18th/19th June# my tryst with love & grief

18^th/19^th June# my tryst with love & grief

*P.S. It’s not a sad blog

In my family, we remember 18^th June as day of “Death of a saint.”As on this day in heaven, Baikunth doors were open. As per Hinduism, in the year 2015 this day was the most auspicious day for any soul to leave the mortal coil to be with the Almighty as God himself was welcoming such noble, pious souls. These thoughts help a little bit in coming terms with the loss of my mother # Momsie. My Maa, lived life on her own terms and left this world as per her own will.

Rewinding back by twenty three years, I alighted from Mumbai-New Delhi Rajdhani express on this day (18th June). This one forward step on the New Delhi railway station changed my life forever. 

On 19^th June, I met the love of my life and my status changed from single to engaged. Fast forward sixteen years, grief engulfed me as we lit my mother’s pyre. A part of me went with her in the pyre. Every year these two days bring a tsunami of mixed emotions. Just don’t know how to feel during this week. Life shows it's two faces simultaneously. I guess! That’s what life is all about, a mix bag of emotions. 

With a heart full of gratitude, I feel humbled as I share my Book “MOMSIE POSPIE DAIRY Tea time chit chat on living life” has created a buzz and recognition in the Literary world with 12 awards and 3 nominations. Four anthologies have already been launched and another four are in the publishing stage. 

I also seek blessings and support for my much awaited second solo book, which is in pre publishing stage. Book launch will be in fall this year. Details will be regularly updated.

For those who missed out reading my literary award winning book, I am sharing the links as a separate  blog. It is available as paperback and e-book on all e-commerce sites in India and International market. Kindly share in all your groups -family, friends  and outer circle.

Do order your copy today. A perfect gift for self and someone you love.

Keep reading, keep sharing.

Love,

Juju

Does truth exists ?

Does truth exists?

 

Of late, truth has intrigued me. How do we quantify a truth? Does it really exist? If yes, then who defines it?

In ancient times, there were clear demarcations between right / wrong, true/false, ethical/ unethical etc. As mankind evolved, the demarcation line seems to have blurred. The transition zone has been gradually expanding and absorbing from either side. In later half of last century, there have been many movements related to empowerment, liberation and equality which have also contributed.

Everyone has their own sets of truths. Universal truth still holds the highest position. Man is busy in his own pursue of truth so much so that the universal truth is often overlooked. This process starts building up since childhood and goes on throughout life. It’s an ongoing process. A neutral person can help in finding out the truth.

Situations which are being encountered these days are different. A person standing on head end of table will read the letter 6 as 9, whereas the person standing on the foot end of the table will vouch for 6. In this context, both are right. Consider another situation of a person living on south side of equator and other person living on north of equator. The timings, weather, sun rays etc will be completely opposite. Both will speak their truth, only thing is their truth won’t match! 

My thinking cap magically sits on my head as I ponder, is there any concept of right and wrong, true/false? Anything in synchrony with nature and for benefit of mother Earth is right and the truth. It is all about one’s own perspective and willingness to step into other person’s shoes. Life will become much simpler and fun filled, if we attempt to understand the other person’s view point.

Till a certain age, say till one completes education, this should be in black and white. As one explores beyond his own comfort zone and enters forties, there is a sense of liberation and acceptance. Realization dawns upon that everything is right, true and ethical. It’s all a matter of one’s own perspective and willingness to accept other person’s point of view too. If my viewpoint doesn’t match yours, learn to accept my truth too and keep your truth to yourself.

If we transform our vocabulary to true/ more true, right/ more right, ethical/ more ethical, etc, this world will become heaven. And, when the time comes to leave and enter God’s land, I bet God will ask, “So, how was heaven?”

Love,

Juju

We meet to part and we part to meet!

We meet to part and we part to meet! 

 

We cross paths for a reason. There is a divine purpose behind every soul we meet in this journey of life. Many a times, God sends just the right person who helps up in wading through difficult times. Whenever one feels in midst of challenging times, a gentle reminder that the situation is temporary and will pass off helps in facing it. Such challenges are ‘His” way of expressing his love, concern and the need for that particular soul to evolve.

