute”. She requests him to leave on his journey to find the cause of pain and misery at night. It takes immense courage and wisdom to understand your spouse,s pyschology and motivate him/her to pursue on his/her path.

I am deeply touched by their unconditional love, infact she is a true ardhangini. She chooses to stay back and take care of their son and his family. Behind every successful man, there is a woman behind him. The discussion was entirely between them, they never consulted anyone. This is one core truth of marriage- discussions should be between husband and wife, there should be no space for any third person. One should have mutual faith and respect. This inspiring episode holds few such key commandments to a successful marriage.

During my school days, I was always under the impression (formed by reading Amar Chitra Katha,s, Tinkle, Target and Reader,s Digest etc) that Prince Siddharth leaves his wife and son in the middle of night (sounds so cruel and selfish). 

Yashodhra,s actions endorsed that a woman is complete on her own and she can single handedly raise her/their child and even look after her in laws. Her role though undermined in history had a pivotal role in Buddha,s journey.

I wind up with a feel that human mentality and nature has remained more or less the same, only change is in way of dressing, technology and connectivity. Infact, in earlier times, they were more organzied and had more common sense. Anyone can choose to differ, I will respect that. 

Take care,

Love, 

Juju

Meditation #Corona way of life

Meditation #Corona way of life

“Meditation is a way of life”. I endorse this phrase with full conviction and belief. This is an art which can be learnt by oneself.  No second person can help you. Like Buddha says, It’s a method which needs to be practiced by oneself to imbibe it. There is no guru or school which can serve it as a ready made thing on platter. I believe even few minutes of meditation – thoughtless mind in sync with one,s inner self can do wonders to our mind and immune system.

Today, I learnt yet another aspect of this spiritual process.  I sat for meditation with a mind full of thoughts, as if it was a war zone with invisible fight between the positive and negative thoughts. After initial few minutes of chaos, I settled and could catch on my thoughts one by one. I could vividly see them as useful and useless and sorted them in few minutes. There was tremendous calmness followed by a sense of clean breathing and thoughtless mind. I am happy to share that this space is absolutely phenomenal and one can attain this by regular practice. This is the actual cleansing process which needs to done at regular intervals.

Like BK Sister Shivani says, “Every morning you check whether you have charged your mobile? From now on ask yourself did you charge yourself first?”

I cannot enumerate on what I gained in this cleansing ceremony, but definitely I lost a lot. I lost my irritability, my false ego, my anger, my negative and sarcastic thoughts. This is one loss, from which you gain. There were so many issues on my mind and believe me I discarded more than ninety percent of them within few minutes of meditation. Imagine the amount of energy I saved from spending on them. 

I feel lighter, bouncier in my head and fully receptive.

Please adopt meditation as a way of life.There are numerous ways to do, follow the one which suits your style.

Stay safe # stay indoors.

Love,

Juju

My little monk - Part 3

My little monk - Part 3

Hello everyone,

Hope all of you are doing great and adjusting well in this new “Corona way of life”. My Popsie,s pet tag line, I am a learner till my last breath. One ceases to grow the moment one stops learning. With this pearl embedded in my heart and soul, I try to learn from each and every person in my surroundings, be it my family or friends or patients or society. Being a parent of two teenagers, I can vouch every moment of our lives is awesome, adventurous and challenging with new thought processes and interpretations emerging from the ends of teenage spectrum - 13 year to 19 year.

Recently, one of my subconscious habit, was surfaced out into my conscious plane. My little monks remarked, “Mom, please refrain from answering on our behalf in front of elders. We know you try to answer in an amicable and diplomatic way to avoid displeasure many a times. We appreciate this but, please, let us answer and handle the situation in our own way.”

After a long time, this remark brought out my thinking cap from the closet and soon, I was in my favorite meditation pose, thinking !!!

Unknowingly, I have intervened innumerable times since they learnt how to walk and talk and am, still holding on to their hands (please read as speech). They are an intelligent, focused generation which is very clear in their mind and soul. I should not try to modify or alter their creative responses by copy/pasting my responses from my past experiences?  This is great injustice to the child. Internally, I seek forgiveness from almighty. I make a pledge with myself that I will let them handle their responses and will focus on my own. In case, they seek help, I will just suggest them. It,s for them to either take it or leave it.

Soon, my elder monk comes to my place of solace and blurts out, I knew mummy, that you must be thinking on a remark which happened earlier, rather in past .

Why do you think so much about a simple remark? Leave it and focus on present and enjoy as your Momsie# my nani always says, “Live in the moment”! 