The only thing constant in this universe is ‘Change’. Yet, we live life with certainty and seek stability. Still water stagnates, harbor algae formation. Everyone likes a change and seeks a break from the monotony/ routine. 

There are certain changes which our soul doesn’t approve. Like children leaving home, high school student entering college, graduation days nearing completion with hostel days coming to an end. Even changes as simple as changing one’s sleeping place, eating place, study pace, parking place, trying a different meal menu, to name few. What is constant, humans tend to fight against it, tries to go against nature. Many of us try to swim against the wave. The best approach at times is to have faith in God and swim with the wave. This gives the much required impetus and at times the much needed push.

“What you resist persists!” If one understands the meaning of these four words, life will appear in simplified view. All these thoughts churn in my mind. One of my friends was leaving for good and I was trying to reconcile with these thoughts.

The person who takes the forward step witnesses the beautiful view earlier than the person behind. So, he trudges with full faith and enthusiasm. Wishing my friend enough wisdom and luck, as I turn around my vehicle and head home, my Popsie’s golden words echo in my mind, “In life, we meet to part and we part to meet. These are two sides of the same coin – life. Enjoy the phase which life puts you in.” In many communities, one always says, “Till we meet again!” There are no goodbyes in this circle of life. We meet to part and part to meet.

Filled with renewed energy and power, I leave with a smile and hope. The flipside will be part to meet. So, enjoy life fully every moment on daily basis. Inculcate this habit.

(With every write up, I meet with my readers and part at the end with the hope of meeting again.)

Love you all,

Juju

The right time to leave your child’s hand!

The right time to leave your child’s hand!

Disclaimer: This write up is my personal view point. Readers are free to differ. And can write their views in comments section.

 

Children belong to future. They come through us but we do not own them. If each one of us remember above two lines, life will be much easier for each one of us.

None of us are born parents. We become parents after the birth of our first born and here one’s child is one’s teacher. Each child demands different style of parenting. So, there is no rule book to master to become the best parents. There is no competition or race. Each parent does the best job as per their own knowledge, wisdom and instinct. 

When is the right time to leave your child’s hand? This is a million dollar question. Each one is bound to have their answer. I always believe in holding the hand of your child till they leave it, and not parents releasing the hand clasp earlier. The intention is pure and pious, the unconditional love for their children to make them independent.

Everyone likes a space where they do things by their choice. Anything done by choice gives immense satisfaction than a decision imposed. Similar happens in this case. When a child leaves the hand as per their own choice, there is tremendous boost in their self confidence. In a situation, where the parent withdraws the hand, the child may feel insecure. This may result in child clinging on for more time. The choice is always ours, as parents. It’s only a matter of few days or weeks, Sooner or later, your child will be independent. Don’t be in a hurry to do so. The after void is not well taken by many parents

Cherish this clasp for as long as it goes. Your child will leave you some day or the other. Let the parent child hand clasp be firm brimming with love and confidence. Let the choice be of your child. 

Happy parenting!

Love,

Juju

“I am forty” # Birthday humor

“I am forty” # Birthday humor

Human being is one of most beautiful, amazing and wonderful creation by Almighty. They celebrate their journey around the sun with full enthusiasm and spirit. On a lighter note, one relishes these celebrations till a certain age. Once past middle age, one begins to wonder the science behind these actions.

Recently, I happened to complete yet another circle around the sun. Being on the wrong side of forties implies nearing fifty. One of my friends casually asked, “How old are you?” “Forty,” I answered. I could hear a muffled giggle as she replied “This can’t be true.” I told my correct age and adorn my thinking cap after a really long time. 

Every time when we tell our age,  the same energy resonates within our own cells. During such times, we command our cells to function at that particular age. Even if one feels young, the spoken two digit number makes us feel older.

When I had started my practice in a small town, the female patients used to tell their age as forty. I don’t remember anyone going beyond forty. This used to intrigue me as to why anyone will hide their age? As years passed by, it dawned upon me, that they knew counting only till forty. For them forty was equivalent to the highest number in ageing. 

We are of the age as we feel so. That’s the reason we see people of the same age groups, differently maintained from one another. Few look younger than their real age and few look much older. 

I thought of applying ‘secret’ to this ongoing phenomenon too. From now on I have commanded my cells not to go beyond forty as in my town nobody ages beyond forty.

In my family and friend circle, this statement became a hit, “I am forty”.  Suits everybody! 

Carpe diem! 

Love,
Juju

The Gedi League!

 The Gedi League!

Love in forties # dedicated to my Honda

My favorite statement for this year is “What you have not done ever before, 2022 is the year to do such things.” It’s high time one learns to live fully and ticks off things on one’s bucket list.

One such thing which I ticked off is learning to ride a two-wheeler. With my son entering eleventh grade, I knew deep in my heart that he needs to be independent for his overall development. So, I faced my greatest fears of driving a two wheeler. Whatever, a mother fears, child will automatically start fearing. My parents especially my mother was wary of two wheelers and so I became one too. Four wheeler and bi-cycle have always been the love of my life.

Ever since I have learnt this new vehicle, I have fallen in love all over again. No guesses here ! It's with this metallic body. Now I know the feeling this love gives, As the speed soars, so do the emotions. There is complete bliss between the wind blowing, caressing my skin and the speed of my Honda. 

As the speed increases, so does wind velocity and it starts playing with one’s skin, hair and at times throws in dirt too like a menacing child who always spoils the sport. It’s important to control your speed and have full control in order to enjoy the ride.

In childhood, whenever we used to go to mountains, there used to messages on big rocks, painted white with message in black ,“ Speed thrills, but kills,“Remember someone is waiting for you at home.”These messages are deeply imprinted in my mind and I happen to recite them whenever I drive my two- wheeler. Driving is all about being in the moment. One more thing, which I realized, this is one of the best anti stress therapy.

With one more thing ticked off my bucket list, I came to the next. All this while I have heard this word ever since I have moved to Punjab, post marriage, “Gedi’. This implies a group ride on two-wheeler with friends, maybe solo with one friend too. Going together in complete synchrony evokes the most powerful happy hormones. When your friend trusts you, things work out on their own. With this faith, my friend sat, while I drove.

Post dinner time in summers is pleasant on few days in Northern India. Night was young, street lights were welcoming and roads beckoned us. We drove around for some time, stopped to have tea. Felt like we had relived college days (although I never had such experiences in college).This gave a different feel.

While riding back home, I couldn’t help wondering, how can a person who loves to do adventure sports be scared of a two wheeler?  Brushing aside this thought, I hummed my favorite song, “I had the time of my life …. ”

Now I can proudly say, that I am a part of this Gedi league.

* Please wear helmet. 

Love,

Juju

Press release - The India Saga# 4th book

 Hello ,

Sharing links of Press release - The India Saga of my 4th book/3rd anthology- My feelings on Paper Book 1 of My heart goes on. 

https://theindiasaga.com/saga-corner/lifetsyle/my-heart-goes-on-series-by-ukiyoto-publishing-dazzled-valentines-month-with-numerous-writers-declaring-their-love-via-letters/

Keep loving, keep caring. 

Keep ordering # keep reading#keep sharing.

Love,

Juju

Do we really know, the one’s in our lives?

Do we really know, the one’s in our lives?

There is always a part of us which is unknown to the rest. Each one has one’s own secret being, known only to oneself which we never share with anyone. This is the part which no one really comes to know, be it your spouse or children or your parents. Siblings and other relations come in the second tier. Although, it might be miniscule in component, yet the inner deposits keep on accumulating.  Lucky are the ones who find a listening ear or a non-judging soul. Every soul is on own journey and living in own timeline.

The surroundings, the circumstances and opportunities, vary from one person to another. Nobody can equate anyone’s life with anyone. One needs to accept the fact that there is lot more than you think or claim to know. Although, majority of us take pride in claiming to know their loved ones especially their children, we actually never come to know, at least in this lifetime. It is hidden in the person’s heart treasure box and stays with him and goes with him. This shell is seldom broken.