I come back in the present, firmly secure the knots of my thinking cap and get up to make wonderful cuppa of ginger tea for my family. At times, I fail to understand, do our children know us more than we know them??? 

Lot many thoughts are churning in my mind. Will come back soon after tea break. 

Till then be a learner. Your children are your teachers in this path of parenthood. 

Listen to them and enjoy the journey.

Love,

Juju

NETFLIX#BUDDHA #EPISODE 34

BUDDHA#ENLIGHTED ATMA

Currently, mankind is going through one of the best phases of their lives: even though it is endangered by a micro-organism aka Corona virus whose size is infinitely small as compared to highly evolved multi cellular organism, namely human being. We may not be fully aware of this fact that this lock down will shape us for the present and future with a transformation – long-long awaited.

Each one is trying to utilize their time in the best possible way. Besides, the multiple hidden talents, I harbor, I have also started to enjoy my sofa (neglected since a long time) in my lobby which has a huge TV to compliment. I came across one series –Buddha on Netflix, based on life story of Prince Siddharth of Kapilvastu who attained enlightment and became Buddh. He was a man ahead of times whose teachings and principles have stood the test of times. There are some 55 episodes and “Episode 34 “is a must watch for all. In this episode, he attains enlightment. His principles which he made from self experience are priceless. Meditation, truthfulness, faithfulness, middle path, nirvana ,etc are all in sync with nature. 

During the last few centuries, man has gradually lost contact with nature and the result is in front of us.After all, we call it as Mother nature and like a mother, she has given us umpteen chances to mend our ways – natural calamities etc, Human being like a stubborn child has time and again failed to listen to his mother. The current situation is the end result of a tight slap in our face which has shaken us to the core. Time to re-think, time to re-assess, time to rewind our actions and ponder .It all seems like a big dream which will vanish once we open our eyes. 

The new era demands life style modifications, with full honesty and integrity. We all exist in our minds, as we feel though shall we see. A happy mind finds warmth in the scorchiest sun and an unhappy mind seeks resentment in the most pleasant weather.

During my residency days in Tata memorial hospital, Mumbai, I learnt that everything is in one,s own mind – Life is like one big mind game where start and end is already written, in between one has to manage. One must ensure to be a great script writer as one candle is enough to light the darkness. Each moment I live to realize that life is happening now- live in the moment (my momsie,s tag line).

Let,s all pledge to write a beautiful story which will inspire many and live in the moment- not past nor future. With this, I wind up my magic pen.  

Meditation# mind cleansing# aligned happy positive thoughts.

Close your eyes for few moments and dwell inside, all that we need is already within us. 

Why are we searching it outside ?????

I take your leave with a promise to be back soon,

Love,

Juju

Lockdown 2.0#Reel to real life story.

Lockdown 2.0 # Reel to real life story.

With lockdown 2.0 till May 3, once again life has given another chance to indulge in path of self discovery. This write up is dedicated to my dear friend, an Ex army person Major.

Last 100 days or so has brought out innumerable changes in ways of human life with all belief system being shaken, questioned, all worship places being closed, so on . One thing which has time and again established itself is Science and the entire team behind. Hats off, to all my dear fellow front line doctors and para-medics. May God bless them with all the courage, health , adequate PPE,s and peace.

Let me take you on an inner journey of a young girl. She was her papa,s princess and had same rights as her brother in this male dominated society. Her zest for studies, love for exploring life landed her in medical school. A born multi-talented, expressive outspoken personality , army was her foray. Never in her dreams she had wondered that soon her bed of roses would start bearing thorns. A wrong mismatch with subsequent divorce left her bruised and shattered. Could life be so brutal on this little pious young girl ? As time drifted, she gathered herself and lived a fulfilling life , ticking things off her bucket list.

Man is a social animal. You need a companion in this journey of life , more as to witness your moments of joy and share moments of sadness. Her parents were happy with her as she was a so called Yes man to her parents particularly her father. As a parent, her father was in control (Really ! control) of his child ( a lady in her thirties actually).  I always wonder what supreme thrill, parents gets by controlling their children ( emotions too!)

Yearn for life partner led to exploring shaadi.com kinda sites. For each one of us, God has created someone # Jisse tum dhoond rahe ho: who tumhe dhoond raha hai.

Inspite of going in the best amicable way, her father got infuriated at her proposed match. Reason ? out of caste ? out of religion etc , in reality a father,s ego was bruised as to how his child was able to find a suitable match while he had failed 5 years ago which had led to a divorce. A man rather father with wounded ego is much more dangerous than a man eater tiger or a rogue elephant. I will leave the entire home scene to individual reader,s imagination and discretion. After all we have seen enough bollywood movies/ TV soap operas to be a script writer in above scene where a daughter brings home her proposed match to meet with her parents.