This is a different write up which I am sharing on mother’s Day. As mothers’ we take pride in the fact that we know what is happening in our children’s lives and we feel very accomplished and arrived in this world of motherhood. Reality is different. It’s is important to get the reality check for one’s own evolvement and inner transformation. One should remind oneself that in the moment when a child is born, a mother is born too (same applies for father). There is no school or college which gives a degree of perfect motherhood rather parenthood prior to childbirth. This parenthood is a journey where the teacher is your own child. 

When we go through the day, our orbits of interaction are different, at home level, school level, college, office and elsewhere. How much hard we may try to be friends with our children, there is bound to be a difference. Good parenting helps in bridging the gap easier (there is no term as bad parenting.) To many of us, it might appear to be a strange theory as we feel that we know what is happening in our loved ones lives.

Each soul has arrived on this Mother Earth with a different purpose and path trudged will be different too. We as parents have the role of bringing them into this world. Please remind yourself, “Children come through you, they don’t belong to you. They are children of future.”  This constant reminder will help us understand our children better in a healthy, positive, loving way.

This Mother’s day let’s pledge to give a listening, non judging ear to our children and restrain from giving unwarranted advises. After a certain age, as parents we should become intelligent enough to know when they are in receptive mode. Have faith in your upbringing and wait for the right moment to shower advises.

As parents, it’s time to take a backseat, let your children follow their heart and watch their play in the arena of world. If your child doesn’t share certain things with you, respect his privacy. It’s not that he/ she is trying to hide. Many a times, they are just waiting for the right moment to discuss with their parents.

As Sherlock Holmes repeatedly says, ‘Patience, my dear Watson patience.” Patience is the key.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,

Juju

I choose to smile!# My pledge

I choose to smile! Smile # My pledge

Interaction with Brahma Kumari sisters is always like opening up of floodgates. There is an unexplored ocean of knowledge and depth in each word which helps in refining and redefining the purpose of one’s life.

Dadi Janki on one of her visit to Europe made a pledge to smile on seeing grief and misery all around her. She made an affirmation that at least from her side, she would not add any burden to the already existing burden in the souls who came in contact with her. This was her way of keeping her karmic account in a positive balance. Initially, many foreigners got offended, thinking Dadi was mocking at them. Gradually, they learnt about her pledge and the reason for her smile. This generated great amount of respect for her.

I was impressed by this beautiful thought. Little efforts lead to great transformations. If each one of us takes individual responsibility, soon Earth will become heaven. Each one needs to shift focus from outer world towards one’s own inner world. If we attempt to make even one change in our behaviour or daily routine, it will act like a stepping stone towards a happier world.

Inspired by this anecdote, I have made a pledge. I will always wear my smile. Even if, I am unable to alleviate someone’s suffering, I will make all conscious efforts, not add to it. Each one, aspire to inspire one. This kind of chain reaction will help in resetting the world.

Hope you are wearing your smile, as you leave your comments.

Love,

Juju.  