To cut the long story short, this young lady fails in convincing her parents, moves into accommodation where she works. With help of some common friends, a court marriage happens and they live happily ever after. 

But……….  Picture abhi baaki hai dost! Jo ending happy nahin , iska matlab who end nahin hai.

Melodrama happens typical like an Ekta Kapoor serial, log kya kaheinge? Apne baap ki izzazat mitti me mila di , kahin ka nahin chhoda, etc…….. Parents stopped talking to her rather cut off the cord and discourage their family members even to interact /congratulate her .

Pause ! breathe ! chill!

This is the point, where I feel the society needs to awaken and shake their conscience, as to where are we heading ? why do we want to control our children,s life- throughout  ? why can,t we treat our children as individuals and respect their decisions ( in this case, I am talking about a woman in her thirties), why don,t we cherish our children and take pride in their actions?

If your child wants to lead his/her own life in their own way , instead of supporting them, why the parent wants to discourage them/ emotionally drain them into thinking that they will regret ( later! So what!).

My favorite quote to my daughter is
“ We ( parents) have given you wings to fly, and not to chop them off or tie them when your time comes to fly !”

Be a support system for your children. Learn to treat them as individuals and empower them.

As Sadhguru says, “ Children come through you, you don’t own them.”

Children are children of future. Let them be free. As a parent, our duty is to nurture them, love them, and see how they will make themselves into human beings with purpose.

Try and understand that the only difference is that we as parents have arrived some 25-30 years earlier than them.

Promise to be back soon with another story.    

Take Care,

Juju.   

    

Lockdown#Life reclamation Project

Lockdown#Life reclamation Project

Hello,

This sudden lock down seemed as if, rollercoster of the life was brought to an abrupt halt with many of us found ourselves hanging in mid air, clueless , as to what was happening.

I see this as a Project by God for welfare of mother earth and humanity. So, I coined the term   “ Life reclamation Project”. For once, the time seems to have ceased just like in motion pictures and we have this golden/ diamond opportunity to ponder upon from where we started our journey on this planet Earth and where are we heading! Is our steering wheel in the right direction? Are our efforts in coherence with well being of all beings on this blue planet?

With these thoughts, my mind drifts to another side of this lockdown# flip side. This time period will never come back in our lives (hopefully never) but the seeds it will sow now, will bear fruits in future. Out of many positive things which this will bring, I will mention few. 

With everyone in lockdown mode, life has slowed its pace, as if earth is rotating leisurely with ample of time left inspite of finishing our chores. The indoor board games – monopoly, cards, carom boards, Chinese checkers etc, badminton rackets, skipping ropes, balls are now in everyone,s life space especially children. After initial steep hike in screen viewing, the screen time has automatically declined. With eating out places being shut down including Zomato /Swiggy, the long lost chef gene in mothers (children too, in some cases fathers too) is raising its baby head and making presence felt. Meal times are more fun. Kitchen seems like an adventure theme park with different dishes coming out of pans instead of being stacked cookery books. Every nook and corner of your house is feeling wanted and cherished. This is one great time to dwell upon and bring out at least one hidden talent which was in hibernation. 

The XX genotype is working round the clock to make this lockdown a success. No prize for guessing who,s the boss of this blue planet ? This time, also defies the common saying –“Man is a social animal.” Everyone is content within one,s own family, living in harmony with thy neighbour. 

Peace is prevailing all over, or is it Silence before the storm?

With this thought, I will sign off to catch you soon.

Till then, stay safe, stay indoors

Love,

Juju

Self discovery#Black hole theory

The Black hole Theory!

This is dedicated to my dear friend Twinkle who helped me in this discovery

Hello everyone,

It,s been a nearly two months time since I met my blog. Numerous activities/errands were on my mind and there was a pause -‘Statue”! lockdown as announced by our worthy PM –followed by Janta curfew which has been extended till mid April.

Being home is a bliss#24 hr meditation#ample of time#fun. Numerous thoughts/ideas pop up, linger for some time and then die a natural death. This particular theory caught my fancy.

There,s one Black Hole in cosmos as we all know. I discovered another Black hole during self quarantine period. Keep guessing !!!!!!!!!

Let me take you along on this discovery. “Mummy ! I am hungry!” says your elder child, echoed by your younger one, your spouse joins in chorus. Fine! You tend to make something interesting, appetizing, different, low calorie, etc to suit three entirely different taste buds form different galaxies. Correct! you read it all right. You make some dish to the best of your ability and culinary skills and proceed to take some rest.

Bingo! comes another voice (this time your spouse,s) “Suno, kuch badiya banaa do!”

Abhi to banaya aur khilaya – my self-defense answer ( always)

There is an unusual sense of disbelief in air which is snapped by “ Achha!”

Once again you enter your karmshetra, rather kurukshetra armoured with your you tube videos and your skills. Mission successful.  Everything seems just perfect. With a sense of pride akin to victorious warrior, you treat yourself to a cuppa of hot ginger tea. As you are about to settle on your favorite bean bag, almost when you are in mid air, your spell is broken by anguished voice of your younger one, Mummy ! where are you ? my tummy is rumbling with hunger !.

Without enjoying the comfort of my beanbag, I stand up and head towards the kitchen.

My younger one is beaming from ear to ear. Mom! Let,s make something interesting! (fingers drumming on kitchen shelf and eyebrows doing sapera dance). Mother in me doesn’t want to spoil a kid,s hope. So, once again, I am into making something exiting, different, tasty,…..etc.

This keeps on repeating from dawn till dusk!.........

Twilight is my moment of great discovery ! my spouse and both children have a black hole in their stomach/body. Where the food goes , no one knows. What I know is they keep on asking for more and more to feed this black hole with complete (read as convenient) amnesia to previous food history.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Dedicated to all mothers like me who are dealing with this during self quarantine period.

Hope my discovery makes your days easy.        

Stay tuned, will be back more often.

Love,

Take Care,

Juju.   

PARENT OF AN AVERAGE CHILD

Disclaimer: This is a post from unknown source. Edited to suit my style and taste .

PARENT OF AN AVERAGE CHILD

I often get asked, .... Your child must be good in maths , science, studies
in general... I simply say no, he is not.
My child is average.
Am I ashamed to say this?  Yes?
No !
Should I be lying that he is the best in something which he is not, in front of others? Definitely No !

My child is that average child who people fail to notice either for not being at the top or being at the bottom. People fail to notice the sweet smile, funny talks, tight hugs,  friendly personality, kind behaviour, mild manners, helpful nature because he is JUST an average child.

The school, society celebrates children who are top scorers or good in sports and extra-curricular, which rightfully they should.

Amidst all this, my average child who is a spectator and cheers his friends with full heart goes unnoticed. His  love for sports ,(even when he knows he is not going to be selected for school team)  his love for music (even though he knows he is not going to be selected for school choir) never diminishes. He does all this to enjoy it rather to compete.

Am I a parent, who is not strict with him for not scoring at the top. Yes, I am strict to an extent and have lost my cool many times in the past.
His words pierced through me when my 11 year old child asked, "Mom, do you not respect me for who am I "?

How many of us thought we should respect children?  We adults demand our respect each and every moment of our life. Why not a child?

Among children preparing for IIT,  MBBS even at a tender age of 11 years ( I feel it's cruel ,akin to killing childhood in pursuit of trophy child competition). My average child is talking about traveling the world, meeting new people ,a reading new books of different genre's, tasting  different cuisines.

My average child might or might not become a doctor, astronaut, scientist But he is sure to grow up to be a good person, who will spread cheer, happiness and positivity.

Last but not least: a message for ONE and ALL
*Notice the average child. All that child wants is a smile or a kind word from us adults for just being their true self ,and to give assurance to trust the world.
Please refrain from making Xerox copies of our own selves.
They are children of future.
For generations to evolve : let us help in maintaining their originality.

Each child is different, so is each parenting Style.

Love,
Juju 

Society ! are you ready for empowered women?

DISCLAIMER- THIS WRITE UP IS NOT INTENDED TO HURT ANYBODY,S SENTIMENT. BASED ON REAL LIFE INCIDENTS

Society ! are you ready for empowered women?

Women empowerment has always intrigued me especially gender equality. Women should never strive to be equal to men or follow their footsteps - if a man can do, why can,t I ?
Everyone needs to understand that god created man and woman from entirely different mould, their brain wiring, physical attributes etc are from different sets. To compare anything, the qualities must be similar and in this case, they are poles apart; so how can we compare men and women.

Why not cherish our own individual characteristics? Why not be a better your own good self. When society talks about women empowerment, an invisible label stating women you are inferior is already pasted on the forehead. Where on one hand, you make a woman feel inferior, on the other you try and talk about upliftment ! A woman herself is complete as she has power to create and nurture.
Are we training our men enough to be ready for this new independent, educated, self sufficient women ?