22 Quad (22#22#22#22)

There are moments in everyone’s life when one wishes to grow up once again or beat the age by one or two decades. As one completes more than four decades around the sun, the vehicle in which one is moving (refer to one’s own body) carefree, starts demanding one’s time and care. Many of us transcend in this phase effortlessly smoothly, while for some it is a bumpy transition. The one factor which helps immensely, is being conscious at cellular level.
Four of my dear friends lost their parent within a short span of four months. The keen desire to be with them in their difficult times could not be fulfilled due to pandemic.  Three weeks ago, one of my friends called up to share her upcoming visit to her hometown. I casually asked her,  “Buddy, what do you want?” Prompt came her reply “You!”I completed our conversation with “Done.” I could hear surprise in her voice,“ Oh really!”
The very next day she called to confirm her travel dates. She expressed her wish, “It’s been 22 years since we have seen each other, I wish we could recreate those times even if for few hours, chit chat over tea, going for shopping and fine dining.” I felt like a genie as I replied, “Your wish is my command, my dear friend.” And from here upon, all the energy was diverted towards this whole universe to make this happen.
The week flew, she arrived. After spending initial few days with her mother, comforting her and herself, we finalized the date of our magic day. I got my train and flight ticket bookings without any ripples. It seemed so, as if the Universe had conspired and aligned itself to make our magic day happen. We were supposed to meet at another friend’s home. After traveling night and day in all possible modes of transport except water, we finally met. That moment was like Magic. It seemed as if I just opened my hostel room door and my friend stepped in just like TMH days. After routine exchange of greetings, we prepared tea and sat down on a comfortable couch. How time flew, is a million dollar question. As sun started to head westwards, we shook ourselves to present. Had a hearty laugh and went for shopping. It seemed as if we were still living as room mates just like residency days. Our silence was also communicating. We headed for fine dining and had a gala time. Mandatory photo shoot was done in between. Finally, when the yawns started creeping in and one of our friend’s legs started aching, we realized the moon was planning to give way to sun. 
We hugged each other and felt as if we had lived a lifetime in these 22 hours. Our hearts were brimming with happiness and love. As we were about to head in different directions, my friend exclaimed, “Hey, we are meeting after 22 years, 22 days in the year 2022 for 22 hours.” The other one promptly added, “Now, she (I) will dedicate a write up to our wonderful meet of Quad 22.”
Laughing we headed on different paths, back to from where we had come. On my journey back home, I felt at least 10 years younger, more happy, contended and rejuvenated. I felt as if I was a new version of my old self or a old version of my new self? Confusing, isn’t it! Well that’s the hangover of this 22 hours intoxication.
My friends know me really well. I dedicate this write up to my TMH buddies –ASVA (they will figure out for themselves). Life is meant to be shared and cherished. Moments spent with friends act like double booster shots. Hope all of you take your shots regularly.
Love,
Juju

I have wasted my Degree! -Insight by my elder monk

I have wasted my Degree! -Insight by my elder monk

 

While going through my residency day certificates, I looked up and sighed! The goals I had set when I had started walking on this path and the destination I had arrived, there seemed to be ambiguity. It seemed as if God had made some mistake? Can it actually happen? The answer was obvious in my brain and heart “No”. God does what is best for us and we should gracefully accept his decision. Something good must be in store for us, which might not be apparent initially, but in the long run, it’s always for our own betterment. Growing up with this philosophy of gratitude and faith, I slowly kept my certificate file back at its place.

Suddenly, I felt a tug in my heart and my feet seemed to weigh a lot. My body poise changed from a happy state to state of remorse. Out came a statement, “I have wasted my degree!” Out of nowhere, I heard a voice, “What are you saying mummy?” My trance was broken and these words brought me back into reality. I could see my elder monk looking at me with a firm expression. “Mom, what makes you think on these lines? You have a wonderful, fun filled, complete happy life. You attend to your profession even when you are not well and never take any offs. I have always seen you in your dress and sneakers in an ever ready mode. Then how comes you have wasted your degree? A degree is wasted if the person concerned doesn’t work as required and decides to be a homemaker. In such a scenario, one can think of degree being wasted. It’s a different story if you are working less as per your expectation.”

Each and every word seemed to hit at the right place. A feeling of gratitude and love swept over and my emotional state changed to a state of excitation and happiness. The void which my Momsie left was at times filled by my monks. Their depth of understanding and maturity always left me speechless.

My elder monk continued, “Mom you have had an amazing, inspiring journey. We have seen you going to work every single day, many a times late due some unavoidable reasons too, but you attend to your profession. You have spent your valuable time and energy in raising us and we have thoroughly enjoyed each and every moment spent together. You have wisely invested your time and energy in your children and family too, while tending to your professional duties too. You are an inspiration to many of us.”

My heart swelled with mixed emotions and my lids could barely hold back ocean of tears as I hugged her. That moment felt like a life lived for infinite years. With a naughty wink, she smiled and remarked, ‘Now, get going to your work on your favorite vehicle, your cycle, your pride.”

An unseen burden seemed to have lifted off my chest. I felt energetic and the sprint in my walk was back. These are the times, when I feel God makes contact with us through a medium. This time, the medium was my elder monk.

Try to be in a conscious open state of mind so as to identify all your mediums through which God is trying to reach you.

Love,

Juju

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