As a woman entrepreneur, it is a daily struggle to keep your workplace in a peaceful working condition. Your friendly neighbourhood (comprising of male gender) can,t seem to digest the fact that a woman is running her own workplace for nearly two decades with entirely female staff, smoothly and peacefully. They take it on themselves to create trouble on every occssion , be it blocking the parking area or throwing their waste/dirty water in front of main gate or just staring at your clients etc.

When she shifts a motorbike to create parking space for her own vehicle, onlookers keenly watch her every movement/rather every millimeter of shift without offering any help. Basic humanity seems to have vanished.

Can you expect compassion or help from such a bunch of mindsets, if any untoward incident happens to a woman? They stand like helpless, naive four legged species. It seems as if they feel tied by unseen shackles which prevents them from coming forward to help : how can we prevent sexual abuses/acid attacks/other shameful sins ?

To prove ourselves as highest evolved species , we need to be aware of the responsibilities and duties which comes in this package.

The path is long and winding before we reach towards a society/ place of close to perfect, compassionate healthy mindset people.

Feeling hopeful and confident, we will.

All that is required is each one changing one,s own mindset.

Love,
Juju 

Modern age sin#Stress#necessity Vs choice

Modern age sin#Stress#necessity Vs choice

These days stress is a word used by every second person, age no bar, caste, profession no bar. Even a two year child says, "Life mein bahut stress hai !" Students, professionals or homemakers or elderly everyone justifies themselves by using this word. Stress is an alibi for all the unfavorable /unwanted outcomes.

It seems as if basics have been forgotten that it,s ones own duty to be happy and peaceful. We need to seek inside. Whatever we need is already within us: sad part is everyone is seeking it from outside, hence in this pursuit, fails in every attempt leading to dissatisfaction and boom pops up the modern age sin " Stress".

This word is loosely used without understanding in depth, the actual meaning. Stress is the difference between expectations and reality (to put it simply) and has various forms like physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, workplace, financial etc. In which ever sphere we are involved, there is bound to be difference in expectations and reality: hence various forms of stress.

Put yourselves in gratitude mode, have complete faith in almighty our creator. Life will become stress free. As mentioned in Holy Gita, " Whatever happens: happens for a reason and for our good. We can not forsee what almighty sees. Have complete faith and move on ". After all the first and last chapters are already written, need to manage in between.

"Our word is our world" is a famous saying. One can change one,s life by changing one,s dictionary of day to day life. As a beginner in this new world of words, try labeling problems as challenges, outcomes as just results, mistakes as experiences. Gradually, one realize the positive impact and becomes a master creator of his/her own dictionary.

Some believe stress is necessary for growth. Stress is not a necessity to live life to the fullest rather a hindrance.  Keep your remote in your own hands and press the reset as often as possible, one will be one step closer to stress free life.

Take Care,

Juju.

Roads#Life lessons

Roads# Life lessons

Morning time, school time, drive time, holy time, when you connect
with the almighty in fleeting seconds almost instantly.
Traffic signal caught my attention while driving my son to school today morning. Morning calm and serenity is disturbed by driver’s honking even
at redlight as if the driver ahead ( me)is oblivious to the traffic signal.

It was clear that the next traffic signal lights were in coherence with the above said light. Immediately my thinking cap was on. Why everyone is in such a hurry to cross the red light. Red light is akin to moments of pauses in our lives to think and introspect, whether my ship is navigating in the right direction or do I need to steer, and assess the path ahead.
Even if we cross this red light by overtaking, we need to stop at the next one. So, what’s the hurry?
Let the engine rest (vehicles as well your own body ), then take the best shot in first gear and cross both the green lights at one go maintaining a good speed and saving on fuel and wear tear.
A simple traffic signal emanates so much energy and life’s theory.

Next came the speed breakers on the road. All the vehicles at different positions and speed came to halt, especially the ones at high speed had to make an abrupt halt to cross over. Eventually, all vehicles were at the same pace and position.

Have you ever wondered why these speed breakers are made at the most important roads/ places like-school, temples, residential areas, busiest market places, offices, etc?
The reason is life in these areas is concentrated and hence, very precious. It's time to slow down your speed, cherish life, maneuver slowly and steadily over the speed breaker to avoid hitting your vehicle from below.
Maintain a slow and steady pace, so that speed breakers# challenges in life can be overcome smoothly. The faster the pace, the more abrupt the halt and chances of jolt/injury increase.

The first chapter and last chapter has already been written.
In between, one has to manage.
Happy managing in-between parts of our lives.

Love,
Juju